This Week In UMBROS: 06/02/26 to 06/13/2026

Hooja grows old upon losing the
Home Stone shard...

UMBROS continues on as a TOTAL NONSTOP BRAUNSTEIN campaign using Advanced Dungeons and Dragons 1e. The following are reports, rumors, omens, proclamations, and tavern-whispers gathered from the campaign over the last stretch of play. 

Most of these are SEEN POSTS made after Downtime Orders are complete/adjudicated. But last week I also ran "Braunstein Session" (such as it was) as the DM and I played as the PC Azkin the Elf (T1/F1) in an Adventuring session where we delved a dungeon. So I was a PC playing (not DMING!) in the module I wrote. While also DMing the Faction Tier play in the same game world. 

As I stated today in the ACKS discord: all things may seem possible when it comes to people's D&D campaigns but BROSR campaigns like this have a great deal more of "we did this very cool thing". While non-BROSR campaigns have alot of talk of "wouldn't it be cool if we did this or that cool thing". Below are all things that DID happen in UMBROS. Or false rumors or even false flags about things that did happen...

The reports below are presented in date order.

06/05/26

Keen-eyed citizens of Firsthaven spot merfolk and the dragon Coralynth far out at sea. Her scouts probe closer to the shore to gather information about the unfolding conflict among the drylanders. If the circumstances are right, Coralynth and her children of the sea may involve themselves.

Editor Note: The guy who is trying to help me get UMBROS in print (I lost the master files somewhere along the way... and DTRPG's print shop is so difficult to send properly sized covers etc to. sorry!) has taken on the role of CORALYNTH THE SEA DRAGON. While some told me I should invite the wemmenz division champion to run this ridiculously feminine faction leader of a Love Dragon + Mermaids, my friend assured me he could do justice to the Faction without feeling silly. The faction was based off of Poul Anderson's "The Mermen's Children" (plus a dragon to be a foil to Ferigno) it does, frankly, seem easier to play this faction upon inspiration from various disney princess films. 

06/05/26

The human wizard who has been hanging around Tootchville for several weeks was spotted slipping out of town. When interested parties asked what he was doing, he responded: "Can't tell you. NDA."

06/05/26

A TRAITOR CAPTURED

Hooja the Sly was arrested around midday at the Water Buffalo Tavern and Flophouse by Prince Ronan and a cadre of soldiers. After troops surrounded the establishment, he attempted to slip out the back door and quaff an invisibility potion. Alerted by an agent of Ferigno, Prince Ronan tackled him, slathered him with honey and threw flour all over him, allegedly as an anti-invisibility measure, and definitely presenting an interesting sight. Inside sources say Ferigno ordered the double-cross in order to expand his domain into the Umbral Swamps. Hooja is being held upon a charge of sacrilege and attempted murder and awaits justice in an undisclosed location

Editor's Note: This was played out in real session play. Sadly the player of Hooja was not available to do session play; which would have been a fun little chess match between Ronan's player and Hooja's player. I invited other folks who showed up for my Session Braunstein to run Hooja but they declined by giving such excuses as "I'm busy", "I just wanted to listen in and not play", and "Hooja is the worst character of all time and I'd not be caught dead playing him". So I ran Hooja using the usual DM tricks of Reaction Checks, Thief/sneaking checks, etc. His capture was extremely unlikely despite the player himself, in downtime, making what I would consider some bad decisions that put him right in the crosshairs of Ronan and others.

But Ronan's plan to snatch Hooja from the Water Buffalo Tavern and Flophouse was very paladin coded (read: speak loudly and carry a bit stick. Read: kind of dumb) in that he marched up a small army on the tavern. I determined this would easily get noticed by a high level thief from just hearing dinosaur mounts stomp up. So I used Hooja's "Hide in Shadows" check to sneak out of the place and run off. But the player of Hibobu had done a downtime order where his totally-not-thief "girls" were watching the Flophouse. I allowed them to make a Spy check to see Hooja leave. They succeeeded. But Hooja had an invsibility potion which he quaffed to continue his escape. 

As you may know (probably not because no one but Jeffro has actually read all of 1e without ignoring the stuff they don't like), 1e allows a low chance to see through magic invisibility if you are high Intelligent and/or High Level. Ronan isn't super smart but he is high level, the only one with a shot to have seen invisible Hooja at that location. He has a 10% chance. I rolled it on a d100... and hit a 7. So as unlikely as it was, Ronan saw him. Quickly tackled him and tied him up. Thus ended my session play that night and this SEEN post.

06/05/26

Shortly after Hooja was dragged off by the Prince the Guild's warehouse doors were thrown open. On a riding thrag, Hibobu himself led a lethel parade to the North Gate. Bystanders counted 12 enormous war thags with their hoodahs in place. The 7 kitten litter of Sabre Toothed tigers led by the little dark skinned leader Imagi. Finally Hildaga now with pink hair in armor and Captain Shulgi in shining Broze armor. The group stopped near the gate. The Thrags waiting patiently. The Tigers circling and snarling also waiting but not so patiently. Hibobu climbs the wall standing among his archers he peers out judging the reaction of the siege to Hooja's capture.

6/6/2026

Ironrider Marches

The gates of Goldhold opened and a small army marched out, singing glad songs of bravery and death. The gruff voice of Ironrider rang out clearest of all, seemingly relishing the opportunity to leave the golden throne. The army moved southwards before observers lost sight of it.

Editor's Note: By way of practicing my adjudication of 1e wilderness travel rules, I ran this in the Braunstein Session. The player of the Dwarves was one of the few who showed up so I figured we could give some flvaro to his travel. I bet he wished it would have been done in solitaire play, where somehow all Players who run their own travel never hit the 70% chance of getting lost in the Forest, but alas it was me. And he got lost in the forest. ALOT. Over and over for days on end. Eventually arriving at his goal of... well I can't tell you because it's secret. 

6/6/26

An envoy from the mad wizard Tootch has been seen entering and exiting Prince Ronans palace this past week

06/07/26

Earlier today the Guild Master, Hibobu, could be seen walking along the northern wall followed by his Captain Shulgi and the 10 Elite Guard. The top merchant spent some time among his archers who have been standing the wall since Stinkbreath Ferigno arrived. He joked and back slapped the bowmen talking to each before descending once again entering the Prince’s palace. Some say the archers number 70 but most put the number nearer to 50. Either way that’s a lot of bodkins. In a somewhat related story, Hibobu’s "Shiny Guard" infantry took to an alley near his warehouse and drilled up and down. They practiced in a spear and shield wall, practicing the advance, falling back and turning corners. At one point they invited spectator boys to cast rocks at them while they formed an impressive testudo.

06/07/26

Unexplained anomalies at the Firsthaven Home Stone

“We have just completed our scheduled reconnaissance of the Firsthaven Home Stone, and the situation makes absolutely no tactical sense.
There was a strange, faint magical signature humming directly from stone’s location. Our scouts believe the stone is being hidden. We cannot definitively trace the origin, though the residue bears a frustratingly familiar, arcane frequency that some of our scouts associate with Cain.
Why would anyone—let alone a cleric pretending to hold the line—be slinking around the literal foundation of our domain under the cover of darkness?

6/8/2026

The forces of the dragon arrayed outside the walls of Firsthaven had, for these past weeks, menaced the city. While life had continued, the worried eyes of the women and children and the cautious glances of the men revealed the long shadow of terror that darkened their hearts. How much longer would supplies last? How much longer would the dragon wait, like a sabertooth tiger circling a thag’s calf, before finally he pounces?

A mammoth of a man stood before the Home Stone in its high tower. Sweat from his afternoon in the training yard dripped from his sinewy arms, yet this titanic warrior wept for the people of this city, for the people of this kingdom, even for those of the far places of the Umbral Lands. Darkness seemed to spring unending here, threatening to swallow whole everything good and holy. How could one stand against such darkness?

But the question never crossed his mind, only its answer. He lifted his great sword, its ivory blade gleaming in the Stonelight and spoke with a voice clear and resolute, heard by all nearby. “By strength, by steel, by spilled blood; for justice, for glory, for victory; this city will not fall. This light shall not fade. This torch will be carried across the Umbral Lands until every shadow is banished. This I vow.”

06/08/26

Reports of ravening ghouls encroaching from the West. Though they seem to have had a hard time finding prey, reports are filtering into the civilized regions with striking clarity. These ghouls have been enhanced by Moriva herself and move about shrouded in clinging darkness, seeking the flesh and blood of the living.

Editor's Note: I gave Moriva the Lich Queen faction to a guy who normally runs a low level PC. He said his PCs were "busy training so he wants something to play in downtime". Bet. Like players do he came up with a really weird use of resources by casting Darkness on some ghouls and sending them out to terrorize and bring more ghouls (and treasure?) back to him. Could be interesting! 

06/13/26

Living Large When You're Short

Azkin the Elf Thief/Fighter, recently of the Twilight Pines but now a member of the Hel Delvers was seen enjoying some moderately priced wine at the Goat House Tavern in Tootchland. Some say he was bragging on how successful the recent delve into Helrock was "thanks to me, yet I wasn't able to swipe any extra take from the place. Just an even cut, sad to say." Most rumors say he didn't get particularly drunk and boasts of "high constitution, despite my fun size."

Editor's Note: Azkin is my PC. I played him in a regular dungeon delve. It was pretty fun but I had a long list of suggestions for the other players on how they could suck less, the next day. Among the suggestions were "plan more" and "dont crosstalk the mic" and "roleplay more". All stuff that Gygax put in to last pages of the PHB, of which all the UMBROS PCs are supposed to have read. Did they... or did they ignore Gygax like everyone else for 40 years until Jeffro came around? idk but I hope our success continues and, with me as Caller, I'm certain it will!

06/13/26

Back to (Wizard) School

Serevas, the elven Magic User/Thief, was seen in the upper loft of the shabby barn many of the adventures of Tootchville call home between delves. The typically prideful elf was studiously pouring over his spell book and several arcane scrolls secured from Keblar in exchange for treasures found in the Hel Dungeon. He was also sporting a fancy silver broach on his cloak, which he insists contains powerful magics, though when pressed he was unable to explain what it actually does. The elf was last seen with a jingling sack of coins heading for Tootch’s Tower, no doubt looking to implore the tower’s master to teach him greater understanding of the arcane.

06/13/26

A Terrifying Creature

Residents of Tootchville report seeing an adventuring party return from the Hel dungeon, with an abominable creature in tow.

"Alive without breath..." "As cold as death!" "Ever staring, never seeing." "A decaying flesh, a hellish being..."

The whispers of the residents were quite the mystery. What could Tootch be doing with this...thing?

This Week in UMBROS: 05/25/26 to 06/01/26

UMBROS trots along.

I am running UMBROS as a Type IV Braunstein (Total NonStop Braunstein), which means the world keeps moving between dungeon delves. Players (some who control regular adventurers and some who control Faction Leaders) take actions between live sessions through Downtime Orders. Using SEEN, they send in rumors, omens, tavern talk, battlefield reports, and strange little flashes of life from the setting. Some are true. Some are half true. Some are what a frightened caveman swore he saw after three ales and a bad night.

I then post them, as is, into a news channel on the campaign Discord. Players reaction to this as they like in the subsequent week.

The UMBROS campaign has been running for a few months with an Adventure (dungeon delve) tier and a Faction Tier ran with Type II methods. This essentially creates a TNB! I haven't promoted the campaign much here but realize it might be time. 

Most of these news posts are from Players (using SEEN) and not edited by me at all. So the quality of prose is very spotty indeed!

Here is this week’s news from UMBROS.

5/26/26

Those passing by the Glarewood hear rustling within. One soul braving a peek in can see an army of vinelings being assembled. This army of over 70 vinelings looks ready to march out. One vineling was asked what was going on, but only responded with a low groan and tried to eat the wanderer.

Editor's Note: Astute players may have considered the fact that Ferigno was on the march. Some days later he's outside of the LG City of Firsthaven to set a siege! Always pay attention to the news channel!

5/26/26

No Greater Love

Underneath the roiling sky, beneath the ruined stone of the ancient temple, beyond the black and swirling cold, arrows flew and men died. Grark, covered in jackal blood, drove his spear into another as his battle brother Hurok slashed his blade through a jackal’s guts. Tyrone yelled something as he made his way back to the stairs, side stepping Durf’s body as he loosed a silver arrow into the half-skeletal priestess. The thing screamed in pain as the silver seared her flesh, but as Grark looked to Hurok it became apparent that they were thinking the same thing. The battle was lost, and Brokkar is not here.

As the Jackal Spirits and the towering priestess descended the fell stairs towards the pair, Grark interposed himself between Hurok and the oncoming foes. Once before, Grark had not been able to save his brother. Never again. Here he would hold, here he would win, or here he would die.

The fighting was fierce, for nearly an entire minute Grark held off the beasts. A Jackal Spirit lay at his feet, the smoking iron spear lodged in its ribs as the giant priestess lumbered within range of Grark, its horrible claws and skeletal features juxtaposed by the beautiful half-face of a woman yet equal in beastial ferocity. With the last of his strength, Grark launched himself towards the thing, his silver spear plunging deep into the creature as its claws tore through his flesh.

As Grark’s world went red, then black, his last thoughts turned to his friends, hopefully safe beyond the black, and to the Homestone, whose light he wished he could see one last time.

05/26/26

Rumor speeds from the West on Mercury’s winged feet.

At the moment the sphere appeared in the sky at the Eastern end of the continent, the shadows deepened in the West. A frenzy of activity has been reported in the Umbral Lands with reports of a long-buried empire awakening. It is said that this empire is digging for its ruins, seeking something since lost to the millennia.

Beneath all the disparate rumors, however, runs one common thread: for the first time in living memory, the black gates of the fortress of Hel’s Reach have opened.

The dread Lich Queen Moriva walks abroad.

05/26/26

Impatient Tootch

All morning, various golems were seen building a stage of sorts in the beautifully manicured lawn court of lavender grasses that stretch out at the front door to Tootch’s Tower. Around lunchtime, by the light of the Home Stone brightest, Tootch ascended the stage for a presentation. He cleared his throat as if to speak but then, instead, flicked out text from his finger which hung large above the stage like subtitles for those literate enough to read directly from the Mage himself.

Keblar stood next to his master and read out the words for those among the gathering crowd who could not read, which was most. Keblar’s half elven voice droned on with a nasal tinge.

“Peasants. I grow impatient of my need of more wondrous items from the Helrock dungeon. As such, I have researched a better entrance to the dungeon upon Hel’s Rock. The nearby moon pool has been adjusted, with but a gallon or so of Keblar’s elf blood, to teleport directly into the dungeon proper, thus avoiding the snowy wastes upon it entirely. You may thank me this boon by proceeding post haste to said dungeon and retrieving an item I wish, two globs of PRIMEVELL CLAY. I offer 10,000 GP if this is placed in my hand.

As this is to be found on LEVEL 3 of the dungeon, I will provide further boon. If you are a Magic User who has trained with me or my people in the past, you may borrow my Wand of Magic Missiles for THIS particular mission. If you are a new Magic User who I know and have not trained with me or mine, you may still borrow it, but Tootchland gets an adventurers cut of any treasure brought from Helrock in such a case. It is to be returned to me between delves. If you borrow this item on false pretenses I will know. And I will be very perturbed.

Good luck to all of you. Let not the blood of your former comrades weigh heavily on your mind. For it does not mine.”

Editor's Note: The PCs were getting a bit tired of the lethality of "The Hel Delvers", which is the Adventure Tier (or dungeon delve) portion of UMBROS. Sessions are played weekly and up until recently they were DMed by the most lethal BROSR DM in history: Dunder Moose! He's taking a break from DMing but you can check out his session reports to see just how many hapless level 1 PCs he killed on his mission to do DM Jeffro Johnson proud for proving that "PCs deserve less". In any case, I decided that PCs deserve... something... so I created this news story, and worked with the new DM to give PCs a bit of any easier path into the Megadungeon of Helrock and determined that Tootch the Archmage would help them a bit more to survive. We'll see how it goes and if the PCs will brave the megadungeon now that I've put training wheels on it.

05/26/26

Songs from the Sunless Shore

Songs sing from the waves which lap upon the sunless shore,
That Coralynth and her mermaids are thusly on the board.
Her good heart shines like the Core most shimmery,
But will she work with the Good aligned or keep hidden in mystery?

05/27/26

A Storm is Here

Adventurers were seen leaving Firsthaven in search of the missing ranger Brokkar, whose last known whereabouts were somewhere to the southwest of the city. Some say only Prince Ronan returned.

Witnesses as far away as Tootch’s Tower observed many different sights: a lightning storm, a rain of frogs, rivers running with blood, the inner world itself rumbling, and a huge sphere arcing fire out into the sky.

None can say for certain what happened, but none of these visions bode well for humanity in this dark time.

Editor's Note: This is the news report one player came up with for the Party's TPK this week. This may help explain why the Adventuring Players had the sads about campaign difficulty this week.

05/28/26

The Human Wizard who has been hanging around Tootchville these last few weeks has been seen taking evening walks throughout town these last few days. Yes, it has been a slow news day.

05/29/26

The Caravan Sees Trouble

The fog hung heavily over the Dawnspire Mountains as Hibobu’s merchant caravan departed from Goldhold with a shipment of weapons and ale bound for Firsthaven. Yet the distant clangs and rumbles of heavy machinery and the din of gruff voices shouting to each other could clearly be heard.

For just a moment, the light of the Homestone pierced the fog and the merchants glimpsed a warband of over two dozen moving along the craggy paths, pushing two ballistas over the rough terrain.

05/29/26

Firsthaven Besieged

The citizens of Firsthaven woke, rubbed their eyes, and thanked the Home Stone for another morning.

Then a shadow passed overhead.

They rushed to their windows and looked out to see a terrible sight. Ferigno and his army of vinelings were parked outside the city. Anyone wanting to get in or out of Firsthaven would need to get through the Great Wyrm first.

05/29/26

The Tiger Jockeys Make Themselves Known

The little dark skinned tiger jockeys caught some trouble in a Firsthaven pub until they made it clear that they were now under the protection of the Guild Master, not to mention their unruly mounts.

A lesson was learned in that tavern, though likely not the one intended.

05/30/26

Brokkar’s Dream of Glass

Brokkar’s face echoes from your dreams of glass. He breaks from the echoes into somber silence, the bloody implement clasped tight in his fist. Before him lies the sacrificial altar, the terrible cult arrayed around it. At their center, smiling with sadistic glee, is the Helpriest, Brokkar’s torturer.

He utters a single command.

“Come.”

All of Brokkar’s muscles relax. His mind and heart scream, but the body does not obey. Step by step he follows the finger of the Helpriest. First to be examined, then to the altar.

Above, at the center of the whirling clouds, is a single object. It appears as a stone in the sky, yet silver and white, gentle in its light.

Is it the sister of the Home Stone?

The implement drops to the ground with a small clatter as voices begin to rise. Brokkar’s mind reels, nausea sets in, the etchings across his body begin to flare with blue light, and a curved black dagger is raised.

Then it plunges.

Then darkness.

Edtior's Note: Brokkar was one of the Adventurers who died in the TPK. He wrote this cool little piece to me about it (while the other PCs just messaged me with "X is Dead") so I thought it deserved a spotlight, even though spotlight's ain't nothing but jive.

05/31/26

A Sailor Was Overheard in a Dockside Tavern

“I know what I saw. Them humans skulking on the beach was hunting for treasure, plain as day. One of ’em held a map while another was counting out the steps. Only, I saw ’em leave the beach, and then upon my return, there they were on a second beach further up the coast.

If only we could get a boat and some shovels...”

05/31/26

The Merchants Return

The merchants of the caravan bringing the second shipment of iron and silver weaponry from Goldhold to Hibobu returned to Goldhold looking much worse for wear.

They reported a warband of brigand orcs in the Dawnspire Mountains inhabiting an ancient ruined fort, from which they narrowly escaped.

06/01/26

The Second Stone

Swirling clouds gathered in the Dawnlands west of Firsthaven. In the deepest darkness, long after the Home Stone’s light faded, the sky broke apart and a thunderous shatter echoed for miles.

A circle of silver light soon appeared, as if an otherworldly beam cast its blessing upon all that basked in it.

The clouds soon widened to reveal an immense circular stone. A sister to the Home Stone? A sign of Hel’s dominion? An omen of war?

Observer accounts vary.

Some say they saw the face of Hel herself. Others saw a strange box of black and gold. Others still claimed to see their lost brethren and fallen heroes.

Hours later, the Home Stone’s glow returned, its soft light a small comfort as the dark clouds remained.

06/01/26

Hibobu Walks the City

Hibobu was observed moving about the city and visiting the palace more than usual. Lately he walks with Captain Shulgi and his ten Elite guards. All seem nervous and on their guard.

06/01/26

Statement from Goldhold

A letter was sent from Goldhold to Tootchville and Firsthaven:

“Orcs in the Dawnspire Mountains are disrupting trade. Pressing matters prevent Goldhold from taking military action in response. Goldhold seeks able bodied adventurers to locate and defeat the orcs.

1500 GP reward for the head of the orc chief and recovery of stolen goods, as well as admittance into Goldhold.

Cog Nostril need not apply.”

06/01/26

Hildaga Enjoys Herself

Seemingly unconcerned about events, Hildaga (Hibobu’s girl Friday), was seen buying new shoes and then treating her “girls” to a fine meal.

They were later seen tipsy and dancing in a pub.

Editor's Note: Civilization may tremble. Hildaga, apparently, does not.

06/01/26

Cain Awakened

The presence of monstrous activity awakened Cain from his meditative slumber in Firsthaven.

Cain was heard in fervent Norse prayer, sounding as if he were sending out a call:

“Ahl fah thir, ek bith thess aht thoo vay tir mair bloh tahn aht ay tha skree pum ee nahf nee thee noo.”

After some time, electricity sparked along the sides of the stronghold, and another booming, otherworldly voice was heard speaking Norse in response:

“Ek geff thair reh yin koon nah uhnd ahr hleeff.”

As electricity continued to arc up and down the perimeter of the stronghold, Cain was heard preparing a myriad of blessings and spells.

One witness at the scene claimed:

“I was just standing there minding my own business when I heard Cain’s wild voice sounding like a thunderstorm. I heard him saying something about preparing a Heroes’ Feast. I had no idea that dude could even cook.”

Editor's Note: I bullied this player into taking some action since he has been nonresponsive for weeks now. Bullying works, kids.

Closing Note

So ends this week in UMBROS.

Firsthaven is besieged. Tootch wants his clay. Moriva the undying is back. A second stone hangs in rumor and nightmare above the world. Cain has stirred, and when Cain stirs, wise men stop laughing.

Next week, we will see which rumors become quests, if Ferigno's Siege of Firsthaven continues (or is broken by bold men of Good!), and which adventurers decide that 10,000 gold pieces is worth walking into Hel’s basement with a borrowed wand and a prayer.