Introduction
A single session Braunstein (Type I) is designed for a single night of gaming. So it will, obviously, be short form. A Downtime Braunstein (Type II) is designed to go medium or long term, as per players' interests. Most such campaigns, such as the Moonstein, went just a few weeks as they were test of theory. And in one case these games were ran by Jeffro Johnson who will himself admit he has little patience to spend an excessive amount of time around gamers. It's the perfect design for the misandrist DM!
The "Always On" (Type III) Braunstein admittedly tends to burn GMs out. As explored in BROZER, UMBROS, and Winning Secrets; the "Always On" Campaign allows players to demand DM adjudication at all hours of the day. Like a clingy gf or Griff Morgan grasping for more of David Weseley's time. It gets old. Despite much consternation from lesser minds who are convinced of BROvenloft being the superior form of RPG gaming, its DM would disagree. Adjudicating the orders of a dozen clingy gfs every day burned him out on D&D so completely, he's not been able to scare up the energy or interest to run BROvenloft again; despite many Halloween seasons coming and going since.
That's why I created the TOTAL NONSTOP BRAUNSTEIN (Type IV). The TNB allows you to take the best elements of Types I through III without the need for the short form of Type I, the lack of session play in an exclusively Type II (like Drakonheim I) or the absurd DM burnout of an "Always On" Type III.
The TNB accomplishes this by having chained Session Braunsteins to revisit the world, regular Adventure sessions to train players into Braunstein Basics, and the Fog of War funpoasting of a Type III "Always On". But it's only on when the DM is at his best (weekly orders).
Now, the TNB of the current UMBROS campaign is evolving and improving even since I wrote the book on the subject. DM Serious's SEEN System has fixed a million problems that all Types of Braunstein's had prior to its invention. Each day I learn a new way to use SEEN to fix even more problems. Reading this blog's UMBROS posts will allow you to follow along with this evolution. Because it's cutting edge.
As such, there will be changes each day. Alas and alak, this cutting edge is a dangerous place to stand. It is seldom a profitable one. Especially when there are litigious stoners out there looking to sue you over the use of a word...
I wish Harmony Ginger well in the eventual crowdfunding of her "4X" game. She was quite magnanimous about encouraging her large follower base to consider backing "Winning Secrets"; so I'll not begrudge her eventual success. As I always do with Cirsova and Black Lodge Games, I will likely have a "give money to my friend" Quote-Tweet to the eventual announcement of the crowdfund. There are worse things overweight middle aged men can spend their money on (like similarly unfit wrestling fandudes who buy hot pink glittered Charlotte Flair t-shirts) than some not-Braunstein-Braunstein ruleset. So, give it a click when it drops.
But the Total Nonstop Braunstein form is not for sale. You can read my much longer form thoughts about this FOR FREE in PDF. You can purchase a softcover copy of UMBROS AT COST (meaning you are only paying for the paper and production; I don't make a red cent). And, as I said, you can keep up with this blog and see the evolution of these concepts. You won't even need to suffer through the stupid pop-ups one sees on substack; possibly the worst website ever designed. And I used to be on GooglePlus.
While Charlotte Flair sells alot more tshirts than Bret Hart, his impact on the business will live on in a particular way that inspires me more. He was execution over spectacle. And, like the Hart Foundation, the BROSR is in it for the honor and prestige. They were the wrestlers' wrestlers. Tshirt sales or no, their impact lives on. The BROSR's impact will live on. That's all I want for the real gamers out there. They're the ones who show up week after week to play in UMBROS, or Trollopulous, or games inspired by them.
The real gamers are rebuilding the culture step by step in a way which is far more successful than any whining about the woke race swapping in some hollywood slopfilm ever will. Small victories matter. They let you climb the card until you can become a Main Event talent. And, eventually, all of gaming will acknowledge the BROSR.
The fact that Harmony already does is a testament to her class. So buy her book when it comes out. But, until then (and even after then) you can play UMBROS for free. Maybe even with me, if you hit the gym first.
This had little to do with "This Week in UMBROS" but I think these amazing posts speak for themselves. It also proves how the TNB allows dynamic long form campaigns. If you don't want to play in a campaign with this news feed, I question your passion for D&D gaming. Enjoy!
7/19/26
The Marshes Assemble
Forlorn scenes predominated in the Umbral Marshes today, or so Bayou Kirashi drunkenly recounted upon arrival at Tootchville. Sweethearts reluctantly kissed their brave tribal warriors goodbye and beast handlers gulped nervously as they pondered providing for massive dinosaurs on the march.
At the heart of it all, a new figure predominated, to whom even the fierce Grundgru was subordinate. A tall, slender, and horned beauty, with fierce dark hair and features surprisingly familiar to those acquainted with the late Hooja: his daughter Kanya-Hooj'i, fruit of some liaison between the slain thief and some creature of unspeakable horror. The Umbral tribesmen look upon her with awe: somehow, even in death Hooja manages to escape complete annihilation. Or so spoke in if one is willing to endure the gutpunch of Ole' Bayou's Prime Time Shine.
Flight From Tootchville
Floydio, Marshall of Chaz and a band of elves were spotted making a beeline out of Tootchville today, apparently fleeing from some threat in the town itself. Who or what they tee'd off to be run out of town in such a hurry remains to be seen, but given the speed of their flight, it had to be quite dangerous.
Grundgru Returns
Grundgru the Free and a platoon of his men existed the Umbral Marshes last week, and marched off on some small errand. They returned several hours later.
7/21/2026
The Jalok Stampede
A rumor has been circulating about a massive herd of wild Jalok in the plains between The Glarewood and The Purple Hills. Most rumors agree that they are chasing something, but one tale claims it's a band of Dwelvemen on the run, while another says it's some innocent old ladies riding Thags. The truth is likely somewhat less fanciful, but I suppose we'll all find out when they arrive at Tootchville (if they are not devoured beforehand).
7/22/26
The Hel Delvers Return
The Hel Delvers return to Tootchville without Azkin the Elf in tow. Yet they curiously have his Mirror Shield and new StoneCold Axe. Many folk wonder if perhaps the Hel Delvers, tired of little reward and prize from their delving, decided to disappear the Elf and take his nice stuff. This would most certainly cause consternation among the village populace if Azkin was not so universally loathed.
The Monk Goes Shopping
Senehem the Monk was seen (most unusually) in the bazaar, engaged in that vulgar activity known as 'shopping'. This marks the first time a monk has displayed any interest in worldly affairs aside from fistfights. While he seems to have spent quite a sizeable sum, no one is quite sure exactly what he spent it on.
The Prince Triumphant!
Rejoicing in the streets of Firsthaven today as the dark cloud which has hung over the city since the death of Prince Ronan is lifted! Dru, the new Prince, bravely challenged the foul Lich Moriva to single combat. Though his guard fled at the sight of the Lich, Dru remained, fought the lich, and slew her. Witnesses report hearing an inchoate scream, though whether it was fury or pain or some orthogonal emotion experienced only in those modes of consciousness known when the cord that connects one to this mortal coil is stretched and frayed to the utmost but not quite snapped, none can say.
The army which lurks in the depths offshore Firsthaven has utterly quieted with no activity reported. Of Moriva, no trace remains.
Hail the valiant Dru, Prince of Firsthaven!
His Arcanity Withdraws
An edict is sent forth from the Tower of Tootch - His Arcanity is embarking upon a process that will require his undivided attention, and must not be disturbed. Anyone wishing for an audience will simply have to wait, or settle for speaking to an underling.
Onlookers have remarked that it appears the Home Stone itself is shining from the upper windows of Tootch's tower.
A Servant Won
The cleric kicked and clawed and bit and flailed against the vampire's iron-handed grip around his throat. He had come into this trap like a fool, and now he was going to die like a fool. The vampire brought the cleric in close until they were face to face. But instead of sinking his fangs into the cleric's throat, he placed a simple silver chain around the cleric's neck and released him. The cleric, a serene demeanor suddenly overtaking him, looked upon the vampire, knelt, and asked “What is thy bidding, my master?”
Bags From the Earth
Woodsmen report that they saw men digging up bags and boxes from a hole in the east of the Glarewood near the sea.
7/23/26
Five Days
The man was informed of the lich queen’s plan to overtake Firsthaven. A human sacrifice. The corruption of the home stone. A diabolical transformation. Five days from today. He signaled his compliance, and the dark one departed from him.
The Umbral Host Marches
The Umbral Wastes shake as the Umbral Marshes army emerges out from the Fog. A vast array of tribal warriors and fierce dinosaurs headed by the firey Kanya and the indomitable Grundgru emerge. Where they are headed, none can say.
Ferigno at Goldhold
Ranging peasants which sneak their way into the Dawnspires to hunt for shiny rocks among the streams report seeing Ferigno landing near Goldhold. What he was up to is anyone's guess but he appeared to be speaking with a shadowy sort of fellow dressed in all black, just outside the entrance to the dwarfhhome.
"That's a lot of holy water"
An agent of Grundgru passed by Tootchville today and commissioned a barrel of holy water from a local cleric. For what purpose, he would not divulge, but the cleric muttered something about “twisted my arm hard enough about the price.”
The Other Army
A pair of Umbral Tribe youths were overheard by passersby discussing some sort of other force that the Umbral Army encountered on its way through the swamps. "My dad said things ended peacefully, but not much else. I'm not sure how I feel having another army this close to home."
The Druid Explains
Dateline Tootchville. Reed the Druid seems to have been engaged in some project these last few weeks. When asked what he's been up to, the Druid replied thusly:
"Bin siechin oot t'ese 'duirible layl rates, grit lil crayers tey are. Paswayay soom tae tae' oop suirice wit me, 'ope t'ey kin brin sim kin wit em tui. Shid maek decent scoots'n'swirrmrs."
If he didn't want to tell us, he could just said no.
Secret Society in Tootchville?
Respectable members of society have of late been vanishing at night, only to turn up at work the next day as though nothing had happened. We have tried to ascertain what is going on, but to no avail: this organization, if it is one, has impeccable discipline in its members. Who they are, what they do, and what they want is completely unknown. Our only clue is a fragment of paper with the following written on it.
Don't talk about Fight Club.
Don't talk about Fight Club.
Severas Makes a Bargain
Severas (presumably in an effort to retrieve his pants) was seen entering the Tootchtville inn where the elfy minions of Chaz are known to be staying. A server at the inn reportedly overheard the whole conversation between him and Floydio, Marshall of the Host, and claims that a large reward of both gold and magic items was agreed upon if Severas and his friends assist Floydio in his revenge against the Sly Band, who apparently recently assaulted him.
7/24/26
Parley at Coralynthia
A ship was spotted anchored at the bay of Coralynthia, where a meeting of minds seemed to take place. After a horn blast heard clear across the bay, the merman king Vanimen emerged from the waves to meet the new comers. Some agreement was made, and one of the villagers boarded the vessel as it weighed anchor and departed.
No comments:
Post a Comment