Timekeeping
Session was played on 11/16/22. PCs adventured for 7 days and need 1 day of rest so they can take actions again on 11/25/22.
Billy (L6 Explorer)(Neutral)[E]
Edelweiss (L5 Mage, Magical Scholar Template)(Neutral)[E]
MadEye (L7 Venturer, book nerd template)(Lawful)[E]
Tuck Burgidsen (L3 Barbarian, pit fighter template)(Neutral)[S]
Hench:
Edelweiss: Unnamed (L2 Dwarven Machinist, Engineer template)[S]
Tuck: Sihon (L0 human)[E]
Session Report
The PCs waited in the capital city of Dubzaron for two days for Billy and MadEye to arrive. They discussed some available hooks including saving Kortes the Explorer who was recently captured by green dragons while he was scouting out the New Badlands for Lairs for (Patron_ Legate Gaius. On 11/18/22 they left dubzaron with a few units of only cavalry mercs so they could travel fast; but they still hadn't agreed on a hook. Another hook was in the New Badlands to deal with a Chthonic cult but the PCs were worried they didn't have Xanthos or any cleric to deal with possible undead.
They traveled south past Turos Quelle and to the Fairy Forest just south of it passed mostly without incident, with the random encounter rolls being primarily animals which weren't hostile. They attempted to find some Treants MadEye was friends with in the Fairy Forest but they failed their Find Lair check. Seems the Treants, though slow, are always moving a bit.
Heading east into the New Badlands the party traveled to a forward operating base of sorts that was being built there for Gaius and MadEye. It was being led by Gaius's henchman Lancelot. He was THE Lancelot from the Aurthurian tales. He thought Kortes was simply out scouting but upon hearing the Explorer was seemingly captured he loaned out 2 or 3 platoons of Cavalry to MadEye and the gang to "go save Kortes!" The PCs set out the next morning with their merc numbers doubled as we tried to clean up the Order of Battle and assign commanders and Lieutenants properly. That's when I rolled FIVE vampires on random encounters.
Normally I'd just shrug and say "well it's 10 AM so there's no way the vampires can approach and attack the PCs. They must be watching them from a nearby cave. Oh well lets keep moving." But no! With the Curse Of Lamalla raging on, one of it's features is monsters normally hurt or slowed by daylight are not. The rest mists and blood rain clouds block the sun enough for said monsters! These vamps could operate with impunity.
The Vampires' reaction was pretty bad but not auto-attack bad. First there was a baying of wolves that weren't actually there. They approached the party as red mist (gaseous form) trying to get close to surprise the party and spook them. But the party had 3 PCs who are hard to surprise and it didn't work. The head vampire revealed himself with a grin as he flew around saying all the party needed to do was pay them off and they could go on their way. The party instead chose to run off in like 8 different directions so they'd be harder to chase in a Wilderness Evasion and maybe they'd also have someone, anyone, survive!
The head vampire took chase of MadEye and caught up with him and demanded 7,000 gp value as a bribe. MadEye, being a venturer & quite well off figured "better that than dead!" and gave the vampire a +2 shield which said monster sniffed and said held Chthonic power. He was impressed by the gift and allowed MadEye to go safely. MadEye, perhaps a bit foolishly asked for more info about the shield, being a curious cat, but the vampire was more bemused than annoyed with the line of questioning.
Elsewhere in the New Badlands a vampire wench took chase of Billy and caught up with him intending to eat him and all of the 15 cavalry he was commanding. She succeeded in killing the brave cavalrymen by punching them off their horses and draining their life until they looked like dead wood, but Billy wielded a magic sword against her and hurt her enough that she turned to red mist and flew away.
The party eventually found themselves back to Lancelot's base but it seemed 3 more platoons of cavalry, sent off without a PC to command them during the mad scramble to flee, may have gotten killed by the other vampires. Or captured. At this point the PCs realized they didn't have enough troops to go at the green dragons who they believed to be holding Kortes. Said dragons were served by a village of gnolls and the PCs needed troops to hold them off or kill before going at the dragons (or sneaking in).
So the PCs decided to head off northwest from Fort Apache and simply look for Lairs to knock down or at least map out for Gaius (or themselves) later. MadEye retired, feeling very bummed having to part with such a lavish gift to save his skin. The party quickly found an Orc lair with a single warband which was a bunch of mud huts without a wall of any sort. PCs, finally finding a target for their units of cavalry, attacked angrily and immediately. I made a Morale check to see if the orc Chief and his champions would run a Heroic Foray (dnd combat) at the PCs rather than letting them easily sweep over his troops. But Chief Cowwork decided to instead run away. Not the best move as, with so many cavalry at their disposal, the PCs were able to easily run down the chief, his shaman, his witchdoctor, and his 5 or so champions. Sad.
The PCs took about 30 orc prisoners back to Lancelot at Fort Apache since beastmen like ogres and hobs were being used for hard labor to build the palisade there. The amount of treasure in the small Orc village didn't knock the PCs socks off, and another player needed to log for the night, so we simply ended the session there.
Grading Thoughts
Best to worst grades: E, S, F, P
This was a weird one to grade since not much of anything actually happened as far as the standard Gygaxian grade impact pressure points. Billy was a proper explorer trying to use his navigation and escape skills to save the units he was commanding. So E.
Edelweiss did not hold off on casting spells when the opportunity arose. She also farmed orc bodies for magical parts and was greedy about the orc witch doctor spell book. So E.
MadEye was curious about the magic item discussion and also leaned on a financial solution to the problem. E.
Tuck was the hardest to grade and did nothing bold so that's 1 flaw so S.
DM Self Grade!
I'm adding a new feature to my session reports where I grade myself based on school grading (A, B, C etc).
I was not on my game on Session 81 as far as story and interesting scenes. We had long periods in Dubzaron (2 days!) which I should have given some flavor and rolled a couple of city encounters for interesting events. Additionally, I was uninspired by the random encounters that hit on the way to Lancelot's base and didn't give them any flavor or story hook for the PCs to riff off of. "Ok some hawks fly over..." is not the way a DM inspires players to greatness. Even with the Vampires I got so deep in the weeds with how to parse their reaction I didn't give them any descriptions or names. Later I tried to add that Billy's combat was with the head vamp's wench but it was too late. No description hook.
Also I messed up mechanically in a few ways: 1. the vampires should have gotten an attack routine as the PCs tried to flee. One must be at least DOUBLE the monsters moving speed away to Wilderness Evade with no attack received. The vampires were right on top of them! 2. I shouldn't have allowed Edelweiss to use Military Strategy / Quagmire rules to scout and approach the Orc lair. Those rules are to speed up downtime play. Session play should have your standard PCs schemes and shenanigans to approach and put eyes on a Point of Interest. This leads to fun moments. Lost opportunity. DM Grade: F
Deceased
Dama (L1 Venturer) played by RR. Current total xp: 75. DECEASED. Poison gas in Session 3.
Darius LeVay (L1 Assassin) played by JB. Current Total XP:451. DECEASED. Poison gas in Session 3.
Donald the Guardsman (L1 Fighter) played by MP. Current Total XP:570. DECEASED. Intra-party justice in Session 3.
Felix (L1 Thief) played by Nicholas. Current Total XP:431. DECEASED. Poison gas in Session 3.
Hektor (L1 Paladin) played by Moai. DECEASED. Cause of Death: goblin warg rider throat removal surgery in Session 2
Leonidas the Inquisitor (L1 Cleric) played by RR.Current Total XP:498 DECEASED. Frozen undead blistering cold aura left his skin frostbitten and broken in Session 6. Body not recovered.
Mard the Mage (L1 Mage) played by Nicholas. DECEASED. Frozen undead blistering cold aura left his skin frostbitten and broken in Session 6. Body not recovered.
Yolo Baggins "My friends call me Swaggins" (L1 Gnomish Trickster) played by J. DECEASED. Paralyzed and eaten by ghouls in Session 12. Body not recovered.
Jack Filcher (L1 Thief) played by C. DECEASED. Shot full of arrows by Inthorn's brigands in Session 12. Body not recovered.
Swoleous Maximus (L1 Paladin). DECEASED. Captured then drawn and quartered by Inthorn the Brigand warlord in Session 12. Posthumously named "Petty Hero of Turos Tem" by Legate Valerian. Ashes offered a place of pride in the Hospital.
Damianus (L1 Cleric). DECEASED. Captured and beheaded by Inthorn the Brigand warlord in Session 12. Posthumously named "Petty Hero of Turos Tem" by Legate Valerian. Ashes offered a place of pride in the Hospital.
Bucky (L1 Barbarian). DECEASED. Became a illegal pit fighter during his downtime. Had two bouts to the death, winning the first and losing the second. Was killed by Young Jack Sparrow who sashayed into the ring, drank rum, and mogged on Bucky before putting a dagger into his ribs, killing him. This happened during downtime between Session 17 and 18.
Broll Wolf-Eater (L1 Barbarian). Current total XP: 1079. DECEASED. Carried off by harpies after falling for their enchanting song in Session 19.
Brother Franklin (L1 Cleric). DECEASED. Decapitated by a mad cultist of a Lovecraftian slime thing in Session 19.
Felix the Elder (L1 Bard). Total XP 825. DECEASED. Captured by mad cultists and fed to a Lovecraftian slime monster in Session 19.
Templar Flavius Africanus (L1 Cleric). Total XP 7. Killed by the claws and beak of mad harpies in Session 19.
Xendi (L1 Explorer). Total XP 6. DECEASED. Carried off by harpies after falling for their enchanting song in Session 19.
Yllmeeton (L3 Shaman). Total XP 4,563. Bludgeoned by the corpse of a bowmen by Rosie Odonnel hag in Session 21.
Longinus (L2 Assassin). Total XP 2,036. Had his face ripped off by Rosie Odonnel hag in Session 21.
Mandonio (L3 Fighter). Total XP 4,779. Charred to a leprous crisp by diseased Dragon breath in Session 22.
Corydon (L1 Joker). Total XP: 0. Burnt to a crisp by chimera breath so thoroughly his corpse wasn't even fit for the crows. Died with a smile on his face and a song in his heart. that's life and as funny as it seems... some people get their kicks, stomping on a dream... In Session 25.
Donny Keebler (L1 Elven Spellsword). Total XP 2,238. Had his legs burned completely off by chimera fire breath in Session 25.
Marina (L2 Fighter). Total XP: 2,204. Burnt into ash by a chimera fire breath in Session 25.
Gundro (L2 Gnomish Trickster). Total XP: 2,575. Had his mouth and tongue bitten off by a lizardman ambusher in the dank sewers below Cyfaraun in Session 26.
Polydoros (L1 Fighter). Total XP: 0. Had his legs ripped off and eaten by Akira monsters in the dark canopy of the Viaspen Forest in Session 28.
Odrum (L1 Explorer). Total XP: 287. Javelin to the heart from the hands of weird vine goblins hidden in the walls of Ferigno's lair in Session 30.
Garvin the Nutless Wonder (L1 Mage). Total XP: 0. Fell off the side of Ferigno's lair 20 feet to his death in Session 30.
Blackmoon (L1 Assassin). Total XP: 768. Choked to death by BOB from Twin Peaks while stealing treasure from Ferigno's dragon horde in Session 30.
Xanthus (L2 Cleric). Total XP: 2,364. Choked to death by BOB from Twin Peaks while hanging out on the roof of Ferigno's lair in Session 30.
Lord Zyklon (L1 Elven Spellsword). Total XP: 0. LORD ZYKLON DISEMBOWLED LORD ZYKLON upon finding himself on the losing side of the Desolation of Turos Tem.
Turin (L1 Cleric). Total XP: 0. Eaten by Wargs in Session 32.
Rat Face (L2 Thief) Total XP: 1,577. Seemingly grabbed in the dark by a Xenomorph in Session 36. In a sinkhole your party can hear you scream!
Smarticus (L1 Mage) Total XP: 0. Captured by a Xenomorph in Session 36 for all the party to witness. Taken deep into a sinkhole.
Hearticus (L1 Cleric) Total XP: 0. Gored to death by giant horned beetles in Session 39 after projectile vomiting all over himself from the stink of sewer sludge.
Mickey Mouser (L1 Thief) Total XP: 0. Gored to death by giant horned beetles in Session 39 in the happiest place on earth: the Cyfaraun sewer!
Aenes (Level 1 Paladin) Total XP: 62. Swarmed by giant flies in the sewer beneath Cyfaraun in Session 40.
Acianus (Level 1 Mage) Total XP: 0. Chopped to pieces in Session 42 by a six armed demon statue from behind and quickly forgotten about by his compatriots who saved MadEye and lamented Hardar instead. But I'll never forget you Acinanu nanu...nanite... nananaa...
Hardar (Level 2 Mage) Total XP: 2,832. Chopped up in Session 42 by a six armed demon statue as he held his Darth Vader Choking Grip spell long enough for his compatriots to escape an unwinnable battle. His dream to become the most evil being in the universe suffers eternally the indignity of being remembered for self sacrifice and laying his life down for his friends.
Nubbs (Level 3 Thief) Total XP: 4,017. Swarmed by scarabs which bored into his ears and brain in Session 45.
Grummz (Level 1 Dwarven Vaultgard) Total XP: 0. Ripped limb from limb by a throng of skeletons and their undead golem leaders in Session 46.
Grommzs (Level 1 Dwarven Vaultguard) Total XP: 2,168. Torn to bits and eaten by trolls in session 48
Rapunzel (Level 4 Priestess) Total XP: 11,540. Torn to bits and eaten by trolls in Session 48.
Schizo (Level 1 Mage): Total XP: 0. Frozen to death by an assassin's guild ruffian bard wielding a Wand of Cold in session 54.
Marteen (Level 1 Thief): Total XP: 0. Fell to his death in Lamalla's Temple upon a pile of dragon horde gold. Corpse eaten by Sheila the Beautiful, an Ancient Blue Dragon in session 56.
Ambrose (Level 2 Cleric): Total XP: idk. Strangled to death by cursed octopi in a canoe on Lake Laman claiming the Sinister Stone of Sakkara for Law and eventual destruction in session 63.
Traiticus (Level 9 Fighter): Total XP: alot. Head split in half by Froggo's bronze magic "Fren Axe" during Operation Muscle Thunder on 08/09/22.
Alina (Level 7 Mage). Cut in half at her belt line by Froggo's bronze magic "Fren Axe" during Operation Muscle Thunder on 08/09/22.
Olgar McKenzie (Level 5ish Barbarian). Soul eaten by Stormbringer wielded by the Manson the mad assassin during Operation Muscle Thunder on 08/09/22.
Celeste (Level 7ish Witch). Soul eaten by Stormbringer wielded by the Manson the mad assassin during Operation Muscle Thunder on 08/09/22. Said Ancient Soul caused a backfire effect and blasted Manson's face off leaving him dead in the sea foam.
Allen A'Dulles (Level 1 Bard): Petrified by a basilisk in the Meniri Mountains in Session 66.
Cyfaraun (Level 1 Elven Spellsword): Eaten by basilisks in the Meniri Mountains in Session 66.
Tamryn (Level 1 Elven Spellsword): Petrified by a basilisk in the Meniri Mountains in Session 66
Allen the Bard (Level 1 Bard): Petrified by a basilisk in the Meniri Mountains in Session 66.
UnNamed Venturer (Level 1 Venturer): Killed by astral demons and sucked into the vacuum of spacetime in Session 66.
Major Garland Briggs (Level 1 Explorer): Killed by the crossbow bolt of an angry thracian in a dormant (?) volcano dungeon called Queens Rest Mountain. Then his body was eaten by giant chameleons as the rest of the party made their escape in Session 73.
Autumn Leaves (Level 1 Elven Spellsword): Died to lizardman crossbow bolts to the tears of her adventuring compatriots who tried to revive her after absconding with her corpse just outside Queens Rest Mountain in Session 73.
Xanthos (Level 6 Cleric): Cut down by a flaming blade by a very powerful thracian lizardman below Queens Rest Mountain in Session 74. Ressurected about two weeks later.
Stormin' Norman (Level 1 Gnomish Trickster): Captured by the lizardman tribe below Queens Rest Mountain whilst trying to use illusionist tricks to steal a magic spear. Was subsequently fed to their Giant Chameleons for being an annoying gnome in Session 74.
Alexa this is so sad play "Dracula's Wedding" by Outkast
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