This Week in UMBROS: 07/12/26 to 07/18/26 - More Wargames than you can shake a stick at!

Looking down on UMBROS 

No one read my post last week. You guys don't want UMBROS IN PRINT? What a shame! 

However, the news posting will go on because I believe these SEEN POSTS, and these blogs putting them in chronological order, have a great deal of value for my campaign and for future campaigns looking to use BROSR methods. Can you imagine if the Blackmoor Braunstein had a record of chronological news posts like this? Or if Gary's original Gygax campaign did? It would be a treasure trove!  

"This Week in UMBROS" will be that such trove one day. 

And this week, big big BIG things happened. You may recall that last week there was a SEEN post that Ferigno was poised to attack Firsthaven AGAIN. Well that wargame was docketed. That docket was played this week. And the results of that Docket were turned into SEEN posts you'll find below from about 7/16/26 and after. 

Guess what... it wasn't Ferigno at all! 

Read on and find out who actually attacked Firsthaven and what actually happened in  REAL WARGAME BATTLE PLAYED OUT WITH MULTIPLE PLAYERS IN LIVE PLAY. UMBROS has more wargames in a month than most wargamers play in a year. 

Maybe they should celebrate our campaign more? I won't hold my breath for the Twitter posts about it.

Also this week I was on the Dundermoose podcast show with Jeffro. It was alot of fun and I explored an important 1e monster that is rarely talked about... the aids demon! You'll find none of those in UMBROS (yet) but you can listen to me and Jeffro make fun of Griff Morgan and David Wesely here:

7/10/26

Pool’s Closed

A body was found outside Tootchville, just before the Home Stone's light fell upon the Purple Hills. The identity of the man remains unknown due to the condition of the body; flesh of paper, dry and brittle bones, and shriveled eyes. Among his belongings was a piece of torn and burned cape stained with a message: POOL'S CLOSED!

07/12/26

Raid on Umbral Keep!

Passing merchants have recieved reports from sources deep in the Umbral swamp that locals saw fires in the vicinity of former headquarters of the late, unlamented Hooja. Additionally, those merchants confirm that elven figures were seen leaving the vicinity of the swamp, headed south. Explanation of how the Sly Band was caught napping or where Grundgru and his troops were remains lacking.

07/12/2026

Mounted Warriors Near Ferigno’s Lair

A deluge of disparate witnesses stretching from the Twilight Pines, through the Purple Hills, all the way to the Glarewood report various sightings of a band of mounted warriors a score in strength. Some claim they walked, some claim they flew. One witness was adamant that “they camped outside of Tootchville, planning something!” Whoever this band was, it is certain that they were armed for battle and moving quickly. The last confirmed sighting was near the rumored location of Feringo's Lair.

07/13/26

Gob Speaks

Gob was seen speaking amongst the denizens of his homeland in the Umbral Swamps

07/13/26

Return to Monke

Ooka Booka has been spending much time at the various watering holes of Tootchville talking about a “return to monk,” a repudiation of the civilized ways of the Innes regime, and how he knows he is right because of his pretty new sword. He is saying these things to pretty much anyone who will listen.

07/13/26

Song Off the Umbral Coast

Sailors and fishermen off the coast of the Umbral Lands have attested to hearing a strange, hauntingly beautiful song, which fills them with sadness. The song has been heard for nearly a week at this point, and as of this time shows no sign of stopping.

In addition, several wreaths of seaweed and driftwood have been recovered on the shores. One such wreath was found during the night, a strange collection of runes inscribed in bioluminescent algae on the driftwood. The illiterate fishermen were unable to discern its meaning before the runes faded in the morning light.

07/13/2026

Break-In at Feringo HQ?

It seems that Srrith might have retained the services of a particularly sneaky Sagoth, as reports of a break-in at Feringo HQ rise to the surface. Feringo's accountant-minon refused to discuss what, if anything, was stolen, but insurance adjusters were seen leaving in a foul mood. Feringo declined to comment, but was seen roasting his dinner with more fury than usual, and muttering about "those Mahar bastards."

07/13/26

The Homestone is Diminished

Stonegazers have conferred, and come to a rather startling conclusion. The Homestone is diminished somehow.

No ordinary person would notice, and it actually took Submaster Telekos, a 45-year tenured stonegazer, three hours, five clay tablets, and two stone slates to demonstrate the calculations required to detect the infinitesimal decrease.

After long deliberation, someone raised a startling possibility. What if someone had simply removed a portion of the stone?

There were rumors, but now there is mathematical, scientific confirmation of the possibility. What that means for the future is anyone's guess.

07/13/26

Ferigno Flies Over Tootchville

Citizens of Tootchville feared for their lives this week when out of nowhere Feringo flew overhead! Everyone took cover, preparing for the worst, but their fears were for naught. The Wyrm passed overhead and continued south, not even acknowledging the town. Later the next day he returned, coming north.

Again everyone went inside to hide, but Feringo apparently was not hungry today (or maybe someone else was the object of his appetite). Regardless, citizens have been warned to continue to be ready at a moment’s notice, as the saying goes: "A dragon always stops to eat. If he doesn't twice, beware the third."

This oddly-specific saying obviously comes from experience.

07/14/2026

Alarms at the Purple Tower

Shouting and alarms were set off in the middle of the night near the Purple Tower. Despite interviewing many of the inhabitants of the area, none were sober enough to be reliable witnesses to what all the hullabaloo was about. Request for comment by the grand magus himself, Tootch, were met with a firm shake of the head from the guard golems at the front gate. Many "witnesses" speculate about a potential break-in, but these remain unconfirmed rumors with no suspect as of this time.

07/15/26

Never Forget Harambe

SAGOTH SAW ALL. FRIEND GET LEECH IN THORAT. JUST DRINKING WATER. CHOKED RIGHT AS LEECH LET GO. NEVER FORGET HARAMBE

07/15/2026

A Tootchville Market Conversation

A passing conversation overheard in the Tootchville market:

"Did you hear?"

"What, no dearie, do you have some juicy gossip for me?"

"Of course I do... You'll never guess who came to me all in a rush this morning looking to buy clothes"

"...clothes?"

"Well, more like 'pants' specifically. Serevas apparently had a late night run-in with one of those nasty female elves last night and woke up missing all kinds of things."

"That sick jerk; she's only 52 years old!"

07/15/26

A Cozy Retreat

Travelers of the Umbral Lands have discovered a cozy retreat under a cliff face, an ideal place to set up camp for a contingent to rest in the dark, dark lands.

07/15/26

Terror from the Deep

At the midnight hour of the Home Stone abruptly lit up, revealing a cloud of darkness roiling in from the sea. This encroaching, silent darkness quickly engulfed the docks of Firsthaven, which had been left undefended as the city rallied to fight Feringo the Green Dragon and his Vineling hordes.

As of this morning, no one has yet seen any of the invaders due to the impenetrable magical darkness surrounding them: a few recovered scraps of bone and desiccated flesh do provide some clues. These remnants, coupled with the complete lack of civilian bodies, are horrifying in their implications.

Casualties are believed to be heavy, though, again, many remain missing. Severe damage was inflicted on the entire city, with the waterfront in particular suffering from the intense combat.

The darkness returned to the deeps as abruptly as it arrived. Witnesses report that, though the cloud had fought in silence for the entire battle, a single, hollow, sepulchral voice boomed out just before its departure.

“Enjoy your pretender’s throne while you can, Dru. And you, Cain: I have a message from an old family friend. The Serpent dearly misses you and looks forward to seeing you very, very soon.”

When asked about Feringo and his army, and what they are doing now, a harried-looking official replied:

“What Feringo? There was never any Feringo. They played us all for fools!”

07/16/26

Bolo the Thief in Firsthaven

Bolo the Thief has been seen picking through the ruins of Firsthaven along with other search and recovery teams. He wears a dejected scowl, probably upset that he is now homeless again.

7/16/2026

Floydio in Tootchville

Floydio, the Elf known to be the loyal Marshall of the Host co-ordinating all the minions of Chaz, was seen all week in various locations around the town of Tootchville. No one is quite sure when he arrived, or when he intends to leave, but a perceptive observer will note that he was definitely more frequently spotted near the various taverns and pleasure houses where one might expect to find a tougher sort of personnel.

07/16/26

The Sly Band in the Fog

Dan Danface, one of the many local drunks of Tootchville, stumbled into a ditch last night. When he awoke, he was just in time to see several of the Sly Band slinking off into the fog near town, headed for points unknown.

7/16/2026

Firsthaven Stands

Prince Dru looked out from the tower of the Homestone, gazing over the destruction of Firsthaven. The southeastern portion of the city was completely gone, and the remainder barely saved through the blood, sweat, and tears of the brave men who sacrificed their lives and worked through the night to halt the fires’ spread. Now, while smoke rose lazily from the wreckage, a great pyre burned outside the walls, its fetid smoke drifting putridly with the westward wind. Dru looked towards the sea, where the dread queen of undeath retreated beneath the waves, beyond the reach of even Cain the Kinslayer. He turned once more to the gleaming stone behind him, receiving a small grace of a spark of hope. Despite everything, Firsthaven stood; the Homestone still shone. So long as those two things remained true, there would always be hope.

7/16/2026

The Charge of the Thag Brigade

The Shiny Guard lead by Kwaja the Sharper stormed through the north gate of First Haven to repel the undead hordes rising from the sea. Amongst all the death and chaos, Kwaja valiantly lead four war thags into the morass of undead, turning a horde of ghouls to a stinking paste under tusk and hoof! Despite losing one thag in the effort, Marovia's horde fled back into the depths not three minutes later, no doubt fearing what another charge would mean to her foul plans. Though First Haven must rebuild from this attack, surely their just leaders will offer some reward to the city’s saviors!

07/17/26

Moriva Beneath the Waves

Rumors persist that Moriva has not returned to her dread citadel after the assault upon Firsthaven. Instead, fishermen, pearl divers, and even mariners of less excitable reputation now whisper that the Lich Queen has gone below, taking refuge in the cold depths just off the coast.

The signs are difficult to dismiss. Marine life has almost entirely departed the immediate waters around Firsthaven. Nets come up empty. Crabs flee the shore in unpleasant numbers. Even the gulls wheel high above the bay and refuse to settle upon the waves. Those few who have dared sail near the darker waters report patches of blackness moving below the surface where no shadow ought to be, drifting not like silt but with unnatural stops and starts.

Once, during a low fog, a sailor swore he heard hammers ringing beneath the sea. Another crew pulled up an anchor fouled with black mud, a human jawbone wrapped in seaweed, and a scrap of worked stone carved with the sign of Hel. Mariners are now convinced that something is being built beneath the waves, constructed by things which do not breath. They report a “really creepy feeling, like we’re being watched, y’know?” The old men of the docks now make the sign of the Stone before launching their boats, though fewer boats launch each day.

07/17/26

Cain Speaks

Cain, as usual, has had much to say. Though he's made no official proclamation about the Second Battle of Firsthaven, onlookers and servants have gathered much of his thoughts from his usual cranky monologuing to whoever happens to be listening:

"My efforts to protect the people of Firsthaven and destroy evil were doomed from the start as they were tied to the anchor that is Dru. False reports of Ferigno outside the city wasted my time and took me away from the assault. Where were the guards within the city? On the walls awaiting the same false dragon Dru had been duped with, taking mere street rumors at their word and passing them along to his city has gospel. I was robbed of the chance to destroy whichever evil thing may have been coming. My absence was the meant doom for the city that night. Without me this whole world is doomed."

07/17/26

The Rich Get Richer

Word comes from the Glarewood that Hibobu, Master of the Merchant Guild, has done something either magnificently bold or commercially deranged: he has robbed Feringo blind!

The tale is already much embellished. It contains dragon treasure, war thags, vinelings, poisoned flowers, and, by several reports, a fiend in denim. Yet the chief fact remains firm. Feringo was absent from his lair, and Hibobu’s caravan did not retreat from the Green Wyrm’s tower. Those who have since dared the Glarewood report a scene of fine disorder. The tower door was shattered, the threshold blackened by fire, and dead vinelings lay among broken arrows, spilled oil, torn vines, and purple flowers of an unhealthy aspect.

"I creeped close, I did,” said one sojourner, “thinking perhaps a shiny thing had been left behind. But then came that strange jazz bass from the ruin, and a man with sense retreats.”

Others speak of an apparition moving with the music: wild-eyed, shadowy, and dressed, impossibly, in denim. Whether it served Feringo or merely haunted the place, none can say. No treasure remained for lesser thieves. Only silver-tipped arrows, torn wagon-cloth of Hibobu's colors, and the marks of heavy wheels.

One Hroko, a Glarewood scavenger of limited prudence, swears he saw Hibobu’s wagons depart laden and low.

“He robbed the Wyrm,” said Hroko. “I waited to follow him back to Firsthaven, but may the Home Stone strike me down, the man turned north. North!”

Should Feringo return, he will find a broken door, a burned threshold, dead servants, missing treasure, and the wagon tracks of a merchant prince leading north

07/18/26

Mahar Princess in the Dawnspires

A Mahar princess was seen traversing the Dawnspires, her retinue of Dwelvemen lugging plenty of cargo alongside them.

07/18/26

Bayou Krashir’s Coffin Story

Bayou Krashir is the most notorious gossip in the Umbral Swamps. So when he came lumbering into Tootchville with a barrel full of the strongest hootch you can drink, folks stopped by to listen. As always, the colorful moonshiner's story didn't disappoint:

"So here I was, draggin this 'eer draught up the peak othersidea Goldhold, and whadja-I see but my brother Sloppy and three of his mates haulin' two ornate boxes up the hill. Prettiest coffins I ever did see. Now I don' read much, but the shapes on them lids had names on 'em."

Bayou sketches a pair of names in the dirt: Vandoro, and Sagmi.

"I was 'bout to walk up and give the ole' yokel a fine greetin' when he gestured for me to git. Shouted that it wasn't none of my business, that I should leave while I still could. Before they woke up. Guess it was them vamps I been hearin' bout lately. I reckon they’re settin up shop there for a little while at least."

Do you know how to DURS? Neither do 
Dundermoose's listeners!

This Week in UMBROS: 07/01/26 to 07/10/26 - UMBROS IN PRINT NOW

Another week or so passed in UMBROS to begin the month of July 2026. If you don't already know, UMBROS is my D&D campaign ran with a TOTAL NONSTOP BRAUNSTEIN approach. Meaning it's real D&D and your campaign isn't. But your campaign can be if you pick up my UMBROS MODULE. 

Get it now. It's at cost!

It's been available as a free pdf on DrivethruRPG for months now but, as of yesterday you can now get it in PRINT ON LULU. Click the links embedded in that sentence to find them. I am selling the physical book AT COST meaning I MAKE NO MONEY ON IT. You're only paying for printing cost and whatever junk fees Lulu dot com rips you off with.

Upon reading UMBROS you will see what a Real D&D campaign can be. Upon reading the below news posts (created by the campaign's actual players with SEEN) you will see what Total Gaming Enlightenment looks like. 

I hope you enjoy reading these posts and your imagination fires with the possibilities of your own campaign. In fact, I invite anyone reading this to run their UMBROS campaign in THIS SAME GAME WORLD with the same news elements. My "This Week in UMBROS" series is really all you need to join the fun and have your adventurers exist in this same game world. Reach out to me in the comments below, or on elon's stupid app, if you're interested in having your adventurers compete with the Hel Delvers for treasure, cash and prized. And prestige! 

Enjoy!

UMBROS NEWS FROM 07/01/26 TO 07/10/26

07/01/26

An Appeal to the Home Stone

Thedd Dredd knelt in quiet contemplation, mourning the loss of Prince Ronan and so many of the fallen. The Litany of the Stone ran through his mind, but the words seemed nearly hollow.

His faith had been tested on more than occasion before, and Thedd had not lost hope. Yet, he realized the situation for those on the Path of virtue and justice was growing grim. Moriva in the west was making advances, Tootch remained holed up in his tower, seemingly ambivalent to the disaster unfolding in the world. The demonic forces of Hel not only challenged them in the dungeon, but have made their presence known in the south of the Dawnlands. And even now, the Mahar marched on - driven by a force yet unseen. Who now was left that could draw victory from the jaws of defeat?

"CAIN!" Thedd cried out, rising from his meditation. Those in Tootchville could hear his voice ring out like a bell.

"I will bear your mark! I will take on this burden! Train me in your ways, teach me to walk the Path!"

A murmur that Thedd had lost his mind went through the village. Thedd cared not. His vision was clear.

07/01/26

Reed Speaks

Dateline Tootchville. The Syndicated Dungeon Delvers of Umbros (or whatever they’re calling themselves this week) have returned from their second foray in as many days. While the core of the group appears to be unchanged, our intrepid reporter noted a rather pasty figure with bright red hair accompanying the group. When pled for information, this individual gave his name as (we believe) “Reed”. Reed had much to say about his adventures, some of which we understood. When asked about the events of yesterday, he responded thusly. We apologize to our readers, but we couldn’t actually make out what he said so we’re trying to transcribe the noises.

“Och aye, ‘twas a bonny auld taime. ‘Teh Jimsoons wuir tryain’ tae extortionate oos, an’ aye gaiss tey’d ailridy kilt a fayer few was trayin’ tae goo an divver. We popped teh duir jess faine, tarrns oot tey wuir furmed oop insayde all riddy, so’s I hit ‘em wüith ant angle, stooped ‘em did in te’ir traiks laik. Ifter tat, ‘twas trivial tae sook ‘em an oil. Went up in a bonny auld bonfayer it did, Ai’m suir bridge it (Brigid?) was lauwrfin’ ‘er faery ‘ead oof, bless ‘tae lass. ‘It ‘teir lider wit’ ae faery fayer (Note: we have no idea what he’s on about here) tui. Guess oon of uir clairecs ‘ad a bit oov ai gruige ‘gainst ‘em, sae’s ‘e jiss merc’d ‘em on tae spoot. Guid coinage too.”

We have absolutely no idea what happened, but the group seemed pretty happy.

Editors Note: I don't know what he's talking about either.

7/1/2026

Hibobu Speaks in Tootchville

In the first breath of dawn, when the Homestone still dreamed beneath its veil of ash-blue light,
Hibobu and Hildaga walked the road to the market-square of Tootchville.
They came as traders come in old tales,
with purpose in their stride and the weight of distant lands upon their cloaks.

They mounted the steps of the central fountain,
the stone worn smooth by generations,
and there Hibobu stood, waiting as the people gathered like reeds around a riverbank.
When the murmuring quieted, he lifted his voice,
a voice seasoned by caravans, storms, and long memory:

“People of Tootchville, hear and know.
We are come from Firsthaven, bearing trade, purchase, and sale.
Even now my merchants set their tables beyond your gate.
Who among you lacks what we carry?
The seamstress her needles and bolts,
the farmer his implements,
the soldier his arms,
the house-frau her flour and rye grain.
We await you with honest trade and friendly barter.
Those with private business may seek me in my tent.
And if any know the path of a guild-caravan that passed here of late,
a reward awaits true words.
Act swiftly, friends, for our stay is short.”

Thus his speech settled upon the square like morning dew,
and the people murmured,
for Hibobu spoke with the certainty of one favored by the road-gods.

07/01/26

PRINCE RONAN PRESUMED DEAD, CAPTAIN DRU ASSUMES POWER IN FIRSTHAVEN

"Breaking news out of Firsthaven today! Dru, formerly Captain of the Prince Ronan's elite bodyguard, has publicly proclaimed that Prince Ronan is quote, 'probably dead,' end quote, and that the time has come for the tribe to select a new chief. We go now to Kadiz Kurik, our reporter on the ground."

"That's right, Grash. According to ancient Pellucdarian tradition, when there is no clear heir to the chiefdom, any member of the tribe who wishes may step forward and proclaim himself chief, and must accept all challengers. Dru was the first to throw his hat in the ring. We've had no less than eight electrifying matches today and Dru's showing no signs of slowing down! This last fight will determine the new - - oh, oh! - Dru's got him in a figure four! He's tapping, the challenger is tapping! Dru is the new Chief of Firsthaven! You heard it here on UNN first, folks, Dru is the new head honcho in the Dawnlands!!"

Editor's Note: This action and situation was happened thanks to rumors of Ronan's demise from last week's news. And the Braunstein Session I ran with Ferigno vs Ronan and assorted good guys in the previous week. Everyone thinks Ronan is dead so the town needs a successor, yes? What better way for a civilized primeval city At the Earth's Core to decide on succession than through combat!

07/02/2026

Zartan Visits the Money-Lenders

Zartan begrudgingly made his way to the money-lenders. His disappointing haul from his Hel Delve would not pay for his extended stay at Tootchville for very long. If he wasn’t careful, he’d be back doing clerical work, or worse. He had a mind for magic, and nothing short of death would keep him from his pursuit of it. His determination forced him out of bed, despite the persistent cramping he felt in his abdomen.

As his business concluded with the lenders, the cramping reached a nauseating peak. The money lender handed him a bag of freshly minted Hibobu shinies, to which Zartan immediately opened the bag and profusely vomited in it. The two shared stunned glances at each other for a moment.
“Can I have a different bag?”
“... No.”

07/02/26

Ghouls in the Civilized Lands

Continued rumors of the dead marching across the land. It is unknown what their purpose is, but ghouls have been, on occasion, spotted in the civilized lands of Umbros.

7/3/2026

The Missing Sword

Arguments break out as some unseen force crashes through several stalls set up for the Arcane Fair, sending oddities such as gold femurs, ferrets of only slightly unusual size, and Kabbages™ flying across the street! The clearly overwhelmed "project manager" Keblar attempted to calm the chaos as apprentices swarmed him.

Soon after, a demanding adventurer pushed through the red-faced ranters and asked "Dude, where's my sword?!" Some time later, the selfsame adventurer was seen lifting his new blade high into the air and yelling "One Cee Two One One Six!" None understood the odd shout, but rumor says Tootch's Golem Butler fainted on the spot! The adventurer, for his part, left the scene with sword sheathed.

7/3/2026

The Sagoths Depart Umbral Keep

The gates of the Umbral Keep opened, and the waters of the Umbral Swamp rippled with the heavy steps of Grundgru and his men, flanked on both sides by the massive forms of their dinosaurs, the heavy chains rattling between them, their handlers, and the cattle appropriated from the village.

“Come on, you dogs! The masters say we move, so we move!” Grundgru calls out. Behind him, several slaves carry a covered palanquin, from which gleam two pairs of glowing red eyes.
The procession disappeared into the darkness of the swamp, heading south.

7/4/26

The Arcane Fair Begins

Exciting, wondrous, and only somewhat deadly: The Arcane Fair is underway! Apprentice mages and researchers will be giving lectures and showing off their dioramas to interested parties, and to gain favor in the Purple Tower. Rumours are that even the magnanimous Tootch will be making appearances!*

*Some restrictions may apply

7/4/26: Night

Night at the Arcane Fair

Celebration, assault, or prank? Colourful explosions decorate the skies around Tootchtown! Smoke and Croaking mix with the laughter of pranksters, invisible or otherwise, are heard as robes are flipped, tables are tossed, and other shenanigans spread throughout the masses.

Tootch was not available (or visible) for comment, but Keblar was heard shouting: "It is all part of the show! Please do not be alarmed (you absolute fools)!"

07/06/26

Hibobu's Crier once again strides through the streets of Tootchville:

"HEY YA, HEY YA, HEY YA!
MASTER HIBOBU IS IN NEED OF ADVENTURERS.
STOUT MEN WHO CAN TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES AND OTHERS
A CHOICE REWARD AWAITS THE TEAM WHICH SUCCEEDS.
COME TO THE TENT OF HIBOBU ANY WILLING HEARTIES.
THE WEAK AND STUPID NEED NOT APPLY. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.
HEY YA, HEY YA, HEY YA!"

07/06/26

Chaz Appears!

Beside each mirror which had previously been used to send a Twilight Whisper message, lies a small bouquet of flowers, and tiny note written in sloppy elf-script. Beware the flowers thorns, though. It appears that Chaz (now operated by [PLAYER DISCORD NAME]) has finished his midsummer revelry and decided to take a more active role in this Hel-ish land.

Editor's Note: I have invited new players to the campaign to run Faction Leaders. Chaz was being played for a long time with me NPCing him. But I'm happy to say I will no longer need to do that. Somehow this player may actually be more Chaz than me... and I invented the character back in Trollopulous! That's saying something...

07/06/26

The Green Wyrm Returns to Firsthaven!

Chaos and consternation in Firsthaven today as the Green Dragon Ferigno, at the head of yet another horde of his abominable Vinelings, arrived at Firsthaven and laid siege to the town yet again. Though his first attack was narrowly repulsed, all of the heroes who stopped him are dead. The town asks: who can save us now?

Editor's Note: This news report has become a DOCKETED wargame with the Assaulting Force vs The Defending Force. The Good guys are hopeful that the new ruler of Firsthaven, Dru, is up to the task to keeping Ferigno (or whatever is assaulting the city) from finishing off civilization completely. I docketed this wargame by placing the summary of the scenario, the two sides, and special considerations in one place. Then, it was offered to my campaign (or anyone who wants to run it) with a TWO Players and ONE Referee. I'm tired of solo wargaming. It sucks. We all know it sucks. As I said in my influential post "The 'Winning Secrets' to Having a D&D Campaign with Wargaming"  Docketing, GOSS, and SEEN have made Wargaming in D&D feasible again. You can thank me now or back the upcoming "Winning Secrets 2" when it drops to thank me later. Because I expound at length on these findings and what it means for TTRPGs. (Spoiler: it solves everything.) I hope to have the results of this Docket to you and this news feed next week. Stay tuned!

07/06/26

The Lost Caravan Reward

Rumor has it that Hibobu will pay 4,000 GP to those who return the "Lost Caravan" to Tootchville.

Editor's Note: This turned into the Adventure Session this week which was played on 07/07/26 as we tried to collect the big reward from the Faction Leader players running Tootch. You can read the session report from the DM here. I was Azkin the elf in that session and I can tell you we did NOT collect the 4,000 GP. We only managed to get 2 of our members killed. Enjoy!

7/6/26

A Shadow in the Umbral Swamps

A shadow has been seen lurking in the Umbral Swamps, lurking amongst the mosquitoes and mongrelmen.

07/06/26

Sagoths in Goldhold

A contingent of Sagoths marched straight through to Goldhold, picking over the remnants of the once-great Dwarven kingdom. It is reported that they were muttering about discovering "hot vats for make new shorties" and that "Queen Srrith will be pleased."

07/07/26

Ranak Hires Slingers

Ranak the fighter hires five slingers to serve as men-at-arms. The group was seen practicing their marksmanship while drilled by Ranak just outside the town's gate, whipping small stones at lighting speed at targets with little skulls painted on them.

07/07/26

TOOTCH DODGING PAYMENT TO HIRELINGS: WIZARD NOT A MAN OF HIS WORD?

Tootch recently put out a call for hirelings, promising extravagant rewards for an unknown mission. Now that the bill has come due, the purple mage has always been “in a meeting,” “conducting an important experiment,” or “in the middle of lessons.”

This shifty behavior has led some to decry Tootch as “Tootch the Purple Miser,” “the Stingy Sorcerer,” and other very funny, very creative epithets.

07/07/26

The Fairwatch Scouts

The Fairwatch, led by Tupo the fearsome Elven Figher, began scouting for monsters in a preliminary subduing action at Hex 13.13, returning with basic information about most monster numbers and some likely positions. It seems that Chaz is interested in expanding his little tree fort...

07/07/26

The Hel Delvers Return Short

Dateline Tootchville: the Hel Delvers returned from an expedition a few members short. When asked what occurred, their druid had this to say (we apologize in advance):

"We wint oof tae fin some jit kervan got loes. Took laik oon stip ootsaid an' ran intae a bliddy tie Ronner sers ricks. Ay popped tae'nvisblity 'n we all scarpered. Oon of as got itten, puir fella. Kipt lookin', foond a waggin. Ranak'n'crui wint tae lewk, lackless sods t'ae wuir. Got cau 'n quicksand 'n itten by ay bliddy wiellllwui. wiellllwui zapped me bae' goo' tui. Lots'o dith'n nae tae shew fuir et."

7/7/2026

TOOTCH & CHAZ SECRET WAR SUMMIT?

MYSTERIOUS MERCHANT LEAVES WIZARD'S TOWER SMILING! DRAGON SHOWDOWN IMMINENT?

TOOTCHVILLE, July 7 — What is the reclusive Prince Mage plotting behind the locked doors of Tootch Tower?

Eyewitnesses watched wealthy merchant Hibobu enter the tower earlier today, remaining inside for an unusually long private audience with the enigmatic wizard. What transpired during that meeting remains a closely guarded secret, but moments after leaving the tower, Hibobu was overheard speaking to his young assistant.

According to one witness, the merchant declared:

"Tootch has contacted Chaz and they will meet at Firsthaven." or words to that affect.

If true, this astonishing revelation could mean that two of the most powerful figures in the known world are preparing to confront the dreaded Dragon Ferigno!

Could a legendary alliance be forming? Is an epic battle only days away?

The Tootchville Enquirer cannot verify the witness's account. We report what our sources tell us—and let our readers decide.

One fact, however, is beyond dispute.

Master Hibobu emerged from the tower wearing a broad smile rarely seen on the famously cautious merchant. His expression suggested a man whose worries had suddenly become someone else's problem.

Coincidence?

Our readers may judge for themselves.

7/8/2026

Hibobu's Bazaar Closes

At mid-day today Hibobu's bazaar was declared closed. Tents and tables were struck and loaded into the enormous wagons. Some final sales were closed but it was obvious that the merchants were distracted. Apparently they will be marching out tomorrow, 9th. A notice is posted that any having further business can contact Hildaga, who is remaining behind.

7/9/2026

Hibobu's Caravan Departs

As the first rays of the Homestone touched Tootchville, the merchant caravan stirred to life. Cooking fires were smothered beneath damp earth, and the last bundles found their places amid shouted orders and practiced haste. For a few moments the camp was a maze of dust, beasts, and men crossing one another in controlled confusion.

Then, almost impossibly, the chaos dissolved.

The great thags lumbered into single file, harnesses creaking as each beast settled into line. Drivers checked straps one final time, guards climbed to their howdahs, and the long column stretched southward like a living serpent.

Hibobu rode to the fore and surveyed his caravan with the satisfied eye of a man who had spent a lifetime turning disorder into profit. Raising a single hand, he gave the signal.

The tiger scouts bounded ahead without hesitation, vanishing into the morning mist. Behind them, with the groan of leather and timber and the slow thunder of padded feet, the caravan rolled forward into the southern forest.

Editor's Note: Remember last week when I solved the problem of Wargame Army Marching Recon? Yeah. This is some of the fruit from that solution. Essentially I force marching armies to make a SEEN check when they muster and leave a location. This gives hints to the other Wargame players (Faction Leaders, leveled PCs etc) of what armies are mustering and marching where. If it's "Open" then the marching army's player must hint at their numbers and where they're headed to. If it's "hidden action" they can hide the destination. Etc. Again. This solves the Wargaming Problem of DMs being frazzled trying to keep up with how thick the Fog of War is for various other wargame campaign players. It takes me bascially no time because the wargame army player makes the SEEN roll and the SEEN post. I just cut and paste. I've heard that some of the Legacy BROSR are whispering in dark corners that my use of SEEN here has solved no wargaming problems (I have Braunstein style spies everywhere) but I'd counter with pointing out that only the most cavernskull wargamer campaigners or those who DONT ACTUALLY PLAY fail to see see what MEGA PROBLEM this solves. Again, you're welcome.

7/10/26

Tootch's Apprentice Returns

An apprentice of Tootch was seen leaving the barn many of the Hel Delvers occupy between adventures at a brisk pace. The young man’s robes were caked in mud and he was carrying four large clinking sacks. He was last seen making a beeline to his quarters trying (poorly) to look as inconspicuous as possible.

07/10/26

Hippogriff-Riding Elves

Upon returning to Tootchville from a recent adventure, some slingers which the Hel Delver party took out into the jungle mentioned having seen a few dozen hippogriff riding elves in skies above the purple jungle, sporting the colors of Chaz and the Twilight Pines.
"They was most certainly looking for the lost merchant caravan like us! They was watching us! Keeping tabs on where the wagon was!" some onlookers heard the slingers say. When the adventurers and onlookers asked why the slingers didn't mention this to their adventurer leaders during their travels the slingers responded "you didn't ask".

Conclusion

May Jesus Christ, the Son of God, protect and keep you. May His face shine upon you. Amen.

This Week in UMBROS: 06/23/26 to 06/30/26 - Making D&D a Wargame for real

when you tell Ferigno you still play 
conventional d&d

After the Battle of Firsthaven, you might expect the world to take a breath. It did not. Instead you see escalating consequences and rumors (in SEEN posts) that may or may not be true but are absolutely somebody’s problem.This is just one reason why a TOTAL NONSTOP BRAUNSTEIN far superior to Conventional D&D play. 

Some believe you need a great deal of Diffusion to go with Convergences Real D&D but I've found that 3 Convergences to 1 Diffusion in a campaign works just fine. Players seem to agree since they're just stacking the grand convergences. 

Even so, I'm allowing more Diffusion than I normally would because the SEEN SYSTEM removes most of the negatives of farmdweeding; most importantly the way in which BROSR campaigns like Dubzaron would see PCs or Faction Leaders accruing great resources and armies essentially in secret, due to a Fog of War being as thick as yogurt. (For an explanation of all this and why this problem happens, check out this blog post.)

With these posts you'll notice some things going on which are likely Diffusion. But at least SOMETHING is known about them in the campaign as a whole. I'll note some of the Diffusion actions below in Editor's Notes.

This week covers the immediate ripples after the massive Convergence of the Battle of Firsthaven and the growing dread around the Glarewood. Prince Ronan, Ironrider, Coralynth, and one mysterious mage have gone missing after a weirding explosion in the sky over the Glarewood. Basically the Faction players followed up one Grand Convergence (The Battle of Firsthaven) with another just a week later. The post about this is called "A Second Sun Over Glarewood" on 06/29/26. That Convergence has flipped that campaign state yet again just a week after the massive battle. 

Hibobu has started acting like the richest man in town during a crisis, which is to say he is spending money, hiring men, loading wagons, and making grand public proclamations. Moriva is on the march. The Sagoths are back to rallying around the Mahar who, for their part, are doing Mahar things. These Faction Actions appear to be Diffusion of farming resources or moving armies/units and such. In past BROSR games, this sort of thing would have been essentially secret but in UMBROS, thanks to SEEN, it's gameable.

But enough with the theory, lets move on to the "story". As always, the following SEEN posts are presented as in-world reports, rumors, gossip, lies, half-truths, and the occasional outrageous FACT. It's possible most of this is complete lies and psyops of players trying to get an edge on one another. Don't believe their lies! Or do. It's probably more fun that way.

Enjoy!

6/23/2026

Supermen From Firsthaven?

A muck farmer outside Umbral Keep witnessed a strange sight. A small band of men traveling along the far side of the river were ambushed by an entire nest of giant centipedes. The farmer thought them lost, but the creatures flailed and bit the travelers to no avail. When the creatures began to overwhelm them, the travelers ripped the centipedes in twain with their bare hands! After the men left towards Umbral Keep, the farmer recovered a broken pike distinctly Firsthaven made. Surely Prince Ronan has engineered some new form of man and is moving to consolidate his power in the Umbral Swamps now that Hooja is out of the way.

06/24/26

Spectral Riders in the Dawnlands

Reports in the Dawnlands of a group of spectral figures appearing at random to save travelers from peril. These figures are said to bear some resemblance to the late Order of the Iguanodon, though gaunt, pale, and wreathed in spectral flame. One group of travelers reported being set upon by monsters in the night, only for these revenants to ride down from the sky and drive back the nightmarish creatures encircling them.

06/27/26

Azkin's Instruments

If Azkin the Elf Thief/Fighter is to be believed, the Hel Delver party was highly successful during their trip to the local megadungeon this week. While some find it far fetched, he is hear claiming that the party "copped a bunch of musical instruments made out of precious metals" from the dungeon. "Tootch loved the stuff and gave us a big payout over 2,000 gp for the lot." While seemingly feasible, this nice payout doesn't explain why some onlookers claim to have seen Azkin conspiring with local elves to create an Elf Autonomous Zone within Tootchville. Details are sketchy but rumors claim he was "looking shady" and "talking and engaging in martial arts with local elf luminaries".

Editor's Note: Azkin is my adventuring PC. A while back it occurred to me that Faction Leaders who play in the Braunstein Type II (or Downtime Play/ Play By Post) aspects of these campaigns are never too certain what the Adventuring Parties who do session play are up to. So I instituted some class/role based checks to make and then certain types of SEEN posts that PCs may need to make (if they fail the roll). For Azkin, being a Thief, he's obliged to make a SEEN post about the treasure he took out of the recent adventure/delve if he fails a Hide in Shadows check. If he succeeds then he can make no post or make up a bunch of fake info. This allows faction leaders and others in the campaign world to somewhat gauge how successful the sessions are going. And adds another wrinkle to Thieves pickpocketing from the party. No longer can a thief hide in the fog of war 100% as he accrues great wealth. Sometimes hints might slip out that he's doing better than the party... somehow. "He maybe it's because he's stealing from us?!" Maybe. Azkin isn't. He's a great guy. Very loyal. Team player. 

06/27/26

Malcontents Could be Here...

The Monk who has been seen in the dungeoneering group in Tootchville was savagely beaten in the town square today. Witnesses report that Senehem issued an open challenge to anyone who wished to test their prowess in unarmed combat, a challenge which was taken up by a dozen malcontents. Simultaneously. This incident mostly proved the hoary old adage about "strength in numbers", as the monk was rapidly surrounded and beaten down. The assailants then attempted to rob their unconscious victim, only to be thwarted by the monk's complete lack of material possessions. They settled instead for destruction of property, vandalism, and some manure throwing for good measure.

6/27/2026

Tales From The Bone Zone

Hibobu's thag riders currently employed by the Hel Delvers were regaling tavern maids of their exploits in the Hel Dungeon while carousing in Tootchvile: "You don't understand love, EVERYTHING was made of bones! We pushed through down a staircase and the walls, the doors, the floor - the whole damn complex was made of skeletons. We saw skeleton knights, skeleton musicians, you open a door and the only thing we could see is skeleton hands grasping for our throats! I've got a much nicer bone I can show you tonight if you catch my meaning..." It is unknown if the mercenaries conquests outside of the dungeon were more successful that evening, though at least one rider was seen wearing the ale he ordered before the night had ended.

06/27/26

The Sagoths March

Out of the Umbral Swamps, the Sagoths march once again! After months of rudderless bickering following the slaying of Srith the Lizard Queen, the ape-men mouthpieces of the Mahar are now organized and on the move.

Editor's Note: The Mahar Faction hasn't had a human player behind it at any point in the history of UMBROS. A very cool BROSR member, this week, found this so absurd he asked to run the Mahar in the Faction Tier. This was sort of his introduction that the Faction now had a player. Back during Dubzaron I used to let Factions hide for a time and have players believe they were NPCs because it became so common for the adventuring party to use session play to kill off a faction leader. Because, when a DM controls a character, he simply plays them much worse than if they have a Player behind them like a PVP game. But I've decided this hiding whether a faction is PC or NPC isn't fun play and it creates extra work for the DM for negative return. Introduce yourselves!

06/27/26

Business at the Guild House

Despite dark rumors stealing forth from the depths of Glare Wood, business continued its steady course at the Guild House of Firsthaven. There the giant caravan wagons stood in formidable array, their lofty frames groaning beneath the ceaseless labour of loading. All manner of goods were heaved aboard while the air rang with shouts and the creak of ropes and timbers. Passersby paused to observe the spectacle, for it was a sight to stir any man with an eye for the world’s affairs.Runners darted through the narrower streets, calling at small shops and warehouses to purchase yet more wares and swell the growing cargo. Thus the currents of commerce flowed on, unheeding.Notably, one rubber-necked idler was heard to declare with rough eloquence: “I seen them swampers packin’ all manner of truck—even iron weapons, and some ’o that shiny armour they wear.”So it was that the ordinary pursuits of men pressed forward with undiminished vigour, while the shadow of unknown tidings lingered upon the edge of things.

Editor's Note: Seems like Diffusion right? The Merchant faction is buying or building something... Good thing he's not totally hiding behind a fog of war thanks to DM attention bottleneck. Thank you DM Serious for creating SEEN!

06/27/26

Weirding at Tootch's Tower but what else is new

The word on the canyon is that something happened in Tootch's Tower.

What that something is hasn't been clearly determined. Alchemy, magic, genetics, alchemigenetics, nobody is really certain.

What is certain is that Tootch seems unimpressed with the outcome and is pushing ahead towards an indeterminate goal that may spell disaster or glory for Inner Earth. Hell, it may spell 'fish and chips'. The rumor network isn't what it used to be, that's what all the oldheads are saying.

06/28/26

Preparations for the Arcane Fair

Preparations for the Arcane Fair continue to stir around the Purple Tower. Stalls for snacks and displays have started popping up all across Tootchtown offering all manner of the strange and definitely magical for the samplings of the peons in Umbros.

All is not smooth, however, as reports from within the reaches of the Purple Tower claim to hear the Eternal Magus making a racket as occasional streams of smoky letters drift from its heights. Some witnesses claim to have seen the words "diamond," "power," and "Elf" in various states of dissipation.

06/28/26

Hibobu Rides Out

It was but moments after the Homestone shed its blessed light upon Firsthaven that the massive doors of the Guild warehouse swung open with a ponderous groan. Forth rode the Guild Master, Hibobu, purple-robed and keenly alert, mounted upon one of his noble riding Thags. He led a heavily laden and well-guarded caravan toward the opened North Gate. Thus, parading into the bright morning, the wealth and might of the Guild were displayed for all to behold.Two great draft Thags immense wagons, while no less than seven war Thags bore archers in their colourful howdahs. Bringing up the rear came the handsome Captain Shulgi and the green-haired Hildaga, both seated upon their own proud riding beasts. The odd little spearmen rode their tigers along left and right of the column. So passed the procession, stately and imposing, into the open road beyond.

Editor's Note: I believe I have used SEEN to fix the Army Recon systems of other games. ACKS' system has too many rolls (check out "Winning Secrets 2" to learn more of my thoughts on this) to be useful. But I instituted a new campaign rule that Marching Armies must needs make a SEEN check (and possibly post) when their Armies "Head Out" and then when their armies "Arrive". If your SEEN post needs to be "Open" then you have to hint at your numbers and where you're heading to. You're also obliged to make a SEEN check if you're calling your banners to war. This will allow players with armies to get some sense of what sort of war preparation and marching their opponents (and allies) may be up to. So with that, myself and the BROSR have easily solved yet another big annoying gaming problem. "DND is a wargame" and "buy my stupid retroclone" dweebs have been yammering for years and have offered nothing this useful to making D&D A WARGAME. This discovery would have been the greatest gaming innovation of their lives, had they thought of it. For me, it was a Tuesday. You're welcome.

6/29/26

The Pale Stone Returns

The strange pale stone has once again appeared above the sacrificial temple in the Dawnlands. Reports of inhuman howling have increased and illness seems to strike with increased fervor and tenacity!

Disease checks for July will be made with a +4% penalty as blood sacrifices call Niflheim closer to Umbros.

06/29/26

Moriva Prepares Siege Engines

Travelers report a felling of trees in the lands held by Moriva. This, coupled with the noises of construction that can be heard at all hours of the night, imply that Moriva is undertaking some grand design. The intent is as yet unknown, but it is rumored that the lich intends to march on one of her neighbors and is preparing siege engines to that purpose.

06/29/26

Abner Perry Alive?! and changed...

Hushed rumors from runaway slaves of the Mahar tell of Abner Perry, somehow still alive, subject to the same experiments he performs on the unhappy victims who become the dwelvemen. But his outcome was different. Suddenly he was younger, more graceful, healthier, and... shorter.

06/29/26

Hibobu Speaks at the Ruined Temple

Hibobu climbs to the steps of the ruined temple and addresses the citizens. "Citizens of Firsthaven, Followers of the Homestone, our valiant Prince has gone to hunt the villian Ferigno. We pray for his success. In the meantime we are left with our temple damaged but not beyond repair. I Hibobu, Master of the Merchant's Guild vow to see the temple repaired and brought to it's previous glory. More glorious than anyone has ever seen! To that end, my personal engineer, Thadius Thrumple will direct any able bodied men willing to help in this holy work. I will pay any who volunteer 1 silver piece per week, plus one meal. I further pledge 1,000 GP for materials and skilled laborers. Work begins tomorrow. Present yourself to Thadius to be placed on payroll. The Homestone bless you all."

06/29/26

A Second Sun Over the Glarewood

In the days after the Battle of Firsthaven, rumors began to spread about a private council between Prince Ronan, Ironrider of Goldhold, and Coralynth the dragon. Cain & Hibobu were noticed taking part as well, yet leaving early with looks none too pleased.

Some days later, Coralynth rose from the waters with a newly fixed howdah upon her back. Ronan climbed aboard with Ironrider and some of his dwarven warriors. A robed magic user was seen joining them, carrying a shimmering magic staff. Stranger still, Coralynth was seen carrying a huge squid from the deeps, no doubt for some very serious purpose, or perhaps because dragons have their own ideas about what counts as sensible battle planning.

Then she flew northwest, toward the Glarewood. For nearly a day there was no word.

Then a great light bloomed in the sky over the Glarewood. Even that blinding forest was made dim by comparison. The sky flashed white and silver, and a thunderous boom rolled out over the trees.

Some wanderers and hairy men from the outer thorps say they saw it. They now talk in frightened and superstitious ways, as such men often do when they see something terrible and do not know whether to blame gods, wizards, dragons, or taxes. Some even swearing they heard Ferigno's terrible laugh echo behind the boom of the second sun.

Those who look northwest after dark say something still shimmers above the Glarewood. But no word has returned from Ronan, Ironrider, Coralynth or even the mysterious mage. The citizens of Firsthaven grow anxious and the most faithful of them gather at the ruined temple of the Home Stone with the prayers Ronan taught them echoing from dry lips. No word comes from the Stone, though the light still pulses at circadian rhythms. Even those men less faithful, in Firsthaven, are beginning to count their princes, allies, and hopes, and finding the numbers much smaller than they were before.

Editor's Note: Every week I make these posts and think "this is the Convergence and gaming moment that UMBROS will be known for because it's so wild and game changing". And every week my players top themselves. The ripples of this event with (probably) 2 Factions and a major PC being eradicated have already greatly impacted the campaign world of UMBROS. What do you do when the Lawful Good Paladin of the game world's Lawful Good city is gone? As a PC do you try to take advantage of it? If you're a Faction, do you try to march on the city and take it? If you're a thief guildmaster, do you try to take over the politics of the town? Who knows. Lots of options, though. Much better than Conventional D&D where your biggest choice is whether to play Angry Birds or Candy Crush between your combat round choices. 

06/29/26

A Minor Disturbance Over the Glarewood

High above the Glarewood, Ferigno flew on patrol when he noticed a strange form flying toward him. A bronze dragon carrying a giant squid with a half dozen humanoid riders.

“A squid…?”

One rider pointed his staff at Ferigno as the Wyrm let loose a Fireball.

“QUICK ABSORB IT,” Ferigno heard just before a multicolored fireball engulfed the crew, dragon, and giant squid.

“Hm… still got it.”

“Wonder who that was,” Ferigno said as he lay down for a nap. 

06/30/26

Moriva Marches East

The moment the light appeared in the sky over Glarewood, the black gates of Hel's Fortress opened. Cloaked in darkness, an army of the dead now marches East with Moriva at the head of this terrible host. Just before all light was snuffed out by some evil fulgue seeping from the Helrock itself, a glimpse of the force is seen of less than 100 undying things; skeletons, ghouls, and shadowy things called terms better forgotten by those of the living. Moriva's dark beauty glides among them. Crackling voices hiss "to Firsthaven".

Editor's Note: Another (possible, assuming it's not a lie or False Flag) hint at an army on the march. I have personally made D&D a Wargame for real, finally. Again, you're welcome.

Closing Note

This week the UMBROS campaign has essentially proven all my theories correct about the TOTAL NONSTOP BRAUNSTEIN. This campaign is historically good, "even with journeymen players", as one friend said to me. Yes, these players are ALL still learning. And, yes, some of their choices may have been tactically questionable (giant squid tossing?) but with TNB even midcard level play and choices from players will create the campaign of your dreams. Why are you still playing conventional D&D?