TimeKeeping
This session was played on 11/23/22 using one day for adventuring and one day of rest. Actions can be taken again on 11/25/22.
Participating PCs
Baldwinning (Lawful L1 Cleric Crusader)[E]
BriarWhisper (Lawful L8 Elven Ranger)[E]
Daria (Lawful L7 BladeDancer)[E]
Hanzo (Neutral L1 Thief, Tombraider)[E]
HollyFelled (Neutral L2 Elven Nightblade)[S]
Xanthos (Lawful L7 Cleric, Mendicant)[E]
Hench: HollyFelled: 2 Level 0 men. Daria: Roc Hudson (a giant roc) and Floyd Pepper (animal trainer specialist)
BriarWhisper Hench: SureLeaf Spellsword/5[E], MoonWeaver spellsword/5[E], SunDancer spellsword/5[E], Brightthistle spellsword/2, Snapdragon spellsword/2, Brightelm spellsword/2, Surefoot horse/4, Thistlemane horse/2, Thunderhoof horse/2, Shadowfeather owl/2, Moonwing owl/1,Bright eye/1
Foreword
This session happened during Muppet November in the Dubzaron Campaign setting. "What is Muppet November" you ask? Well it's where every biped in the campaign world woke up one day and they were a muppet version of themselves. "Dubs I have questions... firstly, why?" Well I can now reveal why this happened since it would be common knowledge in the world by this point.
Vince McMaximus is now a good guy! He had a full heel to face turn. Seems impossible the guy who has been running the underworld and black market in Dubzaron and who led the evil forces of Eddie in Brovenloft could turn Lawful (Good). But nothing is impossible with Wish!
Of course, monkey paw style backfires are also possible with Wish. It was quite an Ask to use Wish and have Vince not only change to opposite alignment but also become human. He was a demon boar with the ability to appear human, before!
So to change him human the monkey paw backfire was based on those goofy memes you see only where they ask "what film would you like to see with all the characters as muppets except one? And who would the one human actor be?"
Well Dubzaron became a muppet film where every character was a muppet except Vince McMaximus (based of course on Vince McMahon). The whole idea made me laugh so the Wish went off and Vince was a good human but the rest of the campaign suffered the muppety consequences.
Some players were annoyed. Some were excited and laughing like hell. And Jeffro was sniping on the twitters about "dubs used to call MY campaign too gonzo".
So keep in mind as you read the session report that every PC, orc, goblin, and anything that walks on two legs is a Muppet. Somewhere Vince was walking around towering over them all.
Session Report
The PCs gathered at Fort Apache in the New Badlands with a bunch of cavalry troops and like a gazillion hench elves. During downtime one (or a few?) of the players did some Lair hunting near the fort to eventually clear the land and expand Gaius's territory into it. During this like 3 crazy lairs generated, hitting on the same 6 mile hex. Myself and the player involved ruled this might be a dungeon complex. The lairs were 4 purple dragons, some wraiths or something, and another big bad I can't recall.
As the session went forward I tried to imagine what this place could look like or be. I tossed the idea out to the players like "ok what's here? Why is it so big and sprawling?" A couple seasons back Drakon Drained The Swamp(TM) thus creating "The New Badlands" where this strange point of interest resided. One player suggested this complex was beneath the muck and water, hidden until the swamp was drained. That made us all think of Atlantis. But it's Muppet November so it became Muppetalantis. And just like that, with a couple suggestions and some workshopping with players and DMs, we created a Megadungeon that I'm extremely pumped to run in the future. Muppetlantis!
While Muppet November was scheduled to end in November, Muppetlantis is a weirding place where the Muppet curse (or blessing, depending on your view) remains. Some time before in a different age the muppetlanteans became too prideful. Their technology spat on the faces of the gods themselves! The Lawful gods were angry at their Muppety pride but the Chthonic (evil) gods the muppetlanteans now worshiped refused to protect them because they had also become annoyed by the muppetlanteans constant showtune singing.
So they were buried beneath the rains and swamp, frozen in time until the swamp waters were removed. Deep in Muppetlantis is a cursed sinkhole where Marley and Marley scour for souls to eat and losers to heckle. But brave adventurers might delve into the technological ruin of Muppetlantis for spaceship parts, dylithium crystals, lazer rifles and the like. Is it worth the risk? Lets find out.
The Lair the players set their targets on during this session was one with 4 evil purple dragons. Some time after Muppetlantis was revealed these dragons came, pulled by the evil magnetism of the cursed Marley and Marley sinkhole. They claimed the massive glass and chrome entry hallways and rooms of Muppetlantis.
As per my house rules it was generated they were being served by a beastmen village, in this case hobgoblins (randomly rolled). The dragons commanded the muppethobs to hold the wall against any intruders of their new Muppetlantis lair.
The PCs had many companies of cavalry and infantry on loan from Gaius's Fort Apache. You may notice many of the original PCs came back for this session looking for a big score of 4 dragon hoardes and the promise of leading armies into battle against great odds.
The party and their host approached the altantean style techno walls which were manned by muppet gnolls. I started to say one of the dragon launched a fireball at the Party's troops but got some pushback of "why no initiative?" and things like that. I recanted the "surprise" fireball and decided we'd go into mass combat. This is the weird sort of transitional gray area a DM needs to consider when dealing with a shift from DND style skirmish combat to Mass Combat which is troop focused. Jeffro will quote this part of my session report to gloat about how I should just "scale up" and "no one runs ACKS Domains at War" or something.
For Mass Combat I decided to use the middle difficulty style which ACKS has. There is a very simple abstracted Mass Combat from Domains At War:Campaigns which translates eveything into Battle Rating (BR) and this BR attacks are rolled and applied simultaneously. With this smaller strategies like which buff spell to use or positioning on field are not important.
ACKS also has a full on hex and chit wargame in Domains At War: Battles which we've yet to use for anything. I will on day! Tonight the "Medium Difficulty" was used which still doesn't use hex field positioning and abstracts army attacks. But it also has the armies go through various Phases of Missile (archers etc), then Skirmish (Light Cavalry and Light Infantry), and Melee (everything). As the armies close the distance in Theater of the Mind (TOTM), various units become usable. This also limits the Heroic Forays PCs can be apart of. If they attach themselves to a unit as a General or something and that unit is in Missile Phase, then that PC can only do a Heroic Foray when the Missile troops are being used.
This is what happened in the first Heroic Foray wherein Daria (welcome back!) was teamed up with some of Briar's elves, including Sureleaf (link to Arganos session here). The elves used sleep and fireballs or something (iirc) to kill a bunch of muppet gnolls while Daria waded in and sliced through a bunch as well. The dragons were not part of the Foray since they were too scared to position themselves as Missile units (flyers can do this). Daria and the elves were slicing through the hobs until the gnoll champions and subchiefs were able to close the distance with the elves and take some down. I don't remember all the details. Eventually, however, Daria and some of hte elves fell. The good guys did squeak out a win of the Heroic Foray with only Moonleaf so they were able to secure the good guys' bodies and try to heal them and such as the Mass Combat raged on.
By the end of the Foray and the first Mass Combat roll, all the hobgoblins were dead. General Xanthos ordered his army to Advance and soon the Skirmish units were going at it. The dragons, who were positioned as Skirmishers, forced a Heroic Foray where 2 of them (an Adult and Mature Adult) attacked just about every good guy skirmisher on the field. Xanthos, Baldwinning, and Hollyfelled (iirc) were part of this Heroic Foray.
The dragons were very effective and I don't believe the PCs or troops even laid one attack on them. The main strategy used was a dragon with a Fear Aura flying over the entire 45 or so troops the PCS had at their disposal in the Foray and scaring them enough for them to run away. So it ended up being just the dragons VS the PCs. The PCs didn't have much in the way of Missile Attacks so the PCs decided "Run Away" was the best strategy. Xanthos fell and Baldwinning bravely pulled him out of the combat. Things were looking bad for the good guys as most all of their troops were dead or fleeing the battlefield from the magic dragon fear.
 |
| it's me, blind pew! |
But lets slow down and talk about the thief, Hanzo. The player realized that he would be unlikely to get a good class grade if he just stood by and watched a mass combat. It's just not really what thieves do. It's not that he'd get the WORST grade but he certainly wouldn't be able to achieve the BEST grade. So during all the mass combat madness he decided to sneak around the whole army battle and go inside Muppetlantis and see if he could secure a bag or two. Inside he passed under a large arch with "Welcome to Muppetlantis" in neon letters and traveled down a 20' wide hallway the dragons were using to enter and exit their lairs.
Now this was a bit difficult to adjudicate since here I am in the middle of (poorly) running an extremely complicated mass combat thing and the thief wants to essentially dungeon delve at the same time. That's what this type of gaming is about, though. I introduced class grades the PC wants to try and fulfill their Class Role. So what's a DM to do?
I don't have time to go grab a module and say "this is muppetlantis and its maps and room contents". I don't have the mental energy to just make it up on the fly. Remember, we just invented this megadungeon and its theme at the start of the session itself. But what I do have is a 1e DMG and it's amazing random dungeon generator Appendix A!
I determined the dragons would need 20' wide hallways to get in and out of the place. I determined it would need some distance so the PCs wouldn't have been able to see inside from their vantage point outside. So I made 60' long and 20' wide muppetlantean hallway with no clue what was at the end and then I started rolling on Appendix A as Hanzo explored.
This hallway went into the place at least 100 feet before coming to a T intersection. Unfortunately for Hanzo this is when I rolled a random encounter hit and he failed on his sneaking. I checked the DMG in AppendixA and some weird monster hit that I've never heard of. I didn't have time to go find my 1e Monster Manual and Fiend Folio so I flipped to the back of DMG where it has the AC, HD etc for all the monsters on its charts. Turns out this creature has psionics. How to do psionics in ACKS? Charm Person spell ability!
So I decided the closest thing to a weird mind control monster in Muppetlantis would be Blind Pew from "Muppet Treasure Island" fame. So here came my stupid french accent.
I rolled Reaction Check and Blind Pew was Friendly towards Hanzo. He informed the thief he was a servant of the dragons and one of his jobs was to assure enough vinegar to pickle the people the dragons liked to eat. Hanzo is now obsessed with bringing vinegar to Muppetlantis for his new best pal Blind Pew. Everything else that happened between the thief and muppet is unclear to the other party members but Hanzo came out of the dungeon with a nice Magic Short Sword which Blind Pew gave him. I can't imagine what could possibly go wrong.
Back at the mass combat Briar had taken over as general since Xanthos was down. The army was mostly trying to flee the field and Briar was doing opposed Strategy rolls vs the dragons to try and disengage. He failed one of the checks which actually turned out to have been a saving grace since it allowed Briar to do a Heroic Foray with his Dragon Slaying arrows, which is what he had been trying to position himself to do all along; but the Medium Difficulty mass combat rules had him (or others?) mixed up a bit and they couldn't quite get Briar where they wanted and when. Briar won initiative and, having drank speed potion, 2 shotted 2 dragons with dragon slaying arrows and they died. The good guys won the day!
At this point the players were trying to decide what to do. They had some major PCs down and hurt and unable to go on. But they wanted to gather up the dragon lair treasures they assumed weren't too deep inside the dungeon ahead. So Baldwinning grabbed a Miracle scroll of Xanthos's flailing near dead body and called on the deity Turas to "completely heal all the hurt/dead compatriots in the field". Turas thought that was pretty cool and gave Baldwinning a thumbs up. But he also gave the cleric a Quest to go "help out Vince McMaximus with 1 Lawful job he deems you to do". Seems weird but ok?
The hurt/dead party members magically stood back up and they delved into the dungeon leaving their cavalry to watch the door. It didn't take too deep into the dungeon for them to come across Hanzo who pointed out where the dragon lairs were, with big piles of gold and the like. Hanzo was cagey about what he had seen and only mentioned Blind Pew in passing.
I've forgotten to mention through this whole session report that Kortes the Explorer, a PC of I think level 5 or 6, was captured by these dragons during downtime. That was another of the reasons the PCs were interesting in claiming the place. They were hoping to save the Explorer and their friend. Sadly they found parts of his dead body pickled in large jars for the dragons to enjoy as a snack later.
The party and their mercs grabbed everything up from the stacked dragon hordes and went back to Fort Apache and we wrapped.
Grading Thoughts
Best to worst grades: E, S, F, P
Baldwinning the Cleric risked his life to try and save Xanthos's fallen body from the Foray against the Dragons. I'd say that aligns with his Alignment and "uses all healing spells" as per Gygax's cleric grade conception so E.
BriarWhisper's grading criteria is a bit less clear, being a class not in 1e. But since 1e Ranger is a subclass of 1e Fighter I'd say "be bold etc" works fine. Briar was bold and had no moments of trying to save his own skin so E.
Daria additionally is a weird class being a Cleric but a fighting cleric so the "be bold" criteria might apply as much or more than cleric's "use all healing spells". She was certainly bold so E.
Hanzo was quintessential thief, hanging his companions out to dry to try and score something for himself. Also being a Tomb Raider as per his ACKS class Template, he most certainly raided a tomb. So E. HollyFelled is an elven nightblade which is an assassin/mage. I didn't see cowardice (a good thing for thief grading) and the mission itself (mass combat) wasn't very thiefy so S. Xanthos got E as usual primarily for seeking and destroying evil dragons and for using every healing spell he could.
DM Self Grade!
Best to worst grades: A, B, C, D, F
I wasn't super creative on harnessing the Muppet November concepts to make for an interesting session at first. I started out slow mentally and creatively, even forgetting to mention every one's a damn muppet at all! Thankfully the Players helped spur on creativity when I asked what this dungeon could be and said it was sunken beneath the swamp. Then that turned into Muppet Atlantis (Muppetlantis) and the whole Blind Pew stuff. The only failing on this part was my forgetting about Hanzo and Blind Pew for too long and not going back to that scene more. A new interesting mega (kilo?) dungeon and a fun new NPC means creatively it all came out solid by the end. Mechanics wise was much worse. Getting bullied into pulling back on the dragon fireball was meh. Should have either stood my ground or have more clarity on said rules. After hearing my thoughts on this a player said I made a good call because they should also get to missile fire or something. But players always like rulings that favor them so I take that with a pound of salt.
Additionally I should have ran reaction checks at least to see if the dragons kept pursuing at the end. I had already ruled at least 2 of the dragons were super smart and they may have thought better than trying to pursue an elven ranger in missile phase (where they'd be at a major disadvantage). Gygax states that really smart NPCs can be played to basically know what the DM knows and I had a pretty good inkling Briar was ready to off my monsters with magic arrows. Overall the execution of the Medium Difficulty Mass Combat was a bit clumsy. Much room for improvement. DM Grade: D
Deceased
Dama (L1 Venturer) played by RR. Current total xp: 75. DECEASED. Poison gas in Session 3.
Darius LeVay (L1 Assassin) played by JB. Current Total XP:451. DECEASED. Poison gas in Session 3.
Donald the Guardsman (L1 Fighter) played by MP. Current Total XP:570. DECEASED. Intra-party justice in Session 3.
Felix (L1 Thief) played by Nicholas. Current Total XP:431. DECEASED. Poison gas in Session 3.
Hektor (L1 Paladin) played by Moai. DECEASED. Cause of Death: goblin warg rider throat removal surgery in Session 2
Leonidas the Inquisitor (L1 Cleric) played by RR.Current Total XP:498 DECEASED. Frozen undead blistering cold aura left his skin frostbitten and broken in Session 6. Body not recovered.
Mard the Mage (L1 Mage) played by Nicholas. DECEASED. Frozen undead blistering cold aura left his skin frostbitten and broken in Session 6. Body not recovered.
Yolo Baggins "My friends call me Swaggins" (L1 Gnomish Trickster) played by J. DECEASED. Paralyzed and eaten by ghouls in Session 12. Body not recovered.
Jack Filcher (L1 Thief) played by C. DECEASED. Shot full of arrows by Inthorn's brigands in Session 12. Body not recovered.
Swoleous Maximus (L1 Paladin). DECEASED. Captured then drawn and quartered by Inthorn the Brigand warlord in Session 12. Posthumously named "Petty Hero of Turos Tem" by Legate Valerian. Ashes offered a place of pride in the Hospital.
Damianus (L1 Cleric). DECEASED. Captured and beheaded by Inthorn the Brigand warlord in Session 12. Posthumously named "Petty Hero of Turos Tem" by Legate Valerian. Ashes offered a place of pride in the Hospital.
Bucky (L1 Barbarian). DECEASED. Became a illegal pit fighter during his downtime. Had two bouts to the death, winning the first and losing the second. Was killed by Young Jack Sparrow who sashayed into the ring, drank rum, and mogged on Bucky before putting a dagger into his ribs, killing him. This happened during downtime between Session 17 and 18.
Broll Wolf-Eater (L1 Barbarian). Current total XP: 1079. DECEASED. Carried off by harpies after falling for their enchanting song in Session 19.
Brother Franklin (L1 Cleric). DECEASED. Decapitated by a mad cultist of a Lovecraftian slime thing in Session 19.
Felix the Elder (L1 Bard). Total XP 825. DECEASED. Captured by mad cultists and fed to a Lovecraftian slime monster in Session 19.
Templar Flavius Africanus (L1 Cleric). Total XP 7. Killed by the claws and beak of mad harpies in Session 19.
Xendi (L1 Explorer). Total XP 6. DECEASED. Carried off by harpies after falling for their enchanting song in Session 19.
Yllmeeton (L3 Shaman). Total XP 4,563. Bludgeoned by the corpse of a bowmen by Rosie Odonnel hag in Session 21.
Longinus (L2 Assassin). Total XP 2,036. Had his face ripped off by Rosie Odonnel hag in Session 21.
Mandonio (L3 Fighter). Total XP 4,779. Charred to a leprous crisp by diseased Dragon breath in Session 22.
Corydon (L1 Joker). Total XP: 0. Burnt to a crisp by chimera breath so thoroughly his corpse wasn't even fit for the crows. Died with a smile on his face and a song in his heart. that's life and as funny as it seems... some people get their kicks, stomping on a dream... In Session 25.
Donny Keebler (L1 Elven Spellsword). Total XP 2,238. Had his legs burned completely off by chimera fire breath in Session 25.
Marina (L2 Fighter). Total XP: 2,204. Burnt into ash by a chimera fire breath in Session 25.
Gundro (L2 Gnomish Trickster). Total XP: 2,575. Had his mouth and tongue bitten off by a lizardman ambusher in the dank sewers below Cyfaraun in Session 26.
Polydoros (L1 Fighter). Total XP: 0. Had his legs ripped off and eaten by Akira monsters in the dark canopy of the Viaspen Forest in Session 28.
Odrum (L1 Explorer). Total XP: 287. Javelin to the heart from the hands of weird vine goblins hidden in the walls of Ferigno's lair in Session 30.
Garvin the Nutless Wonder (L1 Mage). Total XP: 0. Fell off the side of Ferigno's lair 20 feet to his death in Session 30.
Blackmoon (L1 Assassin). Total XP: 768. Choked to death by BOB from Twin Peaks while stealing treasure from Ferigno's dragon horde in Session 30.
Xanthus (L2 Cleric). Total XP: 2,364. Choked to death by BOB from Twin Peaks while hanging out on the roof of Ferigno's lair in Session 30.
Lord Zyklon (L1 Elven Spellsword). Total XP: 0. LORD ZYKLON DISEMBOWLED LORD ZYKLON upon finding himself on the losing side of the Desolation of Turos Tem.
Turin (L1 Cleric). Total XP: 0. Eaten by Wargs in Session 32.
Rat Face (L2 Thief) Total XP: 1,577. Seemingly grabbed in the dark by a Xenomorph in Session 36. In a sinkhole your party can hear you scream!
Smarticus (L1 Mage) Total XP: 0. Captured by a Xenomorph in Session 36 for all the party to witness. Taken deep into a sinkhole.
Hearticus (L1 Cleric) Total XP: 0. Gored to death by giant horned beetles in Session 39 after projectile vomiting all over himself from the stink of sewer sludge.
Mickey Mouser (L1 Thief) Total XP: 0. Gored to death by giant horned beetles in Session 39 in the happiest place on earth: the Cyfaraun sewer!
Aenes (Level 1 Paladin) Total XP: 62. Swarmed by giant flies in the sewer beneath Cyfaraun in Session 40.
Acianus (Level 1 Mage) Total XP: 0. Chopped to pieces in Session 42 by a six armed demon statue from behind and quickly forgotten about by his compatriots who saved MadEye and lamented Hardar instead. But I'll never forget you Acinanu nanu...nanite... nananaa...
Hardar (Level 2 Mage) Total XP: 2,832. Chopped up in Session 42 by a six armed demon statue as he held his Darth Vader Choking Grip spell long enough for his compatriots to escape an unwinnable battle. His dream to become the most evil being in the universe suffers eternally the indignity of being remembered for self sacrifice and laying his life down for his friends.
Nubbs (Level 3 Thief) Total XP: 4,017. Swarmed by scarabs which bored into his ears and brain in Session 45.
Grummz (Level 1 Dwarven Vaultgard) Total XP: 0. Ripped limb from limb by a throng of skeletons and their undead golem leaders in Session 46.
Grommzs (Level 1 Dwarven Vaultguard) Total XP: 2,168. Torn to bits and eaten by trolls in session 48
Rapunzel (Level 4 Priestess) Total XP: 11,540. Torn to bits and eaten by trolls in Session 48.
Schizo (Level 1 Mage): Total XP: 0. Frozen to death by an assassin's guild ruffian bard wielding a Wand of Cold in session 54.
Marteen (Level 1 Thief): Total XP: 0. Fell to his death in Lamalla's Temple upon a pile of dragon horde gold. Corpse eaten by Sheila the Beautiful, an Ancient Blue Dragon in session 56.
Ambrose (Level 2 Cleric): Total XP: idk. Strangled to death by cursed octopi in a canoe on Lake Laman claiming the Sinister Stone of Sakkara for Law and eventual destruction in session 63.
Traiticus (Level 9 Fighter): Total XP: alot. Head split in half by Froggo's bronze magic "Fren Axe" during Operation Muscle Thunder on 08/09/22.
Alina (Level 7 Mage). Cut in half at her belt line by Froggo's bronze magic "Fren Axe" during Operation Muscle Thunder on 08/09/22.
Olgar McKenzie (Level 5ish Barbarian). Soul eaten by Stormbringer wielded by the Manson the mad assassin during Operation Muscle Thunder on 08/09/22.
Celeste (Level 7ish Witch). Soul eaten by Stormbringer wielded by the Manson the mad assassin during Operation Muscle Thunder on 08/09/22. Said Ancient Soul caused a backfire effect and blasted Manson's face off leaving him dead in the sea foam.
Allen A'Dulles (Level 1 Bard): Petrified by a basilisk in the Meniri Mountains in Session 66.
Cyfaraun (Level 1 Elven Spellsword): Eaten by basilisks in the Meniri Mountains in Session 66.
Tamryn (Level 1 Elven Spellsword): Petrified by a basilisk in the Meniri Mountains in Session 66
Allen the Bard (Level 1 Bard): Petrified by a basilisk in the Meniri Mountains in Session 66.
UnNamed Venturer (Level 1 Venturer): Killed by astral demons and sucked into the vacuum of spacetime in Session 66.
Major Garland Briggs (Level 1 Explorer): Killed by the crossbow bolt of an angry thracian in a dormant (?) volcano dungeon called Queens Rest Mountain. Then his body was eaten by giant chameleons as the rest of the party made their escape in Session 73.
Autumn Leaves (Level 1 Elven Spellsword): Died to lizardman crossbow bolts to the tears of her adventuring compatriots who tried to revive her after absconding with her corpse just outside Queens Rest Mountain in Session 73.
Xanthos (Level 6 Cleric): Cut down by a flaming blade by a very powerful thracian lizardman below Queens Rest Mountain in Session 74. Ressurected about two weeks later.
Stormin' Norman (Level 1 Gnomish Trickster): Captured by the lizardman tribe below Queens Rest Mountain whilst trying to use illusionist tricks to steal a magic spear. Was subsequently fed to their Giant Chameleons for being an annoying gnome in Session 74.
Kortes (Level 5ish Explorer): Captured and pickled by Blind Pew and the 4 purple dragons of Muppetlantis sometime during downtime in late October or early November.
Alexa this is so sad play "Rainbow Connection" by Kermit the Frog and the Muppets in "The Muppets Movie" original motion picture soundtrack
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