Thursday, February 2, 2023

Dubzaron Session 89: The Scales of Turas, Part 2

Participating PCs

Arya Sorrowsong (Lawful L3 Temple Bladedancer)[S]

Important new npc!
Billy (Lawful L6 Explorer, Pathfinder)[E]

Bluetooth (Neutral L1 Barbarian, Sea Rover)[E]

Elfis (Neutral L1 Elven Nightblade)[E]

Hakon (Neutral L3 Shaman Runecaster)[E]

Harrigan (Lawful L1 Thief, Tomb Raider)[E]

John Cabot (Lawful L1 Explorer Mariner)[E]

Lockstep (Lawful L1 Fighter, Guardsman)[E]

Paul Blart (Lawful L1 Fighter, Guardsman)[E]

Renert le Renard (Neutral L1 Thief, Tomb Raider)[E] 

Session Report

Since we did a strange pause thing last week the party started right in the middle of the action. They were at a weirding hothouse jungle of mushrooms and such inside a massive cave within the Dark Wall mountain range itself. Inside the cave they found the two players who "spawned" this week who were Paul Blart and Renert the Thief. Since this is #BROSR gaming their backstory and reasons for being deep inside a dungeon when the party finds them was both stupid and humorous. Blart was "on his rounds" and comically fell into a moon pool that teleported him here. Jokes about the Paul Blart movie began and didn't end for the whole session. Renert was delving the place with another party who got killed by jungle denizens and Renert was in the middle of his escape, "hey want another thief in your party". Done.

The party surveyed their view across the hothouse jungle in the massive cavern noting two towers; a glass one far off to the north and a slightly closer one to the northwesterly direction. This one looked like a pile of metal and such haphazardly tossed together. It seemed a bit closer to the party began their trek in that direction, sliding through and past weirding bushes, mushrooms and huge podded plants that defied designation. They skirted along the southern base of a tall hill with a shark fin shaped jagged stone at the top which I eventually named shark mountain. To their south they walked along a deep cliffside where a geyser of purple water was spraying now and then. During their travels they come upon 2 giant angry looking venus mantrap plans. The things could walk but very slowly. They charged as best they could at the party but due to having enough space to maneuver and good planning, the party backed up as a group before launching various missiles round after round. The slow angry plant monsters never got within melee range of the party despite both of them being very tough and taking many many arrows before falling. Some time later the party was attacked by 8 giant carniverous flies which raided into some of the back ranks of the party, scaring the hench mage Arya brought along before he could disengage from melee  and let the party finish it off. Besides that I think only one PC (Billy iirc) took a hit from the giant flies.  The combats actually took quite a while due to a large table (just look at those participating PCS!) and quite a few monsters I had to rule on their actions.

After almost two hours of game play and perhaps about 4 or 5 hours of adventuring the party found themselves at a 30' wide canyon the went off to their left and right as far as they could see. On the other side was the tower they were looking to find.

They traveled to the west and south until they came to the wall of the massive cavern itself where Harrigan the thief could climb along the wall itself to bridge the canyon. After that they strung up some sort of rope bridge thing which allowed the other party members to Climb as per a thief of their level to cross the canyon. Paul Blart rigged up some kind of safety line where, if a crosser fell, they would hopefully just hang by the safety line and not fall to their doom. There were jokes made that we would make an intelligence check vs Blart's INT which brought on alot of laughs. It did in fact happen once (I've forgotten the PC who fell) but Blart's rigging and Lockleaf's strength to pull him up save him from certain death. Blart also mentioned he crossed the rope on his dwarven built segway because why not, it's funny. I rolled random encounter checks as they were crossing in the hopes I would hit one while the party was split and really get them out of sorts by attacking them at half strength. But the dice were really on the party's side tonight. 

After crossing the canyon the party approached the tower of twisted and haphazardly laid out metal tower. 15 little dudes made out of sewed up dead skin with unexpressive porcelain masks came filing out of the tower to greet them. Greet them might not be the right word since the things didn't talk or express themselves in any way at all. They just stood with their faces turned sideways in confusion or questionning (perhaps). Lockstep had some CHA so tried to bribe and talk to them to no avail. He eventually got impatient and walked into the tower. This didn't seem to phase the little guys.

Inside the tower on the ground floor was a mad wizard named Jordan Peterson. Lockstep closed the distance with him to fizzle his spells, should he cast, but JBP was generally friendly. He told them a bit about the ancient zaharan city the laid beyond the jungle saying there were many factions.

He didn't seem to care about any of the factions except the Optics. He was actually on this plane to study the Optics since they can live forever in their weird chthonic way. He wants to figure it out for himself so he'll have more time to tell young men to clean their room. Wizard JBP seemed particularly powerful to the point of not showing any fear at all about so many well armed men in his tower. He also mentioned having hung out with the deity Turas at one point. Despite his getup he confirmed he was never a Batman villain. 

The party convinced him to let them stay the night in his tower and the party slept in the dungeon, breaking another BROSR code for which I'm sure I will be roundly mocked by the other DMs. The next day Harrigan had a pretty good map to the trapezoidal shaped building and cloning vat chamber JBP told them held the Scales of Turas which they were after. His tower had a big periscope/telescope thing that he used to keep an eye on the city from afar and study the Optics. He advised they never look at the Giant Eye on the far side of the city either with his telescope or otherwise.

The building was about an hour or so through the jungle to the north and into the city. They set off and sadly I rolled no random encounters during the travel. It was not my night. Once at the street there were buildings everywhere but Mapping and planning helped Harrigan and the party know which way to go and they opened a door made of dried mushrooms into a cloning chamber. It looked about how you would expect with glass vats like "Alien" lining the center. Wires everywhere along the side walls. On the far side of the room was the Scales of Turas under a glass globe which throbbed with electricity and sparks of lightning. The two thieves began to cross the room but some clones rose out of the cloning chambers like nosferatu.

The party was not surprised so the thieves were not surrounded or anything. Speaking in Zaharan, the Optic soldiers demanded to know if the party served the eye. Harrigan played it off like "oh yeah big time" long enough to make his way back into the party's marching order with the other thief. Combat began when the party essentially said "psych we don't serve the eye". The combat went generally in the party's favor and the thieves and nightblade tried to sneak across the room and cop the Scales during the combat but kept failing their Hide checks and, in Harrigan's case, tripping on some wires when he tried to sprint across the room to the scales. 

The sneaky plans turned out to not be necessary as the martial members of the party did well to put the Optic soldiers down with the help of the 15 ik (the name of the little porcelain mask dolls who work for JBP) the wizard had loaned them for this task. The things were easily killed wherein they exploded with confetti, beans, popcorn kernels, and Chucky Cheese tokens (I just made that up now). But despite their little size and tiny fists they did a solid job of finishing off Optic soldiers the party had injuring. "Stealing our Cleaves" as one PC noted.

Now back to the Scales of Turas. Harrigan lassoed a rope around the glass dome they were inside with the PC (not player because he was roleplaying his middling to low INT) hoping it wouldn't conduct electricity. Well thank you google machine because it confirmed rope conducts big time. Harrigan's balls were shocked off. No joke, that was the result on his Mortal Wounds table when Hakon the shaman tried to help him back up. He needed a day of rest, after magical healing before he could adventure in any real capacity so the party headed back to JBP Tower to sleep a day. This is when my shame begins. I not only allowed the party to rest in the dungeon again but "pause" the game here and, assuming irl disaster doesn't strike me next week, run these players in this dungeon again next week. They're going to revoke my BROSR card.

Class Grading Thoughts

Arya Sorrowsong (Lawful L3 Temple Bladedancer)[S] didn't use up her healing spells that I saw, saw S. Billy (Lawful L6 Explorer, Pathfinder)[E] was old and helped leading the party through weirding jungle so E. Bluetooth (Neutral L1 Barbarian, Sea Rover)[RAN BY OTHER PLAYER][E] was bold, didn't hold back. Elfis was cowardly and sneaky as a nightblade should be so E. Hakon (Neutral L3 Shaman Runecaster)[E] used all his healing spells as far as I could tell and played up shaman stuff like interest in flora and fauna. Harrigan (Lawful L1 Thief, Tomb Raider)[E] was quintessitial cowardly thief in battle and bold when shiny things were up for grabs. John Cabot (Lawful L1 Explorer Mariner)[E] was bold and rangery again. Lockstep (Lawful L1 Fighter, Guardsman)[E] held the front line like a boss, very bold so E. Paul Blart (Lawful L1 Fighter, Guardsman)[E] was bold staying in the front or second line every fight. Renert le Renard (Neutral L1 Thief, Tomb Raider)[E] was a coward (a good thing) and did his best to use sneaky approach.

DM Self Grade

 I handled things fine but failed to notice the little Ik dudes don't actually do any damage so why would JBP have sent them with the party for help? Maybe I should have pulled the rug on the party like "yeah he sent these to help but they actually suck lolol" but I changed midstream that he makes a very limited number of combat Ik but primarily helper Ik. Decent recovery so the Ik army doesn't take over the underground city led by the PCs but it was still a blunder. My ruling last session of ignoring (or not understanding) the Mountaineering proficiency led to mine needing to allow the rope bridge this session despite no one having the proficiency. I don't like to pull the rug out of players with rulings mid session and since this was essentially the second part of a single long session, my bad ruling on this led to another easier handling of a terrain difficulty for PCs. Also the safety line rigging should need Mountaineering (or maybe Seafaring, which we do have available!) but should also need a Dungeon Bashing check (or Lift Weight over your head check in 1e parlance) to pull a dude up and/or catch him from falling. Grade: D


The party used like 4 days with the intention of being caught up with the real calendar on 01/18/23. We paused the game again and my shame knows no limits.


Dama (L1 Venturer) played by RR.  Current total xp: 75. DECEASED. Poison gas in Session 3.

Darius LeVay (L1 Assassin) played by JB. Current Total XP:451. DECEASED. Poison gas in Session 3.

Donald the Guardsman (L1 Fighter) played by MP. Current Total XP:570. DECEASED. Intra-party justice in Session 3.

Felix (L1 Thief) played by Nicholas. Current Total XP:431. DECEASED. Poison gas in Session 3.

Hektor (L1 Paladin) played by Moai. DECEASED. Cause of Death: goblin warg rider throat removal surgery in Session 2

Leonidas the Inquisitor (L1 Cleric) played by RR.Current Total XP:498  DECEASED. Frozen undead blistering cold aura left his skin frostbitten and broken in Session 6. Body not recovered.

Mard the Mage (L1 Mage) played by Nicholas. DECEASED. Frozen undead blistering cold aura left his skin frostbitten and broken in Session 6. Body not recovered.

Yolo Baggins "My friends call me Swaggins" (L1 Gnomish Trickster) played by J. DECEASED. Paralyzed and eaten by ghouls in Session 12. Body not recovered.

Jack Filcher (L1 Thief) played by C. DECEASED. Shot full of arrows by Inthorn's brigands in Session 12. Body not recovered.

Swoleous Maximus (L1 Paladin). DECEASED. Captured then drawn and quartered by Inthorn the Brigand warlord in Session 12. Posthumously named "Petty Hero of Turos Tem" by Legate Valerian. Ashes offered a place of pride in the Hospital.

Damianus (L1 Cleric). DECEASED. Captured and beheaded by Inthorn the Brigand warlord in Session 12. Posthumously named "Petty Hero of Turos Tem" by Legate Valerian. Ashes offered a place of pride in the Hospital.

Bucky (L1 Barbarian). DECEASED. Became a illegal pit fighter during his downtime. Had two bouts to the death, winning the first and losing the second. Was killed by Young Jack Sparrow who sashayed into the ring, drank rum, and mogged on Bucky before putting a dagger into his ribs, killing him. This happened during downtime between Session 17 and 18.

Broll Wolf-Eater (L1 Barbarian). Current total XP: 1079. DECEASED. Carried off by harpies after falling for their enchanting song in Session 19.

Brother Franklin (L1 Cleric). DECEASED. Decapitated by a mad cultist of a Lovecraftian slime thing in Session 19.

Felix the Elder (L1 Bard). Total XP 825. DECEASED. Captured by mad cultists and fed to a Lovecraftian slime monster in Session 19.

Templar Flavius Africanus (L1 Cleric). Total XP 7. Killed by the claws and beak of mad harpies in Session 19.

Xendi (L1 Explorer). Total XP 6. DECEASED. Carried off by harpies after falling for their enchanting song in Session 19.

Yllmeeton (L3 Shaman). Total XP 4,563. Bludgeoned by the corpse of a bowmen by Rosie Odonnel hag in Session 21.

Longinus (L2 Assassin). Total XP 2,036. Had his face ripped off by Rosie Odonnel hag in Session 21.

Mandonio (L3 Fighter). Total XP 4,779. Charred to a leprous crisp by diseased Dragon breath in Session 22.

Corydon (L1 Joker). Total XP: 0. Burnt to a crisp by chimera breath so thoroughly his corpse wasn't even fit for the crows. Died with a smile on his face and a song in his heart. that's life and as funny as it seems... some people get their kicks, stomping on a dream... In Session 25.

Donny Keebler (L1 Elven Spellsword). Total XP 2,238. Had his legs burned completely off by chimera fire breath in Session 25.

Marina (L2 Fighter). Total XP: 2,204. Burnt into ash by a chimera fire breath in Session 25.

Gundro (L2 Gnomish Trickster). Total XP: 2,575. Had his mouth and tongue bitten off by a lizardman ambusher in the dank sewers below Cyfaraun in Session 26.

Polydoros (L1 Fighter). Total XP: 0. Had his legs ripped off and eaten by Akira monsters in the dark canopy of the Viaspen Forest in Session 28.

Odrum (L1 Explorer). Total XP: 287. Javelin to the heart from the hands of weird vine goblins hidden in the walls of Ferigno's lair in Session 30.

Garvin the Nutless Wonder (L1 Mage). Total XP: 0. Fell off the side of Ferigno's lair 20 feet to his death in Session 30.

Blackmoon (L1 Assassin). Total XP: 768. Choked to death by BOB from Twin Peaks while stealing treasure from Ferigno's dragon horde in Session 30.

Xanthus (L2 Cleric). Total XP: 2,364. Choked to death by BOB from Twin Peaks while hanging out on the roof of Ferigno's lair in Session 30.

Lord Zyklon (L1 Elven Spellsword). Total XP: 0. LORD ZYKLON DISEMBOWLED LORD ZYKLON upon finding himself on the losing side of the Desolation of Turos Tem.

Turin (L1 Cleric). Total XP: 0. Eaten by Wargs in Session 32.

Rat Face (L2 Thief) Total XP: 1,577. Seemingly grabbed in the dark by a Xenomorph in Session 36. In a sinkhole your party can hear you scream! 

Smarticus (L1 Mage) Total XP: 0. Captured by a Xenomorph in Session 36 for all the party to witness. Taken deep into a sinkhole.

Hearticus (L1 Cleric) Total XP: 0. Gored to death by giant horned beetles in Session 39 after projectile vomiting all over himself from the stink of sewer sludge.

Mickey Mouser (L1 Thief) Total XP: 0. Gored to death by giant horned beetles in Session 39 in the happiest place on earth: the Cyfaraun sewer!

Aenes (Level 1 Paladin) Total XP: 62. Swarmed by giant flies in the sewer beneath Cyfaraun in Session 40.

Acianus (Level 1 Mage) Total XP: 0. Chopped to pieces in Session 42 by a six armed demon statue from behind and quickly forgotten about by his compatriots who saved MadEye and lamented Hardar instead. But I'll never forget you Acinanu nanu...nanite... nananaa...

Hardar (Level 2 Mage) Total XP: 2,832. Chopped up in Session 42 by a six armed demon statue as he held his Darth Vader Choking Grip spell long enough for his compatriots to escape an unwinnable battle. His dream to become the most evil being in the universe suffers eternally the indignity of being remembered for self sacrifice and laying his life down for his friends.

Nubbs (Level 3 Thief) Total XP: 4,017. Swarmed by scarabs which bored into his ears and brain in Session 45.

Grummz (Level 1 Dwarven Vaultgard) Total XP: 0. Ripped limb from limb by a throng of skeletons and their undead golem leaders in Session 46.

Grommzs (Level 1 Dwarven Vaultguard) Total XP: 2,168. Torn to bits and eaten by trolls in session 48

Rapunzel (Level 4 Priestess) Total XP: 11,540. Torn to bits and eaten by trolls in Session 48.

Schizo (Level 1 Mage): Total XP: 0. Frozen to death by an assassin's guild ruffian bard wielding a Wand of Cold in session 54.

Marteen (Level 1 Thief): Total XP: 0. Fell to his death in Lamalla's Temple upon a pile of dragon horde gold. Corpse eaten by Sheila the Beautiful, an Ancient Blue Dragon in session 56.

Ambrose (Level 2 Cleric): Total XP: idk. Strangled to death by cursed octopi in a canoe on Lake Laman claiming the Sinister Stone of Sakkara for Law and eventual destruction in session 63.

Traiticus (Level 9 Fighter): Total XP: alot. Head split in half by Froggo's bronze magic "Fren Axe" during Operation Muscle Thunder on 08/09/22.

Alina (Level 7 Mage). Cut in half at her belt line by Froggo's bronze magic "Fren Axe" during Operation Muscle Thunder on 08/09/22.

Olgar McKenzie (Level 5ish Barbarian). Soul eaten by Stormbringer wielded by the Manson the mad assassin during Operation Muscle Thunder on 08/09/22.

Celeste (Level 7ish Witch). Soul eaten by Stormbringer wielded by the Manson the mad assassin during Operation Muscle Thunder on 08/09/22. Said Ancient Soul caused a backfire effect and blasted Manson's face off leaving him dead in the sea foam.

Allen A'Dulles (Level 1 Bard): Petrified by a basilisk in the Meniri Mountains in Session 66.

Cyfaraun (Level 1 Elven Spellsword): Eaten by basilisks in the Meniri Mountains in Session 66.

Tamryn (Level 1 Elven Spellsword):  Petrified by a basilisk in the Meniri Mountains in Session 66

Allen the Bard (Level 1 Bard): Petrified by a basilisk in the Meniri Mountains in Session 66.

UnNamed Venturer (Level 1 Venturer): Killed by astral demons and sucked into the vacuum of spacetime in Session 66.

Major Garland Briggs (Level 1 Explorer): Killed by the crossbow bolt of an angry thracian in a dormant (?) volcano dungeon called Queens Rest Mountain. Then his body was eaten by giant chameleons as the rest of the party made their escape in Session 73.

Autumn Leaves (Level 1 Elven Spellsword): Died to lizardman crossbow bolts to the tears of her adventuring compatriots who tried to revive her after absconding with her corpse just outside Queens Rest Mountain in Session 73.

Xanthos (Level 6 Cleric): Cut down by a flaming blade by a very powerful thracian lizardman below Queens Rest Mountain in Session 74. Ressurected about two weeks later.

Stormin' Norman (Level 1 Gnomish Trickster): Captured by the lizardman tribe below Queens Rest Mountain whilst trying to use illusionist tricks to steal a magic spear. Was subsequently fed to their Giant Chameleons for being an annoying gnome in Session 74.

Kortes (Level 5ish Explorer): Captured and pickled by Blind Pew and the 4 purple dragons of Muppetlantis sometime during downtime in late October or early November.

Billy (L6 Explorer): Roasted to a crisp by Bluey the Blue Dragon's Lightning Bolt Breath in Session 85. Had "restore life and limb" cast on him a few days later.

Tuck Dragonborn (L3[4] Barbarian): Also roasted to a crisp by Bluey the Blue Dragon's Lightning Bolt breath in session 85. Also had restore life and limb cast on him a few days later.

Xanthos: (Level 7 Cleric): Cut down by ogre champions in Session 86.

Snorri Sljepyson the Watchful (Neutral L1 Dwarven Vaultgaurd): Fell to his death about 300 feet off the side of the Dark Wall and went splat on Session 88.

Alexa this is so sad play "Time after time" by Cyndi Lauper

How to Total NonStop Braunstein your Traveler Campaign

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