This Week In UMBROS: 06/02/26 to 06/13/2026

Hooja grows old upon losing the
Home Stone shard...

UMBROS continues on as a TOTAL NONSTOP BRAUNSTEIN campaign using Advanced Dungeons and Dragons 1e. The following are reports, rumors, omens, proclamations, and tavern-whispers gathered from the campaign over the last stretch of play. 

Most of these are SEEN POSTS made after Downtime Orders are complete/adjudicated. But last week I also ran "Braunstein Session" (such as it was) as the DM and I played as the PC Azkin the Elf (T1/F1) in an Adventuring session where we delved a dungeon. So I was a PC playing (not DMING!) in the module I wrote. While also DMing the Faction Tier play in the same game world. 

As I stated today in the ACKS discord: all things may seem possible when it comes to people's D&D campaigns but BROSR campaigns like this have a great deal more of "we did this very cool thing". While non-BROSR campaigns have alot of talk of "wouldn't it be cool if we did this or that cool thing". Below are all things that DID happen in UMBROS. Or false rumors or even false flags about things that did happen...

The reports below are presented in date order.

06/05/26

Keen-eyed citizens of Firsthaven spot merfolk and the dragon Coralynth far out at sea. Her scouts probe closer to the shore to gather information about the unfolding conflict among the drylanders. If the circumstances are right, Coralynth and her children of the sea may involve themselves.

Editor Note: The guy who is trying to help me get UMBROS in print (I lost the master files somewhere along the way... and DTRPG's print shop is so difficult to send properly sized covers etc to. sorry!) has taken on the role of CORALYNTH THE SEA DRAGON. While some told me I should invite the wemmenz division champion to run this ridiculously feminine faction leader of a Love Dragon + Mermaids, my friend assured me he could do justice to the Faction without feeling silly. The faction was based off of Poul Anderson's "The Mermen's Children" (plus a dragon to be a foil to Ferigno) it does, frankly, seem easier to play this faction upon inspiration from various disney princess films. 

06/05/26

The human wizard who has been hanging around Tootchville for several weeks was spotted slipping out of town. When interested parties asked what he was doing, he responded: "Can't tell you. NDA."

06/05/26

A TRAITOR CAPTURED

Hooja the Sly was arrested around midday at the Water Buffalo Tavern and Flophouse by Prince Ronan and a cadre of soldiers. After troops surrounded the establishment, he attempted to slip out the back door and quaff an invisibility potion. Alerted by an agent of Ferigno, Prince Ronan tackled him, slathered him with honey and threw flour all over him, allegedly as an anti-invisibility measure, and definitely presenting an interesting sight. Inside sources say Ferigno ordered the double-cross in order to expand his domain into the Umbral Swamps. Hooja is being held upon a charge of sacrilege and attempted murder and awaits justice in an undisclosed location

Editor's Note: This was played out in real session play. Sadly the player of Hooja was not available to do session play; which would have been a fun little chess match between Ronan's player and Hooja's player. I invited other folks who showed up for my Session Braunstein to run Hooja but they declined by giving such excuses as "I'm busy", "I just wanted to listen in and not play", and "Hooja is the worst character of all time and I'd not be caught dead playing him". So I ran Hooja using the usual DM tricks of Reaction Checks, Thief/sneaking checks, etc. His capture was extremely unlikely despite the player himself, in downtime, making what I would consider some bad decisions that put him right in the crosshairs of Ronan and others.

But Ronan's plan to snatch Hooja from the Water Buffalo Tavern and Flophouse was very paladin coded (read: speak loudly and carry a bit stick. Read: kind of dumb) in that he marched up a small army on the tavern. I determined this would easily get noticed by a high level thief from just hearing dinosaur mounts stomp up. So I used Hooja's "Hide in Shadows" check to sneak out of the place and run off. But the player of Hibobu had done a downtime order where his totally-not-thief "girls" were watching the Flophouse. I allowed them to make a Spy check to see Hooja leave. They succeeeded. But Hooja had an invsibility potion which he quaffed to continue his escape. 

As you may know (probably not because no one but Jeffro has actually read all of 1e without ignoring the stuff they don't like), 1e allows a low chance to see through magic invisibility if you are high Intelligent and/or High Level. Ronan isn't super smart but he is high level, the only one with a shot to have seen invisible Hooja at that location. He has a 10% chance. I rolled it on a d100... and hit a 7. So as unlikely as it was, Ronan saw him. Quickly tackled him and tied him up. Thus ended my session play that night and this SEEN post.

06/05/26

Shortly after Hooja was dragged off by the Prince the Guild's warehouse doors were thrown open. On a riding thrag, Hibobu himself led a lethel parade to the North Gate. Bystanders counted 12 enormous war thags with their hoodahs in place. The 7 kitten litter of Sabre Toothed tigers led by the little dark skinned leader Imagi. Finally Hildaga now with pink hair in armor and Captain Shulgi in shining Broze armor. The group stopped near the gate. The Thrags waiting patiently. The Tigers circling and snarling also waiting but not so patiently. Hibobu climbs the wall standing among his archers he peers out judging the reaction of the siege to Hooja's capture.

6/6/2026

Ironrider Marches

The gates of Goldhold opened and a small army marched out, singing glad songs of bravery and death. The gruff voice of Ironrider rang out clearest of all, seemingly relishing the opportunity to leave the golden throne. The army moved southwards before observers lost sight of it.

Editor's Note: By way of practicing my adjudication of 1e wilderness travel rules, I ran this in the Braunstein Session. The player of the Dwarves was one of the few who showed up so I figured we could give some flvaro to his travel. I bet he wished it would have been done in solitaire play, where somehow all Players who run their own travel never hit the 70% chance of getting lost in the Forest, but alas it was me. And he got lost in the forest. ALOT. Over and over for days on end. Eventually arriving at his goal of... well I can't tell you because it's secret. 

6/6/26

An envoy from the mad wizard Tootch has been seen entering and exiting Prince Ronans palace this past week

06/07/26

Earlier today the Guild Master, Hibobu, could be seen walking along the northern wall followed by his Captain Shulgi and the 10 Elite Guard. The top merchant spent some time among his archers who have been standing the wall since Stinkbreath Ferigno arrived. He joked and back slapped the bowmen talking to each before descending once again entering the Prince’s palace. Some say the archers number 70 but most put the number nearer to 50. Either way that’s a lot of bodkins. In a somewhat related story, Hibobu’s "Shiny Guard" infantry took to an alley near his warehouse and drilled up and down. They practiced in a spear and shield wall, practicing the advance, falling back and turning corners. At one point they invited spectator boys to cast rocks at them while they formed an impressive testudo.

06/07/26

Unexplained anomalies at the Firsthaven Home Stone

“We have just completed our scheduled reconnaissance of the Firsthaven Home Stone, and the situation makes absolutely no tactical sense.
There was a strange, faint magical signature humming directly from stone’s location. Our scouts believe the stone is being hidden. We cannot definitively trace the origin, though the residue bears a frustratingly familiar, arcane frequency that some of our scouts associate with Cain.
Why would anyone—let alone a cleric pretending to hold the line—be slinking around the literal foundation of our domain under the cover of darkness?

6/8/2026

The forces of the dragon arrayed outside the walls of Firsthaven had, for these past weeks, menaced the city. While life had continued, the worried eyes of the women and children and the cautious glances of the men revealed the long shadow of terror that darkened their hearts. How much longer would supplies last? How much longer would the dragon wait, like a sabertooth tiger circling a thag’s calf, before finally he pounces?

A mammoth of a man stood before the Home Stone in its high tower. Sweat from his afternoon in the training yard dripped from his sinewy arms, yet this titanic warrior wept for the people of this city, for the people of this kingdom, even for those of the far places of the Umbral Lands. Darkness seemed to spring unending here, threatening to swallow whole everything good and holy. How could one stand against such darkness?

But the question never crossed his mind, only its answer. He lifted his great sword, its ivory blade gleaming in the Stonelight and spoke with a voice clear and resolute, heard by all nearby. “By strength, by steel, by spilled blood; for justice, for glory, for victory; this city will not fall. This light shall not fade. This torch will be carried across the Umbral Lands until every shadow is banished. This I vow.”

06/08/26

Reports of ravening ghouls encroaching from the West. Though they seem to have had a hard time finding prey, reports are filtering into the civilized regions with striking clarity. These ghouls have been enhanced by Moriva herself and move about shrouded in clinging darkness, seeking the flesh and blood of the living.

Editor's Note: I gave Moriva the Lich Queen faction to a guy who normally runs a low level PC. He said his PCs were "busy training so he wants something to play in downtime". Bet. Like players do he came up with a really weird use of resources by casting Darkness on some ghouls and sending them out to terrorize and bring more ghouls (and treasure?) back to him. Could be interesting! 

06/13/26

Living Large When You're Short

Azkin the Elf Thief/Fighter, recently of the Twilight Pines but now a member of the Hel Delvers was seen enjoying some moderately priced wine at the Goat House Tavern in Tootchland. Some say he was bragging on how successful the recent delve into Helrock was "thanks to me, yet I wasn't able to swipe any extra take from the place. Just an even cut, sad to say." Most rumors say he didn't get particularly drunk and boasts of "high constitution, despite my fun size."

Editor's Note: Azkin is my PC. I played him in a regular dungeon delve. It was pretty fun but I had a long list of suggestions for the other players on how they could suck less, the next day. Among the suggestions were "plan more" and "dont crosstalk the mic" and "roleplay more". All stuff that Gygax put in to last pages of the PHB, of which all the UMBROS PCs are supposed to have read. Did they... or did they ignore Gygax like everyone else for 40 years until Jeffro came around? idk but I hope our success continues and, with me as Caller, I'm certain it will!

06/13/26

Back to (Wizard) School

Serevas, the elven Magic User/Thief, was seen in the upper loft of the shabby barn many of the adventures of Tootchville call home between delves. The typically prideful elf was studiously pouring over his spell book and several arcane scrolls secured from Keblar in exchange for treasures found in the Hel Dungeon. He was also sporting a fancy silver broach on his cloak, which he insists contains powerful magics, though when pressed he was unable to explain what it actually does. The elf was last seen with a jingling sack of coins heading for Tootch’s Tower, no doubt looking to implore the tower’s master to teach him greater understanding of the arcane.

06/13/26

A Terrifying Creature

Residents of Tootchville report seeing an adventuring party return from the Hel dungeon, with an abominable creature in tow.

"Alive without breath..." "As cold as death!" "Ever staring, never seeing." "A decaying flesh, a hellish being..."

The whispers of the residents were quite the mystery. What could Tootch be doing with this...thing?

This Week in UMBROS: 05/25/26 to 06/01/26

UMBROS trots along.

I am running UMBROS as a Type IV Braunstein (Total NonStop Braunstein), which means the world keeps moving between dungeon delves. Players (some who control regular adventurers and some who control Faction Leaders) take actions between live sessions through Downtime Orders. Using SEEN, they send in rumors, omens, tavern talk, battlefield reports, and strange little flashes of life from the setting. Some are true. Some are half true. Some are what a frightened caveman swore he saw after three ales and a bad night.

I then post them, as is, into a news channel on the campaign Discord. Players reaction to this as they like in the subsequent week.

The UMBROS campaign has been running for a few months with an Adventure (dungeon delve) tier and a Faction Tier ran with Type II methods. This essentially creates a TNB! I haven't promoted the campaign much here but realize it might be time. 

Most of these news posts are from Players (using SEEN) and not edited by me at all. So the quality of prose is very spotty indeed!

Here is this week’s news from UMBROS.

5/26/26

Those passing by the Glarewood hear rustling within. One soul braving a peek in can see an army of vinelings being assembled. This army of over 70 vinelings looks ready to march out. One vineling was asked what was going on, but only responded with a low groan and tried to eat the wanderer.

Editor's Note: Astute players may have considered the fact that Ferigno was on the march. Some days later he's outside of the LG City of Firsthaven to set a siege! Always pay attention to the news channel!

5/26/26

No Greater Love

Underneath the roiling sky, beneath the ruined stone of the ancient temple, beyond the black and swirling cold, arrows flew and men died. Grark, covered in jackal blood, drove his spear into another as his battle brother Hurok slashed his blade through a jackal’s guts. Tyrone yelled something as he made his way back to the stairs, side stepping Durf’s body as he loosed a silver arrow into the half-skeletal priestess. The thing screamed in pain as the silver seared her flesh, but as Grark looked to Hurok it became apparent that they were thinking the same thing. The battle was lost, and Brokkar is not here.

As the Jackal Spirits and the towering priestess descended the fell stairs towards the pair, Grark interposed himself between Hurok and the oncoming foes. Once before, Grark had not been able to save his brother. Never again. Here he would hold, here he would win, or here he would die.

The fighting was fierce, for nearly an entire minute Grark held off the beasts. A Jackal Spirit lay at his feet, the smoking iron spear lodged in its ribs as the giant priestess lumbered within range of Grark, its horrible claws and skeletal features juxtaposed by the beautiful half-face of a woman yet equal in beastial ferocity. With the last of his strength, Grark launched himself towards the thing, his silver spear plunging deep into the creature as its claws tore through his flesh.

As Grark’s world went red, then black, his last thoughts turned to his friends, hopefully safe beyond the black, and to the Homestone, whose light he wished he could see one last time.

05/26/26

Rumor speeds from the West on Mercury’s winged feet.

At the moment the sphere appeared in the sky at the Eastern end of the continent, the shadows deepened in the West. A frenzy of activity has been reported in the Umbral Lands with reports of a long-buried empire awakening. It is said that this empire is digging for its ruins, seeking something since lost to the millennia.

Beneath all the disparate rumors, however, runs one common thread: for the first time in living memory, the black gates of the fortress of Hel’s Reach have opened.

The dread Lich Queen Moriva walks abroad.

05/26/26

Impatient Tootch

All morning, various golems were seen building a stage of sorts in the beautifully manicured lawn court of lavender grasses that stretch out at the front door to Tootch’s Tower. Around lunchtime, by the light of the Home Stone brightest, Tootch ascended the stage for a presentation. He cleared his throat as if to speak but then, instead, flicked out text from his finger which hung large above the stage like subtitles for those literate enough to read directly from the Mage himself.

Keblar stood next to his master and read out the words for those among the gathering crowd who could not read, which was most. Keblar’s half elven voice droned on with a nasal tinge.

“Peasants. I grow impatient of my need of more wondrous items from the Helrock dungeon. As such, I have researched a better entrance to the dungeon upon Hel’s Rock. The nearby moon pool has been adjusted, with but a gallon or so of Keblar’s elf blood, to teleport directly into the dungeon proper, thus avoiding the snowy wastes upon it entirely. You may thank me this boon by proceeding post haste to said dungeon and retrieving an item I wish, two globs of PRIMEVELL CLAY. I offer 10,000 GP if this is placed in my hand.

As this is to be found on LEVEL 3 of the dungeon, I will provide further boon. If you are a Magic User who has trained with me or my people in the past, you may borrow my Wand of Magic Missiles for THIS particular mission. If you are a new Magic User who I know and have not trained with me or mine, you may still borrow it, but Tootchland gets an adventurers cut of any treasure brought from Helrock in such a case. It is to be returned to me between delves. If you borrow this item on false pretenses I will know. And I will be very perturbed.

Good luck to all of you. Let not the blood of your former comrades weigh heavily on your mind. For it does not mine.”

Editor's Note: The PCs were getting a bit tired of the lethality of "The Hel Delvers", which is the Adventure Tier (or dungeon delve) portion of UMBROS. Sessions are played weekly and up until recently they were DMed by the most lethal BROSR DM in history: Dunder Moose! He's taking a break from DMing but you can check out his session reports to see just how many hapless level 1 PCs he killed on his mission to do DM Jeffro Johnson proud for proving that "PCs deserve less". In any case, I decided that PCs deserve... something... so I created this news story, and worked with the new DM to give PCs a bit of any easier path into the Megadungeon of Helrock and determined that Tootch the Archmage would help them a bit more to survive. We'll see how it goes and if the PCs will brave the megadungeon now that I've put training wheels on it.

05/26/26

Songs from the Sunless Shore

Songs sing from the waves which lap upon the sunless shore,
That Coralynth and her mermaids are thusly on the board.
Her good heart shines like the Core most shimmery,
But will she work with the Good aligned or keep hidden in mystery?

05/27/26

A Storm is Here

Adventurers were seen leaving Firsthaven in search of the missing ranger Brokkar, whose last known whereabouts were somewhere to the southwest of the city. Some say only Prince Ronan returned.

Witnesses as far away as Tootch’s Tower observed many different sights: a lightning storm, a rain of frogs, rivers running with blood, the inner world itself rumbling, and a huge sphere arcing fire out into the sky.

None can say for certain what happened, but none of these visions bode well for humanity in this dark time.

Editor's Note: This is the news report one player came up with for the Party's TPK this week. This may help explain why the Adventuring Players had the sads about campaign difficulty this week.

05/28/26

The Human Wizard who has been hanging around Tootchville these last few weeks has been seen taking evening walks throughout town these last few days. Yes, it has been a slow news day.

05/29/26

The Caravan Sees Trouble

The fog hung heavily over the Dawnspire Mountains as Hibobu’s merchant caravan departed from Goldhold with a shipment of weapons and ale bound for Firsthaven. Yet the distant clangs and rumbles of heavy machinery and the din of gruff voices shouting to each other could clearly be heard.

For just a moment, the light of the Homestone pierced the fog and the merchants glimpsed a warband of over two dozen moving along the craggy paths, pushing two ballistas over the rough terrain.

05/29/26

Firsthaven Besieged

The citizens of Firsthaven woke, rubbed their eyes, and thanked the Home Stone for another morning.

Then a shadow passed overhead.

They rushed to their windows and looked out to see a terrible sight. Ferigno and his army of vinelings were parked outside the city. Anyone wanting to get in or out of Firsthaven would need to get through the Great Wyrm first.

05/29/26

The Tiger Jockeys Make Themselves Known

The little dark skinned tiger jockeys caught some trouble in a Firsthaven pub until they made it clear that they were now under the protection of the Guild Master, not to mention their unruly mounts.

A lesson was learned in that tavern, though likely not the one intended.

05/30/26

Brokkar’s Dream of Glass

Brokkar’s face echoes from your dreams of glass. He breaks from the echoes into somber silence, the bloody implement clasped tight in his fist. Before him lies the sacrificial altar, the terrible cult arrayed around it. At their center, smiling with sadistic glee, is the Helpriest, Brokkar’s torturer.

He utters a single command.

“Come.”

All of Brokkar’s muscles relax. His mind and heart scream, but the body does not obey. Step by step he follows the finger of the Helpriest. First to be examined, then to the altar.

Above, at the center of the whirling clouds, is a single object. It appears as a stone in the sky, yet silver and white, gentle in its light.

Is it the sister of the Home Stone?

The implement drops to the ground with a small clatter as voices begin to rise. Brokkar’s mind reels, nausea sets in, the etchings across his body begin to flare with blue light, and a curved black dagger is raised.

Then it plunges.

Then darkness.

Edtior's Note: Brokkar was one of the Adventurers who died in the TPK. He wrote this cool little piece to me about it (while the other PCs just messaged me with "X is Dead") so I thought it deserved a spotlight, even though spotlight's ain't nothing but jive.

05/31/26

A Sailor Was Overheard in a Dockside Tavern

“I know what I saw. Them humans skulking on the beach was hunting for treasure, plain as day. One of ’em held a map while another was counting out the steps. Only, I saw ’em leave the beach, and then upon my return, there they were on a second beach further up the coast.

If only we could get a boat and some shovels...”

05/31/26

The Merchants Return

The merchants of the caravan bringing the second shipment of iron and silver weaponry from Goldhold to Hibobu returned to Goldhold looking much worse for wear.

They reported a warband of brigand orcs in the Dawnspire Mountains inhabiting an ancient ruined fort, from which they narrowly escaped.

06/01/26

The Second Stone

Swirling clouds gathered in the Dawnlands west of Firsthaven. In the deepest darkness, long after the Home Stone’s light faded, the sky broke apart and a thunderous shatter echoed for miles.

A circle of silver light soon appeared, as if an otherworldly beam cast its blessing upon all that basked in it.

The clouds soon widened to reveal an immense circular stone. A sister to the Home Stone? A sign of Hel’s dominion? An omen of war?

Observer accounts vary.

Some say they saw the face of Hel herself. Others saw a strange box of black and gold. Others still claimed to see their lost brethren and fallen heroes.

Hours later, the Home Stone’s glow returned, its soft light a small comfort as the dark clouds remained.

06/01/26

Hibobu Walks the City

Hibobu was observed moving about the city and visiting the palace more than usual. Lately he walks with Captain Shulgi and his ten Elite guards. All seem nervous and on their guard.

06/01/26

Statement from Goldhold

A letter was sent from Goldhold to Tootchville and Firsthaven:

“Orcs in the Dawnspire Mountains are disrupting trade. Pressing matters prevent Goldhold from taking military action in response. Goldhold seeks able bodied adventurers to locate and defeat the orcs.

1500 GP reward for the head of the orc chief and recovery of stolen goods, as well as admittance into Goldhold.

Cog Nostril need not apply.”

06/01/26

Hildaga Enjoys Herself

Seemingly unconcerned about events, Hildaga (Hibobu’s girl Friday), was seen buying new shoes and then treating her “girls” to a fine meal.

They were later seen tipsy and dancing in a pub.

Editor's Note: Civilization may tremble. Hildaga, apparently, does not.

06/01/26

Cain Awakened

The presence of monstrous activity awakened Cain from his meditative slumber in Firsthaven.

Cain was heard in fervent Norse prayer, sounding as if he were sending out a call:

“Ahl fah thir, ek bith thess aht thoo vay tir mair bloh tahn aht ay tha skree pum ee nahf nee thee noo.”

After some time, electricity sparked along the sides of the stronghold, and another booming, otherworldly voice was heard speaking Norse in response:

“Ek geff thair reh yin koon nah uhnd ahr hleeff.”

As electricity continued to arc up and down the perimeter of the stronghold, Cain was heard preparing a myriad of blessings and spells.

One witness at the scene claimed:

“I was just standing there minding my own business when I heard Cain’s wild voice sounding like a thunderstorm. I heard him saying something about preparing a Heroes’ Feast. I had no idea that dude could even cook.”

Editor's Note: I bullied this player into taking some action since he has been nonresponsive for weeks now. Bullying works, kids.

Closing Note

So ends this week in UMBROS.

Firsthaven is besieged. Tootch wants his clay. Moriva the undying is back. A second stone hangs in rumor and nightmare above the world. Cain has stirred, and when Cain stirs, wise men stop laughing.

Next week, we will see which rumors become quests, if Ferigno's Siege of Firsthaven continues (or is broken by bold men of Good!), and which adventurers decide that 10,000 gold pieces is worth walking into Hel’s basement with a borrowed wand and a prayer.

The "Winning Secrets" to having a D&D Campaign with Wargaming

Introduction

For years, perhaps decades, a certain refrain has echoed through the halls of the Dungeons and Dragons and tabletop RPG world: “D&D is a wargame.” The claim is correct, though seldom understood. D&D is indeed a wargame, yet in practice its players will rarely engage in any genuine wargame unless Braunstein principles are brought to bear.

A Braunstein is a game mode in which “there are multiple independent actors operating in (potential) conflict under a fog of war” (Credit: Griff Morgan and Jeffro Johnson). The game mode itself was first tried by David Wesely back in the dark old days before his game inspired Gygax and Arneson to create D&D. 

All of that, however, lies in the past. What concerns us here is the present and future of Real D&D play. More precisely, how you, yes you, may employ the Braunstein approach to run campaigns that keep your players engaged and playing actual games, including wargame battles, at your real or virtual tabletop.

The BROSR has been experimenting with the Braunstein form for about three or four years now. A great deal of real and digital ink has been spilled about the Braunstein form by the BROSR and by Jeffro Johnson, its chief architect and interpreter, that Jeffro, myself (BDubs1776), and Rule of Thule have written an entire book called "Winning Secrets" on the subject.

But this work is not concerned with the recent history of the BROSR. Even since the book was written, new ideas have arisen that carry Braunstein play to a still higher form.

The new concepts in question are called Docketing (originally created by myself [BDubs1776]), GOSS (originally created by Doomstone Crom), and SEEN (originally created by DM Serious). To understand these concepts you will need to completely change the way you imagine a D&D campaign. 

Stop conceptualizing D&D in the conventional manner of four best friends getting together with their adventure party to tackle a series of challenges presented by their Forever DM pal. Start conceptualizing D&D as a Braunstein where those four Player Characters (PCs) may level into domains with competing and opposite interests. When the Paladin gains a Holy Empire and the Thief takes over a thieves guild, those characters will necessarily work at odds. Braunstein play helps you play and adjudicate this competition.

You may say “I don’t like PVP” or “my PC always cooperates with the other PCs”. But, if you refuse to pursue the interests of your PC simply because it will bring him into conflict with another PC, you are not Roleplaying. 

Recently in my campaign of UMBROS, based on my free module set in the primeval world of Edgar Rice Burroughs’ “Hollow Earth” setting, there was a massive wargame that resulted directly from Real D&D (meaning Braunstein) play. You can download a FREE PDF COPY of UMBROS here. I will describe how that happened and how I adjudicated it, how co-DMs ran it, and how the Players played it. But first, I need to explain these esoteric terms. To initiate you into the greatness of BROSR thought.

Docketing

Let’s start with Docketing. When you run a Real Braunstein style D&D campaign, players will begin to work at odds. Sometimes this happens naturally. Other times the DM deliberately constructs the campaign world, as I did, with high level faction leaders run by real players who begin play already at odds.

They will often “send out armies, agents, or schemes that inevitably collide with one another in Convergence. Resolving these conflicts instantly at the main table (or over private message) often reduces them to a coin flip or a single die roll, draining away the very drama that makes Braunstein style play exciting. Docketing is the referee’s remedy: a way to log these clashes so they can be played out later as a full wargame, skirmish, or role-played confrontation. By docketing, the referee preserves momentum at the campaign level while ensuring that no faction’s or PC’s moves are trivialized. 

To do this the Referee creates a sort of Scenario Sheet based on the Downtime Orders (or in Session results) he receives. It will list the Faction, the troops and officers involved, the date in the game world when the actual Wargame Battle is to happen, and any special stipulations for the Wargame Battle.

Then, not only can the Referee or a Co-Referee oversee the Wargame Battle; the Battle itself can have any person play any side of the conflict! The actual Players of those Factions or PCs or whatever do NOT need to be the one(s) who show up to play out the scenario.

The penalty to the original Players in this case could be you simply having their forces quagmired in some way until such time that the Battle is played out.

Lastly, you are not required to only Docket battles due to Downtime Orders. You, as the Referee, can choose to Docket a battle decided upon due to Session Play or actions during a [...] Session Braunstein. You also do not need to Docket wargame battles, only. You can Docket skirmish fights or even roleplay style meetings between PCs or Faction leaders. As you explore and use Docketing, more ways of using it than even I imagined will occur to you!” (UMBROS page 69)

If you are a tabletop gamer with red blood in your veins, this will all sound very exciting. But, real Braunstein Style D&D play had a major problem of the Fog of War part of the Braunstein being so thick that no one even knew enough of what was going on around the game world to react to it.

GOSS

To pierce the fog of war without drowning the game in complex subsystems, Doomstone Crom introduced a brilliant method called GOSS. I described it in UMBROS as follows:

“Rather than relying on difficult sub-systems like those found in other Fantasy Adventure Games

produced recently, GOSS focuses on a simple resolution method of one dice roll for each major

action taken. All the Referee needs to do is gather all the Downtime Orders or even in Session Orders the various PCs and Faction Leaders take then make a single check for each [action then create a campaign news report for that action].” (UMBROS page 72)

For the UMBROS approach to GOSS you roll an eight sided die for each action a PC or Faction Leader (or whatever) takes in your game world. Then report the actions into a news channel on your discord server (or verbally if you’re playing in person) for each game world turn. Here are the possible results which will inform the DM’s news report:

    1 Public Knowledge

    2 to 3 Target’s Secret

    4 to 5 False Rumor

    6 to 7 Hidden Action

    8 Deception and Framing

“I need not elaborate on how every roll can create the possibility of exciting Convergences.

The Referee will need to use his best judgement to avoid absurdity with GOSS. A massive army

marching outside the city’s gates can’t be a Hidden Action. An assassination attempt which is played out and rolled with the best possible result for the assassin shouldn’t become Public Knowledge. And Players successfully Spying from the Rules as Written should be able to see through False Rumors or Deception and Framing. Yet, with GOSS, the Referee has a powerful tool to assure his Braunstein style campaign simmers with excitement and occasionally explodes with action; whether his players are trying to hide from each other or not!” (UMBROS page 73)

The GOSS method seemed revolutionary at the time I wrote UMBROS. But it has two problems which every real DM will contend with:

1. The DM will need to be very creative very frequently with his GOSS generated news reports.

2. There may be less player buy in since the DM will be creating much of the world and news.

Both of these problems are addressed with SEEN.

SEEN

Created by DM Serious for his Drakonheim campaign in 2025, SEEN is an incredible, and deceptively simple, evolution of GOSS. With SEEN you run GOSS as normal, but instead of the DM writing the news report, the Player is tasked with doing so. Additionally, to help prevent the Player from “turtling” to avoid conflict: the action the Player took does not truly occur until it is SEEN.

A small change, no? Yet this small change produces remarkable results.

First, the DM is no longer the sole arbiter of the world’s narrative when it comes to inventing engaging or “fair” news stories.

Second, players who are tasked with writing news reports about their own actions develop far greater investment in the game world. They begin to relish opportunities for psyops when they are given results such as “False Rumor” or “Deception and Framing.”

Soon players begin to consider their actions carefully, knowing that whatever they attempt may eventually be SEEN.

Most importantly, when GOSS and SEEN operate in tandem, the result is transformative. A game changer. A gameworld changer.

And I have a simple scenario from a real UMBROS Braunstein campaign to prove it.

The Battle of the Three Armies

I serve as the Referee who adjudicates the downtime orders in an ongoing UMBROS campaign.

Back in February, Ferigno the Green Dragon sent me a Downtime Order declaring that he would infiltrate the vault of Dwarf Lord Cointhrall and poison the dwarves’ water supply. GOSS determined that Ferigno did not get away with this without being SEEN. When I informed Ferigno that he had been discovered during his operation, he fled the vault, his Dragon Fear ability scattering nearly all of the dwarves present and preventing them from mounting a serious attack.

However, the GOSS roll for the event came up “False Rumor.” Because of this, I allowed Cointhrall to compose the SEEN post describing what the world would hear about the incident. He provided the following report which implied Ferigno had be severely injured:

“Ferigno was driven out of his surprise attack on Goldhall by the staunch dwarven defenders. Several witnesses attest that blood poured from a massive gash along the dragon’s flank. Three great cheers for Cointhrall as he addressed his sons, his enchanted blade still smoking with the green beast’s black blood. “Let it be known that once Ferigno drove us from our halls, but never again! The King has returned to his throne, and it’ll take more than that to remove him!” Many oaths of vengeance for the trespass into the dwarves’ hallowed halls follow, promising to finish off Ferigno once and for all!”

During the week of 03/10/2026, I received the following orders (paraphrased):

• Ferigno the Green dragon ordered that he and his vineling horde would fly south towards the wizard tower owned by Tootch the Archmage. He would cross over the Dawnlands to get there.

• Cointhrall the Dwarven Lord ordered he would be marching like 100 dwarves out into the center of the Dawnlands to meet up with Hibobu the Merchant’s army. They’d then proceed to Ferigno’s lair and attack Ferigno.

• Hibobu the Merchant would take his thag riders and his elite guard to meet with Cointhrall in the center of the Dawnlands. He’d then march with Cointhrall on Ferigno’s lair and attack Ferigno.

I suspect Hibobu chose to join Cointhrall in this venture because he believed Ferigno had been badly wounded, thanks to the previous SEEN report.

When I reviewed the incoming orders it quickly became clear that a mass combat wargame battle was inevitable. Based on travel speeds, I determined that Ferigno would encounter the allied forces of Cointhrall and Hibobu in the center of the Dawnlands. That is where the battle would occur.

Accordingly, I created a Docket with the following summary:

“Ferigno, while flying south from the Glarewood towards the Purple Hills, came across a group of dwarves from Cointhrall's vault. They were mustering at this location with Hibobu and some of his contingent. Ferigno begins battle on ground being lazy as he was becoming bored and tired of waiting on his "infantry" who are so much slower than him. Ferigno should have limited time to prep 4 battle as, due to his frustration with his infantry's slow pace, he was pondering a nap. He's not fully surprised but he did not see the other army coming from far off.”

I provided Orders of Battle with one army being Ferigno and about 70 vinelings. The other army being Cointhrall, about 100 dwarves, 2 ballistae, Hibobu and his “Shiny Gaurd” of elite fighters and 10 Elite Thag Riders. Thags are like giant dinosaur bull things that are used as draft and war mounts in UMBROS.

I had the following Special Instructions: “Ferigno values his vinelings but he will not lose his life for them. Will flee if takes half HP damage. Hibobu is a Thief/Merchant so he will hide if he takes any damage or is targeted with missile attacks.”

I circulated the Docket among players in the UMBROS Discord server, as well as a few other servers, with the instruction that the wargame battle would require a Referee to run it. I did not volunteer for the role.

Around 03/08/26 the battle was played out. The players representing Ferigno, Cointhrall, and Hibobu recruited a Referee who goes by the Discord name Luko Lionheart. Keep in mind it is not necessary for the Players who sent the Downtime Orders (and normally play those faction leaders) to be the ones to play out the wargame battle itself. We can assume the threat of having their forces quagmired inspired them to move quickly to recruit Luko to Referee.

After the game, Luko sent me the results on 03/09/2026, including a round by round breakdown of orders and outcomes, along with the final troop losses.

I rolled GOSS to determine how news of the event would spread and received “Public Knowledge.” So I composed a report for the UMBROS News Network channel. I chose not to assign a SEEN post to any player in this case, since it made more sense for me to condense the lengthy battle report Luko provided.

The UMBROS News Network carried the following account:

“Across the domains of Umbros word spreads of a mighty clash in the Dawnlands. Ferigno the Green Dragon met Cointhrall, Dwarf Lord of Goldhold, in open battle and the field ran red before the day was done. Both rulers marched with large hosts. The Gem Sons of Goldhold came ready with engines and axes to bring down the ancient wyrm. Ferigno answered with ranks of vinelings eager to bind and crush their foes beneath living vines and brambles. 

A third power was present as well. Hibbobu marched from the south with disciplined footmen, and powerful thag riders; joining his strength with the dwarves as their forces advanced north to meet the dragon. 

Ferigno was the first to act. Though the dragon is often accused of indolence he moved with sudden purpose, twisting through the sky while dwarf ballistae hurled bolts toward him. His clumsy flight maneuverability did not allow him to essentially teleport across the field like so many lesser game systems. Thank you 1e! He instead picked up speed towards the Dwarven ranks. 

On the ground the battle unfolded in violent strokes. Thag riders burst from cover and thundered toward the vineling left flank. Hibbobu's footmen pushed forward to strengthen the dwarven formation while the Stonegard prepared their charge.

When the thags crashed into the vinelings the slaughter was immediate. Tusks tore through vines and brambles and dozens of the plant creatures fell beneath the assault while the thags bellowed to the curved skies. At the same moment the Stonegard surged forward and smashed another host of vinelings into ruin.

For a brief moment the field rang with dwarf victory cries.

Then Ferigno arrived.

The dragon closed the distance in a single terrible rush and loosed a torrent of burning acid across the field. Lord Cointhrall and the warriors beside him were engulfed in the corrosive storm and fell where they stood. Shock rippled through the dwarven ranks as word spread that their lord had been slain. The line faltered and began a hard fighting withdrawal. Even the dwarf ballistae crews abandoned their engines in the chaos.

Seeing the field broken Ferigno turned his wings northward, content to leave the shattered vinelings to whatever fate awaited them. Yet before the dragon could escape the dwarf hero known as F4 seized Cointhrall's Dragonslayer sword. With grim resolve he bound the blade to a ballista bolt and drew back the great engine for one desperate shot.

The field fell silent.

F4 released the bolt.

It screamed through the air toward the retreating wyrm and missed its mark.

Ferigno's laughter echoed across the Dawnlands as he vanished into the northern sky, satisfied that at last his ancient enemy Lord Cointhrall lay dead upon the field. The survivors of the battle scattered, and the tale of the three armies now travels from hall to hall throughout Umbros.”

Conclusion

Whether their PCs were first level dungeon delvers venturing forth under DM Dunder Moose, faction leaders participating in the occasional Braunstein session with DM Gelatinous Rube, or simply men submitting downtime orders to me, the players were astonished and excited by what this event might mean for UMBROS.

None of it would have been possible without Docketing. It would not have come together without GOSS. And it would scarcely have mattered to anyone beyond the immediate participants without SEEN.

Together these methods of running a REAL D&D campaign have produced something rare: a Braunstein style fantasy world that lives, moves, and rewards those bold enough to adventure within it.

Will you try it or will you keep playing in conventional (meaning boring) D&D games?

Your D&D Players are Terrible (BROmerican Championship Final!

Introduction

Your D&D and TTRPG players are, on the whole, simply terrible. Let us count the ways:

1. Obsessed with Individual Initiative so they can control each step of their boring PC's dumb actions (when they deem to put their smartphone down for their turn)

2. Approach D&D as a videogame loot and XP treadmill so don't even roleplay beyond excising their middle school era power fantasies.

3. Crunch Doritos too loudly. 

4. Whine when you rule against them.

5. Scared of their shadow in such a way they demand the DM dispel all Fog of War with their 20 questions.

6. Powergame in a way that flattens the game; having them "win" in the most boring way possible.

7. Don't read. The rulebook. The foundational fiction of Gygax's DMG Appendix N. Your texts to schedule the next session. They don't read!

It's honestly exhausting. When you review the truth of the above list you wonder how TTRPGs and D&D could have lasted as a game/hobby for over 40 years. Perhaps it was simply terrible birds of a feather flocking together. Or simply inertia of geeks continuing to do what they've always done. Or perhaps you, the DM, are just as terrible as them? 3

Perhaps you were but are trying to improve. If you're reading this blog and following the #BROSR, #BROXT, and the BROmerican Championship Tournament; you are definitely trying to improve your DMing. I thank you for being here and I thank you for trying to improve the hobby by looking in the mirror with how you can run a better, Real D&D campaign.

But your players are likely bucking up against you. They're whining your more Old School Game is too lethal. Or they'd rather just keep playing 5e than try something different (better) like 1e. Or they're pixel-complaining each of your Rulings as you struggle to run a better game.

Or, like Scutifer Mike's player in his AAR entry in the FINAL CHAMPIONSHIP ROUND of the BROmerican Championship Tournament, your player's would rather just play Get-Along-Gang TTRPGs with no stakes.

Or, like Obsessor in his AAR entry this week, you have a player who is so intent on "Winning" he's lost the plot on what Braunstein play is all about. Of what roleplaying is all about. 

So, as you can see, you're not alone! All who strive for greatness are pulled down by those around them. Worst is when it's your friends! How can you possibly run a Real D&D game if your own D&D Friends don't even want it? You need to check out both BROmerican Championship Contendors' blogs this week; to find out. Both Obsessor and Scutifer Mike will show you how to keep your cool and cold like ol' Job.

Championship Matchup

Obsessor (3) vs Scutifer Mike (5)

It's all come down to this. The better of these two After Action Reports (AAR) will become the BROmerican Champion and Title Holder. 

We will start with Obsessor's AAR which is titled "Convergence at Frog Temple". The other Bookers loved this session report. Robert "The Heel" Stephens said it "shows how easily anyone can run a Braunstein and that they don't have to put alot of time to prep for it". Very true. While reading this report it seems like much of the prep went towards putting a bunch of junk terrain features on Obsessor's table that PCs could navigate around during their long form PVP combat.

It also seemed like Obsessor's attention was needed in addressing his less than elite player who created the "powergamey" flying druid(s?) faction. Obsessor said "I pushed [the player] for justification [of] flying swords [which] are one of the strongest options available". Sadly when you let your players create all the Braunstein factions themselves, you'll probably need to argue with one or more of them to not be terrible.

As we discussed in my last blog and on the Dunder Moose Podcast, having ELITE players who know Appendix N, much of this can be avoided.

Even so, Booker Dunder Moose said Obsessor's AAR "knocked it out of the PARK! Put on an absolute clinic for the outsiders. Fun to read. Cutting edge with the 'goals aren't necessary' push". I mostly agree.

Obsessor didn't come to his Braunstein setup and prep with goals but he did let his players create them prior to the game so, I guess, he could score them to determine a winner. When I say that Braunstein's should have NO GOALS I mean it just that way. Players don't need to outline their goals in their character (faction?) generation. Much of Obsessor's "Setup" section of his AAR is given to analyzing if the Players made good pre-game goals for themselves.

Meanwhile, I still don't know what Chaz's goal is for the #BROXER "Type 2" Braunstein that is kicking off in 3 days!

Anyway, Obsessor goes on to describe how the four factions of his four Braunsteiners got into a big schmoz in a temple environment. If you want to see how an expert DM like Obsessor handles less than elite (read: terrible) players: Note how he allowed the other Players to take missile shots a the goofy powergamer "Cloud" dude who wanted to fly around and hide in clouds the entire Braunstein (ZZZZZZZZZ!)

Glad that guy LOST. Check out the AAR ASAP to see who won and how they did it!

Now let's analyze Scutifer Mike's AAR which is titled "We Burn Bright. They Burn Out". It starts strong by stating clearly "the BroXT have once again demonstrated that only they can handle anything beyond the superficial tabletop experience". So true!

Scutifer Mike quickly goes into his "Motherslop" AAR lamenting how, upon trying to run his own Type 2 Braunstein, he was immediately "met with resistance from a conventional player [who requested I] homebrew rules for ship building/upgrading [then deluged me with] Mother-May-I questions!"

What a disaster. Booker Bob Stephens said "CCP Scuti is correct about how players need correction when complaining and deserve less" and Booker Moose said "Scuti [is] really channeling Jeffro with the adherence to world over the gamers". 

Read this session report if you want to understand how CCP Scuti kept his cool with his terrible player and, after bringing in the BROXT Superstars, was able to get his Braunstein on track. It's hilarious and helpful.

But which of these men delivered the best AAR report this week? Booker Bob Stephens and Booker Moose said... Obsessor!

Well that seems to wrap it up right? Two votes for Obsessor of the three Bookers for the BROXT and the BROmerican Championship tournament. 

So congratulations are in order for...

WAIT. I'm the Head Booker! Know your role and shut your mouth. I deem SCUTIFER MIKE  the winner of the BROmerican Championship Tournament.

For me, Obsessor's AAR made a major error in being overly long but, worse, overly long with COMBAT DETAILS! This didn't come off like a Braunstein to me. It came off like a boardgame which I recently dumped on during my Dundercast! 

Obsessor had some great thoughts but the "outsiders" Moose thinks may come to Braunstein play thanks to this AAR would have been run off by all the detailed explanation of combat. Did Obsessor Braunsteiners ever even talk to eachother? Or did they just fight? This seems more like what Jeffro believed the Battle Braunstein would be (and wasn't) than what we now know a Braunstein is. 

Scutifer Mike, on the other hand, kept his AAR pithy and got to the hits. He explained why his findings were important, analyzed them, was funny, and "went home". Obsessor had a 4 star match but Scutifer Mike brought a 4.5 star performance.

Also, Scutifer Mike wired me some CCP CASH DIRECTLY TO MY ACCOUNT. HAHAHA it was me Obsessor, it was me all along! Authority Figure BDubs runs the BROXT how he sees fit. Maybe if you get out your checkbook you'll get a rematch with CCP MIKE for BROasian Belt!

Until then, congrats to Mike for a fine performance during this tournament. I expect a workhorse champion and more Chipotle Bucks coming in right away. Booker Moose, eat your heart out. Because you're not getting another Burrito Bowl!

Braunstein is the Talk of the Town (BROmerican Championship Tournament Round 3)

Introduction

BROZER is the talk of the town... again!

If you blinked, you might have missed it. I went onto the "This is Dunder Moose" podcast this week for a very serious and important interview where I realized something very incredible indeed. Normal gamers are extremely interested in running Braunsteins. Finally! The chat was wild with questions asking things like "this type of game sounds incredible, how could I possibly run this?" The answer from myself, Dunderrizz, and the other Christian Gentlemen in the chat: "Just read/run BROZER". 

Wow!

When I went onto the Alexander Macris's "Arbiter of Spreadsheets" podcast some months back basically no one in the chat cared about running Braunsteins. As a customer base concerned primarily with Conventional Style D&D (read: fake, broke and dumb D&D) they had little interest in running or playing in Real D&D (read: Braunstein style D&D). So, the chat was so barren of requests for advice, despite my promise at the start of the show to help them "Braunstein their Campaign", Macris had to resort to asking me to turn the Minecraft Movie into a Braunstein!

What a shameful indictment on the state of Conventional D&D customers. I am unable to call them "Conventional D&D Players" as I find it unlikely they have D&D campaigns at all.

The takeaway is what I predicted years back. Conventional D&D is dead on the vine. The OSR is over as a gaming group. They are barely hanging on as a group of whales throwing cash to their e-friends like Macris (who is a good guy and does deserve it so

RIP to my brother in Christ, brother.

go give him money). They are barely hanging on as a group of simps throwing cash at erstwhile TTRPG e-girls who push warmed over BROSR talking points or who sell warmed over OSR retroclones whose only redeeming quality is ripping off myself or Jeffro's most public ideas like 1:1 Jeffrogaxian Time or Braunstein play. Stop simping!

H4zbro D&D, on the other hand, will never die as a product. While its players may be banned from approaching school zones, they still haunt various basements RPing as gendergoblins saving the kingdom from patriarchy, fascism, and personal hygiene; H4zbro D&D is now a "lifestyle brand" for degenerates whose lifestyle would shock and disgust their grandparents. The OSR, no longer a group of people playing actual games, is left joining the h4zbro gender brigade and pretending they're still the cool kids slumming it with weirdos. One imagines them dusting off and donning their black trench coat from their high school days.

Then you have the BROSR and the BROXT. What sets us apart from the H4zbro Crew, besides proper hygiene, striking good looks and social skills, is we ACTUALLY PLAY GAMES.

What keeps the BROXT playing games is... the Total Nonstop Braunstein. And, thanks to BROZER, people are starting to notice.

The Dundermoose chat, and the online discussion lately, is no longer full of angry weirdos. The friction is gone. It's been replaced by curiosity. Regular men see other regular men having fun and we can tell them about the FREE module we made to go have the same kind of fun.

BROZER owns the conceptual space. "Just go play BROZER" is a killshot the gendergoblins are unable to dodge. They may continue to scream in protest but no one cares any longer.

This week the BROmerican Tournament for After Action Reports (AAR) has BROXT Superstars applying the lessons from Jeffro's BROZER essays. We see these men playing and analyzing Braunsteins that use Type I, Type II, and Type III this week! Jeffro's brilliance of defining the various approaches to Braunsteining is thus cemented. Regular gamers now realize this and can say #ThankYouJeffro for this easy shorthand.

They can thank the BROXT for pushing the envelope and, when all who are reading this are playing TOTAL NONSTOP BRAUNSTEIN this time next year, you can come back and reply to this blog with "Thank you, BROXT".

You're welcome.

Matchups

Obsessor (3) vs Hoot Owl (10)

With only two matches this week I tapped the other BROXT Bookers, Dunder Moose and Bob "The Heel" Stephens for thoughts on the matchups. We all agreed that this matchup had the weakest two of the four entries. The Bookers said things like "have them both lose, somehow", "just make it a Fatal Four Way and they are eliminated", or "Hi I'm Dundermoose and you can bribe me with Ch1potle".

I said, nah nah! While I agree that Obsessor and Hoot Owl didn't step up to the level of Josh and Scutifer Mike in their matchup, I think both of these men gave a nice mid card match for THE PEOPLE. I will not gaga them out of their contest or DQ them from a proper winner being named.

Hoot decided, this week, to give us a blast from the long lost past; analyzing his involvement in and old 1e AD&D style Tournament Module. One of the Living Urf Gaming Club DMs decided to run a bespoke adventure for 3 different parties and see who scored the most. This proves the BROXT is remaking the Lake Geneva culture that Gary and Co took for granted.

Hoot's blog, titled "A lost part of the Hobby Revived!" is marred with giving too much step by step information on exactly what the party did, the contents of each room, the tactics they used. What this entry needs is more information on the mindset of the players and why they made this or that choice. How this Tournament approach changed or impacted how they were playing D&D. Dundermoose said he liked "the ending and [how it upholds] the Clubhouse ethic". Here's a bit of that ending:

"It was a fun evening and the pressure of not only trying to complete all the goals, but also explore the dungeon and find as much loot in 3 hours was a great challenge and I totally understand now why this was such a common thing at Gaming Conventions in the first decade of the Hobby. It really does push you to the limit of your abilities as a gamer[.]"

Running a tournament like at OG GenCon (before the degenerates and girlgamers ruined it) may not seem like a Braunstein to you, but you could easily do something like this and roll the results back into your ongoing D&D Campaign. Hoot hints at this DM intended to do just that but some more elaboration or contemplation about that would have gained Hoot at least half a star, in my book.

Obsessor comes to us this week with an AAR intriguingly titled "King For A Day". In this he too gives us a blast from the past, but this time the BROSR past of "Always On" style TYPE III play.

Obsessor regails with his tale of running a Legacy BROSR Style Patron. It's very cool hearing how Obsessor justifies or analyzes the decisions he makes to annoy and gadfly the PCS; or work with them as best he can get away with as his Patron "Selwyn". Anyone who ran a BROSR Patron from 2020 to around 2023 can relate to most of the thoughts in this blog. I advise all to take a look at this as the best AAR of Patron Play ever delivered; since so few were ever made! BROXT somehow charting new ground even when using older mustier BROSR methods. His conclusion is a banger:

"What really sticks out to me is the bittersweet tragedy of Selwyn’s rise and fall. This was such an impactful arc for me because I really did care. I wasn’t just playing a part, I “got into character”, I was there, I was him, he was I. There may be bias in this report, as I’m sure the players would tell you, but how can I help it? I feel it. Selwyn dared to step beyond his narrow walls, dared to make his vision real, dared to REACH for greatness! And he was VILIFIED for it! For daring! For trying! For willing!"

How can you not want to try and do a Type III Braunstein or play a Faction Leader in same after reading that? The BROXT are better theater kids than the theater kids; all thanks to the Braunstein!

Despite Obsessor's AAR not being perfect, I give it the victory over Hoot. We celebrate Hoot Owl shocking the world to get this far but he'll need to lift hard and come back for the next challenge if he hopes to hold gold in the BROXT. Can Obsessor go the distance?

Winner: Obsessor

Joshua (1) vs Scutifer Mike (5)

This matchup is obviously the Main Event this week. The Bookers were split on their decision of who won this but of the 3 judges, one of these gentlemen got two votes. So there will be NO DQ. One will be eliminated and one will go on to face Obsessor next week!

We'll start with Scutifer Mike who shows up with his blog titled "I Have Such Sights To Show You". Bob "The Heel" Stephens says "China Mike had an excellent report [that is] a great example on how Total Nonstop Braunstein (TNB) can work to encourage PVP". I agree completely. Mike explains his frustration with "two conventional players at my table who try at every opportunity to drag the others into 'main character/spotlight play'" and goes on to explain how TNB style PVP can help fix this awful situation. Dunder Moose said he loved "the moment [in the blog] when [Scutifer Mike's] Getalong Gang of PCs who took all the NPCs for granted started to panic because of Patron moves!"

This element of panic was so common when I ran Dubzaron I had PCs who ragequit because I would hide which Faction leaders were NPCs and which were Player Controlled Patrons!

Scutifer Mike's blog not only has great ideas and gives fantastic advice, but it's fun to read. You really should check it out. Dundermoose voted it the better of the two blogs this week!

You should also check out Joshua's entry "Total Nonstop Braunstein - Know Your Role". Joshua is now proven as the second funniest blogger in the BROXT after myself. If you don't laugh reading this AAR about him playing as a 1e Ranger in the Bloodfall campaign, you have no sense of humor at all. Bob "The Heel" Stephens agrees that "the mad sh-t talking [on the AAR] was great".

I played in this session and much of the actual gaming analysis is about my Paladin play and my grade hit for not living up 100% to the Paladin ethos. I used a scheming plan rather than honor or boldness to which the DM gave me an S (for Superior) rather than E (for Excellent). Joshua has this to say:

"I have to say it was a very fair grade. It was a very creative plan and a great idea just when we needed it. But Paladins are held to a different standard than most classes and really should avoid such sneaky and underhanded plays, even if they are effective and needed. I am sure the player who played the Paladin agrees with me. I am confident in this because I know he is well versed in Appendix N and how alignment in 1e works."

I agree! BROXT proving that we earn a Superior grade over the OSR and 6e gendergoblins in that we use class grading and DON'T WHINE when it doesn't go our way.

Joshua goes on to explain why he agrees with our fantastic DM's grade by quoting from Poul Anderson's "Three Hearts and Three Lions"; proving that the BROXT is well read in the establishing fiction for Real D&D. If you haven't read "3H3L" I am certain your D&D Campaign or Play is terrible.

Both Bookers mentioned this quote and appreciating it. It is one reason that Bob "The Heel" Stephens voted Joshua the better of these two blogs this week.

So that leaves me as the tiebreaker, doesn't it?

I loved both of these AARs. As you can see above: I have nothing negative to say about either! Knowing exactly what Joshua was talking about, as I had played in that session and dealt with that issue THIS WEEK, made me truly enjoy the read. That said, Alignment Analysis is a slightly more well tread blog subject, losing Joshua a quarter star.

So, Scutifer Mike was the better AAR this week. He takes me back to a time when I was running Dubzaron and when Patrons were a new and shiny concept. The shock and fear from the PCs about Patrons was always palpable. It's one of the primary reasons the Braunstein form has taken off. We had caught lightning in a bottle with Patrons (now called Faction Leaders or similar) and seeing Scutifer Mike's PCs reactions was so much fun.

"All [the PCs'] hubris went out the window when they realized that these other players wouldn’t pull any punches, and all of a sudden, the Contessa crew grasped that they were NOT the main characters of the game. They’ve always known the other crews were out there, but they never had to deal with them before."

Obessor will need to deal with Scutifer Mike next week because, while Joshua's AAR dogwalked Hoot Owl and Obsessor this week, he was 1v1 with China Mike who shanghaied him out of nowhere.

Joshua will lift gold in the BROXT one day. But not this day. Like Bron Breakker, he's the future of this industry!

Good luck to Scutifer Mike and Obessor in the final round!

Winner: Scutifer Mike

Conclusion

Thanks for reading and check this blog around this time next week to see who wins the FINAL CHAMPIONSHIP ROUND of the prestigious BROMERICAN TOURNAMENT.