ACKS Session 42: Grab Undeath by the Balls

This session was played on 01/19/2022 with PCs adventuring for 2 days. With 1 day of bed rest needed as per ACKS rules the PCs can adventure and make downtime requests on and after 01/22/2022.

Foreword

I apologize for the crass title of this session report but I promised my players I'd make this silly pun.

Session Report

The PCs all started the session in the city of Cyfaraun and wanted to delve the sewers... again. They entered the sewers into a deceased syndicate leader's former hideout where they scored big recently. Their main plan appeared to be to finish mapping out the hideout so Laru (PC Thief level 4) can eventually use the space for his own syndicate shenanigans. Laru's Player wasn't even adventuring this session so this really was the other players helping him out and helping to move the thief's long term goals forward. 

My players are givers. Very helpful, fellas.

The sewer dungeon hideout thing is a pretty big place. They had mapped out about half of it the last couple sessions and went about wrapping up the rest tonight. I was using my rules for ReStocking on the Fly since the PCS were through many places they had already been. This ended up meaning quite a bit more hits on the random encounter chart.

By the time they decided to finish up this delve and were happy with their map, they had fought a clutch of giant centipedes, a green slime and a rat swarm. The swarm gave them the most trouble and it was as they were leaving to go back up to the surface. Hundreds (or thousands?) of rats came barreling down the dank hallway crazily and knocked down Odilia (hench to MadEye, Fighter Level 1) and ate her face. 

The PCs went to hacking up the rats and eventually killed enough of them where they were no longer a threat as a swarm. Odilia wasn't killed thanks to Olivier (PC Paladin level 1) and Rapunzel (PC Priestess level 3) healing and saving her from oblivion. But Odilia was going to need a week of bed rest before making further adventure. They carried her up to the service and found her a place to rest and also rested themselves.

The next day Rapunzel wanted to lead an expedition into the Nethercity. This is a dungeon BENEATH the sewers beneath the city. They went there to save Marn (PC Mage Level 3) a VERY LONG TIME AGO back on May 21, 2021. They were in and out of the dungeon as fast as possible and have showed very little interest of ever going back. 

But, thanks to Patron play, they had a treasure map into the place that they had bought from who they are calling MapGuy; Rene (Patron Controller of a Syndicate Map Finder ...place... or something). The treasure map was believed to lead to treasure of around 3,000 GP in value iirc. that would probably be in this evil chapel.

the players clown on my maps but
my maps are awesome

Rapunzel's player actually took the lead as Caller, which isn't the normal social makeup of our virtual table. I suggest trying this with your table; having the most gung-ho player for that session's goal take the Caller lead. Rapunzel the PC was more animated in laying out the goal and plans than a less emotionally invested Caller might have been. More fun session thanks to it.

Anyway the Party got through the sewer without any deaths or random encounters to the entrance into the Nethercity. Descending some stairs in an old busted up elf gazebo which now resides under the Old City latrines, disgusting sludge cascaded in front of the Party so they hugged the wall.

The stench had a few of them feeling sick (-1 to attacks and such) but they kept on, eventually coming to a series of natural caverns snaking through the earth. Most were pooled with the sewer sludge and very large swarms of vermin were feeding on it. Some DMs have told me this Module is too slow because of all the vermin everywhere being a slog to fight through. But I normally rule that if some bugs don't have a hostile reaction they're probably not going to get bent out of shape and attack some humans that are just moving through their room. Unless their nest is disturbed or whatever.

So none of that happened and the Party got through the vermin caves without any combat, ascending to a natural balcony overlooking the long chamber of sludge. Gross.

They moved north, following the map and entered a temple complex thing. There were tiled black floors and plaster walls. Bas reliefs (HPL says "avoid!"), murals, and wall graves were everywhere along the passages. They came to a chamber with a black stone status of a god or demon or something with 6 arms. MadEye (PC Venturer level 2) identified which deity I think, but I don't remember the details. 

The party did not approach the statue or touch it. Instead they passed through the room to the Warlord's Chapel. What warlord? idk. THE Warlord, pal. Don't worry about it.

Here there was black marble flooring at a gallery that opened into an apses. Carved stone column supported each corner of the transept near a four stepped dais in the middle of the apse. There was a gray marble altar stained with black drippings and marked by cuts and slashes. On either side of that sat statues of 2 black jackals.  

The players started searching around for treasure since this is the room the map apparently led to. Rapunzel cast Protection from Evil on the assumption the jackal statues would come to life and attack. Hardar (PC Mage level 2) and Nubs (PC Thief level 3) pushed the altar and found that it was designed to slide and reveal a hidden compartment below full of treasure. Looting began and the Lawful PCs like Olivier (PC Paladin level 1) and MadEye were working on defacing the altar to nab some sweet XP for cleansing the place of altar style evil.

That's what made the stone jackal things inevitably wake up. They started moving about and seemed to no longer be stone. They had a halo of fire around them and seemed to be able to control it to attack freely on top of their normal scratch and scrapes.

But they couldn't attack at all as long as Rapunzel concentrated on Protection from Evil. So the Party finished defacing and cleansing the altar with no interference. This seemed to weaken the creatures who Rapunzel had time to study and realize were undead. Then she dropped the Protection from Evil spell and the party attacked.

I don't remember the details of the fight but no one died. It ended when Rapunzel successfully Turned Undead on the jackals and then the other party members beat them to smithereens. Easy.

While the party finished looting the treasure MadEye made a point that he wanted to study some Blue Orbs that were found because they might be magical and useful in this section of the dungeon or something. The players started calling them Blue Balls and you can imagine how the jokes went from there.

There was alot of other jewels and gems and coins in the treasure horde. On the way out to escape the dungeon with it is where things went sideways. The evil 6 armed demon statue thing came to life as the party tried to pass through its room on the way out. It didn't surprise them as per the rules but it did get a pretty high initiative and attacked the party from the back.

It easily dispatched Acianus (PC Mage Level 1), some henchmen of Rapunzel (RIP) and MadEye. Most all the PCs fled the room and barred the door to the next room shut, Olivier holding on to the handle to keep the 6 armed abomination from getting to them. Normally PCs would have cut their losses, poured out one for their lost homies, and left the dungeon. 

But MadEye had the Blue Balls. And Nubbs saw the monster take them back off the Venturer.

Debate raged. Should they go back and save MadEye (meaning, acquire the Blue Orb treasure they assumed was valuable) or should they just leave it. The monster had them spooked. 

bapbook out how long?

Eventually they had a harebrained plan and opened the door as suddenly as they could. Nubbs slipped into the room under the legs of the monster while Olivier stood and fought it in melee. His plan was "to grab the monster's blue balls". I sighed. 

But Nubbs rolled a Pickpocket check to try and nab the Blue Orbs off the monster... and rolled a natural 20. "I've got the blue balls!" he declared proudly as he slipped back into the marching order of the party and to safety from 6 armed attacks. He posted this picture in the chat and I grabbed a drink while the players laughed uproariously for like 8 minutes.

Hardar cast Choking Grip on the monster and amazingly enough it failed to save. This would keep it paralyzed for as long as Harder concentrated or until the creature succeeded at a saving throw chance at the start of each combat round.

Some PCs made attacks on the creature and realized it could only be hit by magic weapons, which this party had zero of. Oh no. They started to plan their retreat. Someone pull MadEye's body to safety and ran off with him on their back. Nubbs was long gone with his Blue Orbs laughing and planning his evening of revelry like Gray Mouser or Cugel the Clever.

Hardar tried to hold the Choking Grip spell long enough for everyone to disengage from battle and get out of danger. Unfortunately, that's when the monster made it's saving throw. The last thing the fleeing adventurers saw was Hardar getting chopped to bits by the six armed demon statue thing as they closed the door behind them and hoofed it through the dank sewer dungeon and back up to the service 

The rest of the party escaped with the treasure and the balls and we called it a night. It was a solid haul despite two PCs losing their life and one other (MadEye) taking a serious Mortal Wound wherein he lost the use of his legs completely. He'd need two weeks of bed rest to adventure again (with a combat wheelchair? Check back and see!)

Afterword

In my campaign we use randomly rolled Class Templates from the ACKS Player's Companion. Hardar's template was Necromancer so the player decided to play him up as the most evil Mage possible. After dying so the other PCs might escape the 6 arm demon thing the players started to realize he may not be evil after all. But in fact be the most Good of them all!

But Hardar's master and arcane teacher, Zealotor (NPC Mage Level ???) did NOT agree! He had an opulent funeral where he invited "those who knew Hardar to come forward and share reminiscences of this malicious and cruel soul". So beautiful!

He went on that "Hardar's lust for life (both living and taking it) will not be forgotten... Hardar could not realize his dream to become the most evil being in the universe (by murdering all the other evil beings. This saddens me most of all."

This beautiful tribute where many PCs and Patrons shared their memories and hate of Hardar can be found in its entirety on the tw11tters at this link. Be sure to bring some tissue for those misty eyes.

Surviving PCs Present

MadEye (5% XP bonus): Venturer Level 2. XP Gained 1,048 + 105 for evil altar destruction. Total: 3,652 [LEVEL UP TO 3!]

Nubbs (5% XP bonus): Thief Level 2. XP gained 1,048. Total: 3,547 [LEVEL UP TO 3!]

Olivier (5% XP bonus): Paladin level 1. XP gained 1,048 + 105. Total: 1,170

Rapunzel (10% XP bonus): Priestess level 3. XP gained 1,097 + 110. Total: 7,408

Deceased

Dama (L1 Venturer) played by RR.  Current total xp: 75. DECEASED. Poison gas in Session 3.

Darius LeVay (L1 Assassin) played by JB. Current Total XP:451. DECEASED. Poison gas in Session 3.

Donald the Guardsman (L1 Fighter) played by MP. Current Total XP:570. DECEASED. Intra-party justice in Session 3.

Felix (L1 Thief) played by Nicholas. Current Total XP:431. DECEASED. Poison gas in Session 3.

Hektor (L1 Paladin) played by Moai. DECEASED. Cause of Death: goblin warg rider throat removal surgery in Session 2

Leonidas the Inquisitor (L1 Cleric) played by RR.Current Total XP:498  DECEASED. Frozen undead blistering cold aura left his skin frostbitten and broken in Session 6. Body not recovered.

Mard the Mage (L1 Mage) played by Nicholas. DECEASED. Frozen undead blistering cold aura left his skin frostbitten and broken in Session 6. Body not recovered.

Yolo Baggins "My friends call me Swaggins" (L1 Gnomish Trickster) played by J. DECEASED. Paralyzed and eaten by ghouls in Session 12. Body not recovered.

Jack Filcher (L1 Thief) played by C. DECEASED. Shot full of arrows by Inthorn's brigands in Session 12. Body not recovered.

Swoleous Maximus (L1 Paladin). DECEASED. Captured then drawn and quartered by Inthorn the Brigand warlord in Session 12. Posthumously named "Petty Hero of Turos Tem" by Legate Valerian. Ashes offered a place of pride in the Hospital.

Damianus (L1 Cleric). DECEASED. Captured and beheaded by Inthorn the Brigand warlord in Session 12. Posthumously named "Petty Hero of Turos Tem" by Legate Valerian. Ashes offered a place of pride in the Hospital.

Bucky (L1 Barbarian). DECEASED. Became a illegal pit fighter during his downtime. Had two bouts to the death, winning the first and losing the second. Was killed by Young Jack Sparrow who sashayed into the ring, drank rum, and mogged on Bucky before putting a dagger into his ribs, killing him. This happened during downtime between Session 17 and 18.

Broll Wolf-Eater (L1 Barbarian). Current total XP: 1079. DECEASED. Carried off by harpies after falling for their enchanting song in Session 19.

Brother Franklin (L1 Cleric). DECEASED. Decapitated by a mad cultist of a Lovecraftian slime thing in Session 19.

Felix the Elder (L1 Bard). Total XP 825. DECEASED. Captured by mad cultists and fed to a Lovecraftian slime monster in Session 19.

Templar Flavius Africanus (L1 Cleric). Total XP 7. Killed by the claws and beak of mad harpies in Session 19.

Xendi (L1 Explorer). Total XP 6. DECEASED. Carried off by harpies after falling for their enchanting song in Session 19.

Yllmeeton (L3 Shaman). Total XP 4,563. Bludgeoned by the corpse of a bowmen by Rosie Odonnel hag in Session 21.

Longinus (L2 Assassin). Total XP 2,036. Had his face ripped off by Rosie Odonnel hag in Session 21.

Mandonio (L3 Fighter). Total XP 4,779. Charred to a leprous crisp by diseased Dragon breath in Session 22.

Corydon (L1 Joker). Total XP: 0. Burnt to a crisp by chimera breath so thoroughly his corpse wasn't even fit for the crows. Died with a smile on his face and a song in his heart. that's life and as funny as it seems... some people get their kicks, stomping on a dream... In Session 25.

Donny Keebler (L1 Elven Spellsword). Total XP 2,238. Had his legs burned completely off by chimera fire breath in Session 25.

Marina (L2 Fighter). Total XP: 2,204. Burnt into ash by a chimera fire breath in Session 25.

Gundro (L2 Gnomish Trickster). Total XP: 2,575. Had his mouth and tongue bitten off by a lizardman ambusher in the dank sewers below Cyfaraun in Session 26.

Polydoros (L1 Fighter). Total XP: 0. Had his legs ripped off and eaten by Akira monsters in the dark canopy of the Viaspen Forest in Session 28.

Odrum (L1 Explorer). Total XP: 287. Javelin to the heart from the hands of weird vine goblins hidden in the walls of Ferigno's lair in Session 30.

Garvin the Nutless Wonder (L1 Mage). Total XP: 0. Fell off the side of Ferigno's lair 20 feet to his death in Session 30.

Blackmoon (L1 Assassin). Total XP: 768. Choked to death by BOB from Twin Peaks while stealing treasure from Ferigno's dragon horde in Session 30.

Xanthus (L2 Cleric). Total XP: 2,364. Choked to death by BOB from Twin Peaks while hanging out on the roof of Ferigno's lair in Session 30.

Lord Zyklon (L1 Elven Spellsword). Total XP: 0. LORD ZYKLON DISEMBOWLED LORD ZYKLON upon finding himself on the losing side of the Desolation of Turos Tem.

Turin (L1 Cleric). Total XP: 0. Eaten by Wargs in Session 32.

Rat Face (L2 Thief) Total XP: 1,577. Seemingly grabbed in the dark by a Xenomorph in Session 36. In a sinkhole your party can hear you scream! 

Smarticus (L1 Mage) Total XP: 0. Captured by a Xenomorph in Session 36 for all the party to witness. Taken deep into a sinkhole.

Hearticus (L1 Cleric) Total XP: 0. Gored to death by giant horned beetles in Session 39 after projectile vomiting all over himself from the stink of sewer sludge.

Mickey Mouser (L1 Thief) Total XP: 0. Gored to death by giant horned beetles in Session 39 in the happiest place on earth: the Cyfaraun sewer!

Aenes (Level 1 Paladin) Total XP: 62. Swarmed by giant flies in the sewer beneath Cyfaraun in Session 40.

Acianus (Level 1 Mage) Total XP: 0. Chopped to pieces in Session 42 by a six armed demon statue from behind and quickly forgotten about by his compatriots who saved MadEye and lamented Hardar instead. But I'll never forget you Acinanu nanu...nanite... nananaa...

Hardar (Level 2 Mage) Total XP: 2,832. Chopped up in Session 42 by a six armed demon statue as he held his Darth Vader Choking Grip spell long enough for his compatriots to escape an unwinnable battle. His dream to become the most evil being in the universe suffers eternally the indignity of being remembered for self sacrifice and laying his life down for his friends.

Alexa this is so sad play Luke Bryan "Drink a Beer" in honor of Hardar. so looooooong my friiiiend till we meeEEEeet agaaaaaain

RIP Hardar the Evil Mage
2022-2022

ACKS Session 41: Hydra Hunt! [or, How Patron Play Changes Everything]

Session was played on 01/12/22 with PCs adventuring for 10 days. Needing 1 day of rest, PCs can adventure and make downtime requests on and after 01/24/22.

Session Report

Team A started out of Turos Spen where they gave the Shield of Stone to Legate Drakon (Patron domain ruler and Fighter level ???). This was part of an agreement they made with the Patron player in downtime a while back to bring that magic item to him in exchange for the Treasure Map that led to where it (and other treasure) was found. 

I point this all out to show one positive way that Patrons impact player decisions. If the Patron hadn't acquired and sold the PCs that treasure map then Session 38 would have been totally different. The Patron essentially created a hook. Saving me the trouble of making me one. 

Additionally, the PC's goal this session, as far as I could gather, was to meet with Legate Victir of Turos Luin (NPC Domain ruler and Fighter level ???) about a mission he had. Said mission was to kill, capture, or recon a lizardman chief called The Scaled King (Patron Lizardman) who had recently given him and Turos Quelle trouble. Legate Victir is an NPC but his hook was created directly from responses to the action of the Scaled King Patron guy.

It took the party a few days to get to Turos Tem where they met up with Legate Acastus (Patron domain ruler and Fighter level ???). They were curious to get a sense of the new-ish Patron and how things were going in Turos Tem since the Desolation. 

As I laid out in my Essential Guide to Patron Play, the DM will need to roleplay the Patron character as an NPC if the PCs meet with him during session play. And that's just what I did. The guy was effete with a bit or rouge and refused to entreat with any PCs of the cloth (Clerics, BladeDancers, Paladins etc). Suffice it to say the PCs found this odd indeed. Coupled with the fact that Acastus has failed to rebuild the Temple since the Desolation of Turos Tem and PCs certainly had their concerns about the guy.

Even so, Acastus was pretty forthcoming about recent events and his thoughts on Legate Victir of Turos Luin; calling him a bit of a warmonger but otherwise quite polite and helpful.

follow along!

Recent news was that the Scaled King had raided Turos Quelle and stole its flat bottomed skiffs, absconding with them into the Viamir Marsh before the garrison of Turos Quell could stop them. Players were hoping to look into this situation. But by the time they got to Turos Luin and spoke with Legate Victir some days later, events had changed again!

The rumor mill by this time had the following going around: "The Scaled King came from the Viamir Marshes after darkness fell on 01/11/22 with over 600 troops of lizardmen, skeletons, and some vampires and quickly overwhelmed the garrison of Turos Quell. Peasants report the Scaled King intends to occupy the Legature and has commanded the peasants to fall in line under his new rule."

PCs were shocked. Since the session proper started on 01/12/22 I decided this info wouldn't have become common knowledge around the region yet. But they didn't arrive in Turos Luin until 01/17/22, six days later, after Turos Quell was captured. So I reasoned they would actually hear about this major Patron action mid session!

This is how Patron play changes everything. Prior to learning about this PCs were discussing how they might go scout out the swamp and the Scaled King's village. They've been wanting to hit this location for a while since they believe it's where Dairin the Mage (Deceased Patron Mage Level ???) lost treasure is. 

But now it's rumored the lizardman chief has 600 or more warriors under his charge. Including undead and vampires (???). Needless to say the Players blew up the mic with what they should do with this information. Should they continue with their original goal? Adjust the goal? Or scrap the whole thing?

I got a drink.

One of the more interesting things I heard them discuss was if the situation at Turos Quell and the Scaled King was even their problem. "Maybe we just leave it alone and let other Patrons or NPCs handle it. Go find a random lair to loot." Things like that.

I don't entirely disagree. As I've written before I don't think the PCs are really the rivals of Evil Patrons. The Good Patrons are rivals of Evil Patrons. And their clash to titans warfare and schemes play out in the background of PC session actions. With that said, of course, the PCs are the sorts of dudes all Patrons may look to hire on for extra help with schemes Patrons deem them suitable for.

So the PCs left Turos Luin with the plan to go to Siadanos to end the session so they'd be in position to think about in what way they may want to help with the Scaled King threat, if at all. 

During the first day out from Turos Luin en route to Siadanos, they were attacked by a 12 headed hydra. Oh no they're doomed, right?!

No.

The randomly rolled encounter distance put the creature like 300 yards away from the PCs. Meaning the angry hydra was angry enough to charge at the group to attack but it would be about 5 combat rounds before he got close enough to strike. The PCs came up with a pretty good plan where Marn (PC Mage Level 3) cast Wall of Smoke so BriarWhisper (PC Elven Ranger level 4) and many other bowmen could get attacks safely off from behind the smoke (allowing some to get Sniping damage due to being hidden). Additionally, many of the other PCs picked up their rarely used bows and let loose.

The hydra was dead before it could cross the field and get into melee with PCs. [EDIT: Players have corrected me to point at that Timur (PC Barbarian Level 2) made a successful melee killing blow on the hydra. EDIT 2: Gaius says it was actually Gaius who killed the thing. Which would be a challenge since he wasn't in the session.) One player said that the battle was like Pickett's Charge but the good guys won.

Because my players are #Elite they immediately wanted to know if there were a Lair nearby. In Adventurer Conqueror King System, and most TSR era versions and retroclones of D&D, Lairs are where the big treasure is kept. 

My system for determining an answer to this question (because it always comes up) is to roll another Lair percentage check if the adventuring group can successfully Track. If this hits then the distance to the Lair is around 1 hex (6 mile hexes are used) per 1,000 GP of average treasure on the creature's treasure chart. ACKS gives an average number for each treasure category. Lastly, I require PCs needing to make another successful Track check each day of following the tracks or they lose the tracks or maybe they then realize there actually isn't a Lair for this monster and he was truly wandering.

Laru (PC Thief level 4) killed a water hydra for Legate Drakon a couple months back during downtime and he was telling the other adventurers all about the piles of treasure that are to be found in such a creature's lair. They were hyped to find it so off into the Lusaun Forest they went, following its tracks.

Unfortunately on day 2 of tracking to the Hydra's Lair they failed to make a successful check, meaning they lost the tracks. The decided to cut their losses and head through the forest northwest towards Siadanos and wrap for the night. But at the start of day 3 in the forest they realized they were lost. And they lost a day trying to get found again. Eventually they were well on their way to exiting the Lusaun Forest and getting to Siadanos to call it a night and end the session. But the dreaded manbearpigs attacked them during the last night of camping in the forest!

I think BriarWhisper and his elf crew were on watch, if I remember correctly, and were able to get some shots off on the bugbears before they converged on the party. Some were downs. Once the bugbears got into melee with the party they killed a handful of light cavalrymen and were threatening to put some PCs down. No PCs or henchmen fell, however, since the bugbears' morale broke and they decided to do a fighting retreat. The sub-chief leading them didn't want to retreat but he backed away with his crew. 

it was a super serious fight

But little did the sub-chief realize that Laru and 5X (hench to Laru, Thief Level 1) used the confusion of the battle and the shadowy wood to get into a Backstab position. The subchief was shook after the two thieves let loose on him, but survived. BriarWhisper shot an arrow into the fray with Precise Shot and put him down. 

At this point the bugbears went on full retreat. Players decided they wanted to run every one of them down. But killing the bugbears was a slow process and it was getting very late. I asked the Caller if he'd simply send the remaining Light Cavalarymen to ride them down and let me make a single d20 roll to see if the cavalry destroyed them. This is a mass combat rule from ACKS Domains at War. 

Success. The Cavalry ran down all the manbearpigs and killed them all. Daria (PC BladeDancer Level 5) was discussing whether the party should then try to Track back to the bugbears Lair but I reminded them that beastmen lairs are villages with many warbands. There's likely be this many bugbears there or even 5 or 8 times more. Players decided against it.

They eventually gathered up all the little treasure the bugbears had and exited the Lusaun Forest and made their way to Siadanos for the first time in months, staying there to end the session.

Afterword

Much of my session report above is really about Patron actions. The Patrons have been BUSY. Their actions and the consequences are very important to the campaign state and the sorts of things the PCs want to do session to session.

But I'd like to explore the PCs thoughts in this afterword. 

One player pointed out that since Session 35: Elves in Vegas, the party has been very good about "minimizing our losses and maximizing our collective gains". To me this is the sort of thing PC play is really about in TSR era D&D, and certainly #brosr D&D. But it often takes time for a group of players to be able to see where the worthy risks and winnable rewards are hidden. I will agree that this group has gained a certain wisdom about this and the rewards have been steady for a while.

Another player mentioned that the hydra and bugbear fights were mirrors of eachother. "Both were near hits in opposite directions [...] in the first we totally trounced the hydra without loss [but] failed to find its lair after multiple, multiple attempts. In the second we were totally trounced by the bugbears and all could have easily died. But a lucky morale roll went our way instead and we survived." 

That is honestly how this sort of gaming goes. The most important rolls were not the attacks on the monsters but the handful of d20 rolls that were used to track to the hydra's lair. Losing that meant losing he possibility of thousands of gold (and thus XP). Similarly the morale check(s) for the bugbears was more important than any single spell cast or attack made during the battle. 

Surviving PCs Present 

BriarWhisper: (5% bonus): Elven Ranger Level 4. XP gained 368. Total: 14,340 
Daria (Lawful) (0% XP bonus): BladeDancer Level 5. XP gained 350. Total: 17,689
Laru (5% bonus): Thief Level 4. XP gained 368. Total: 7,752
Marn (Neutral) (10% XP bonus): Mage Level 3. XP gained 385. Total: 8,651
Timur (Neutral) (10% xp bonus): Barbarian Level 2. XP gained 385. Total: 4,053

Surviving Hench Present

Surefoot (hench horse to BriarWhisper), ShadowFeather (hench Owl to BriarWhisper)

MistWeaver (hench to Briarwhisper, Spellsword Level 1)

Raven (hench to BriarWhisper, Elven Ranger leveled up to 2 during this session)

Jane (hench to Daria, Cleric level 3)

5x (hench to Laru, Thief level 1)

Maro (hench to Laru, Mage level 1)

Zaidu (hench to Laru, Bard level 1)

Deceased

Dama (L1 Venturer) played by RR.  Current total xp: 75. DECEASED. Poison gas in Session 3.

Darius LeVay (L1 Assassin) played by JB. Current Total XP:451. DECEASED. Poison gas in Session 3.

Donald the Guardsman (L1 Fighter) played by MP. Current Total XP:570. DECEASED. Intra-party justice in Session 3.

Felix (L1 Thief) played by Nicholas. Current Total XP:431. DECEASED. Poison gas in Session 3.

Hektor (L1 Paladin) played by Moai. DECEASED. Cause of Death: goblin warg rider throat removal surgery in Session 2

Leonidas the Inquisitor (L1 Cleric) played by RR.Current Total XP:498  DECEASED. Frozen undead blistering cold aura left his skin frostbitten and broken in Session 6. Body not recovered.

Mard the Mage (L1 Mage) played by Nicholas. DECEASED. Frozen undead blistering cold aura left his skin frostbitten and broken in Session 6. Body not recovered.

Yolo Baggins "My friends call me Swaggins" (L1 Gnomish Trickster) played by J. DECEASED. Paralyzed and eaten by ghouls in Session 12. Body not recovered.

Jack Filcher (L1 Thief) played by C. DECEASED. Shot full of arrows by Inthorn's brigands in Session 12. Body not recovered.

Swoleous Maximus (L1 Paladin). DECEASED. Captured then drawn and quartered by Inthorn the Brigand warlord in Session 12. Posthumously named "Petty Hero of Turos Tem" by Legate Valerian. Ashes offered a place of pride in the Hospital.

Damianus (L1 Cleric). DECEASED. Captured and beheaded by Inthorn the Brigand warlord in Session 12. Posthumously named "Petty Hero of Turos Tem" by Legate Valerian. Ashes offered a place of pride in the Hospital.

Bucky (L1 Barbarian). DECEASED. Became a illegal pit fighter during his downtime. Had two bouts to the death, winning the first and losing the second. Was killed by Young Jack Sparrow who sashayed into the ring, drank rum, and mogged on Bucky before putting a dagger into his ribs, killing him. This happened during downtime between Session 17 and 18.

Broll Wolf-Eater (L1 Barbarian). Current total XP: 1079. DECEASED. Carried off by harpies after falling for their enchanting song in Session 19.

Brother Franklin (L1 Cleric). DECEASED. Decapitated by a mad cultist of a Lovecraftian slime thing in Session 19.

Felix the Elder (L1 Bard). Total XP 825. DECEASED. Captured by mad cultists and fed to a Lovecraftian slime monster in Session 19.

Templar Flavius Africanus (L1 Cleric). Total XP 7. Killed by the claws and beak of mad harpies in Session 19.

Xendi (L1 Explorer). Total XP 6. DECEASED. Carried off by harpies after falling for their enchanting song in Session 19.

Yllmeeton (L3 Shaman). Total XP 4,563. Bludgeoned by the corpse of a bowmen by Rosie Odonnel hag in Session 21.

Longinus (L2 Assassin). Total XP 2,036. Had his face ripped off by Rosie Odonnel hag in Session 21.

Mandonio (L3 Fighter). Total XP 4,779. Charred to a leprous crisp by diseased Dragon breath in Session 22.

Corydon (L1 Joker). Total XP: 0. Burnt to a crisp by chimera breath so thoroughly his corpse wasn't even fit for the crows. Died with a smile on his face and a song in his heart. that's life and as funny as it seems... some people get their kicks, stomping on a dream... In Session 25.

Donny Keebler (L1 Elven Spellsword). Total XP 2,238. Had his legs burned completely off by chimera fire breath in Session 25.

Marina (L2 Fighter). Total XP: 2,204. Burnt into ash by a chimera fire breath in Session 25.

Gundro (L2 Gnomish Trickster). Total XP: 2,575. Had his mouth and tongue bitten off by a lizardman ambusher in the dank sewers below Cyfaraun in Session 26.

Polydoros (L1 Fighter). Total XP: 0. Had his legs ripped off and eaten by Akira monsters in the dark canopy of the Viaspen Forest in Session 28.

Odrum (L1 Explorer). Total XP: 287. Javelin to the heart from the hands of weird vine goblins hidden in the walls of Ferigno's lair in Session 30.

Garvin the Nutless Wonder (L1 Mage). Total XP: 0. Fell off the side of Ferigno's lair 20 feet to his death in Session 30.

Blackmoon (L1 Assassin). Total XP: 768. Choked to death by BOB from Twin Peaks while stealing treasure from Ferigno's dragon horde in Session 30.

Xanthus (L2 Cleric). Total XP: 2,364. Choked to death by BOB from Twin Peaks while hanging out on the roof of Ferigno's lair in Session 30.

Lord Zyklon (L1 Elven Spellsword). Total XP: 0. LORD ZYKLON DISEMBOWLED LORD ZYKLON upon finding himself on the losing side of the Desolation of Turos Tem.

Turin (L1 Cleric). Total XP: 0. Eaten by Wargs in Session 32.

Rat Face (L2 Thief) Total XP: 1,577. Seemingly grabbed in the dark by a Xenomorph in Session 36. In a sinkhole your party can hear you scream! 

Smarticus (L1 Mage) Total XP: 0. Captured by a Xenomorph in Session 36 for all the party to witness. Taken deep into a sinkhole.

Hearticus (L1 Cleric) Total XP: 0. Gored to death by giant horned beetles in Session 39 after projectile vomiting all over himself from the stink of sewer sludge.

Mickey Mouser (L1 Thief) Total XP: 0. Gored to death by giant horned beetles in Session 39 in the happiest place on earth: the Cyfaraun sewer!

Aenes (Level 1 Paladin) Total XP: 62. Swarmed by giant flies in the sewer beneath Cyfaraun in Session 40.

Alexa this is so sad play anything by old Hank

ACKS Session 40: Hideout Heist [How to Restock Dungeons on the Fly]

Players adventured for 3 days. With one day of rest, as per ACKS rules, they can take downtime actions and play in Sessions on and after 12/24/21.

Foreword

Forty Sessions! I'm very thankful to all my Players and Patrons for helping me achieve this amazing milestone. It's not easy being the longest running and best documented #brosr campaign running with Jeffrogaxian Time and Patrons but I will soldier on, keep running sessions, keep posting session reports, and keep adding to the dead pool.

Thank you for reading.

Session Report

To celebrate our 40th session the players went back to the sewer. 

the pcs, basically

They were openly discussing their goal on the mics and what I remember is they wanted to clear out the rooms they found in the sewer which were away from the stanky sewer sludge. Maybe they wanted to make a hideout there? I didn't quite gather that part. It was clear also, however, that they were still hoping to bring their maps of the sewer to the Patron Player Rene (also known as MapGuy) who was offering them cash for good maps of the sewers.

The PCs entered the dungeon from their recently claimed cantina which they had named "Beetle Juice". Laru (PC Thief Level 4) was building the old cantina back up and planned to live and work at the Beetle Juice. Laru was already in talks with Vince McMaximus (Patron Gladiator School Owner and Possible Mafia Don Level ???) to use the cantina as a front for thieves guild stuff for Vince's syndicate. Or something. I'm not really sure. Players don't even tell me about these deals with Patrons it just happens and I'm told about it later.

The PCs explored the sewer rooms beneath the Beetle Juice towards the east first. The party had 2 thieves, Laru and Nubbs (PC Thief Level 1) and the Caller was making good use of them by having them check separate rooms for traps and treasure just away from the main adventuring party to save time. Rapunzel (PC Priestess Level 2) was helping by holding a light source for one thief or the other as needed. 

They explored about 5 sewer rooms, finding nothing of particular interest. Delving deeper I rolled a random encounter with 5 Giant Flies. Rapunzel was unable to use her Magic Music ability on these since, unlike last time, I had properly researched that Vermin are not able to be targeted with said music. So the fight was on!

Most of the flies attacked the party's front ranks and easily killed the level zero henchmen MadEye (PC Venturer Level 1) had brought along. Sad!

For dumb creatures like flies I randomly determine the targets they attack. For small flying creatures that can fly past the PC's front ranks I weight the chances they attack the closest enemy as follows:

Roll 1d3: 1-2= attack first rank. 3=roll 1d3 again
Roll 1d3 again: 1-2 = attack 2nd rank. 3 = Roll 1d3 again etc

This creates a situation where certain enemies in the dungeon can't be completely held off from attacking the mages and thieves with a stout front line, though it's still weighted to not be super likely that these sorts of creatures (stirges, bats, flies etc) always get into the middle and back ranks.

best actor

It was actually the attacks on the front ranks that were the biggest threat, however. After getting through MadEye's mercenaries the flies were swarming Aeneas (PC Paladin level 1) and were able to find a weak spot in his plate armor. Unfortunately the paladin only has 1 (one) hit point and one fly bite was enough to knock him down. He went down screaming from a tear in his abdomen. Nuria (henchwoman Fighter Level 1 for Rapunzel) was also swarmed and killed by the giant flies.

Nubbs stepped up to try and fill in the front line and he too was knocked down by the flies and apparently dead. After the PCs eventually turned the battle in their favor and won the new paladin which joined the party this session, Olivier (PC Paladin Level 1) used lay on hands to help Nubbs back to his feet.

The party left the dungeon so Nubbs could rest for the 1 day necessary to get back on his feet and join a second delve. Oliver's player had some irl concerns so he and his PC retired for the night before we began delve 2. It's a shame for him because Delve 2 went much (MUCH) better.

For delve 2 the party went back the direction towards the flies and beyond the location of that battle. Nubbs noticed a t-intersection which looked to have wet concrete on one wall. The players correctly deduced this to be a gray ooze so they easily killed it with missile weapons before it could slime its way into melee with them. From this t-intersection there were two seemingly empty rooms and that direction of the dungeon was dead-ended.

Backtracking towards the sewer sludge portion of the dungeon the party came to a locked door. Nubbs picked this with a natural 20! 

So I promised to tell you how to re-stock a dungeon on the fly. I was forced to do that with this section of the sewer because it was actually the hideout for Liber Faunus (Deceased Patron Syndicate mafia boss Level ???). It became clear to the players recently (or some of them) that Liber was assassinated and much of his syndicate resources (men, turf, illegal fronts etc) were claimed by some other mafioso sort of dude. I had to assume that much of Liber's hideout (this dungeon) were looted and the now empty rooms were left for dungeon monsters to possibly take up residence. 

But I had no way of knowing when or if the PCs would ever come to this place so I wasn't going to pre-roll the dungeon restocking. I make it my business to not do prep I won't use. 

So I used this Re-Stocking System as players came across new rooms:

Empty Room: roll 1d6 with 6 = random monster. Check Lair chance to see if the random monster claimed that room (and possibly that section of rooms if necessary for space) for a Lair with appropriate lair treasure.

Rooms with Treasure: Roll 1d6. 2+ = someone already took all the treasure. Unless that room was locked then see the next entry:

Locked Rooms/Sections: roll 1d6. 5+ = someone already got through and claimed the treasure etc in that part of the dungeon. That makes this room/section into an Empty Room and should be rolled on restocking as above. 

That's it. It's that easy. Most re-stocking advice tells you to roll once per week but, thanks to Jeffrogaxian Timekeeping, my players can only delve once a week anyway. So I'm free to just check at the time they go to that room during the course of delving. 

What this essentially did for Session 39 and Session 40 was add a few extra random encounter rolls to this section of dungeon. But it also meant that whoever offed Liber Faunus and looted his hideout may have been unable to loot every thing there, leaving some of this ill gotten treasures for PCs to claim during delving.

That's just what happened this session!

I checked to see if the section beyond the locked door Nubbs opened with a Natural 20 had been looted. "No". Ok then. The PCs traveled through this section mapping along and eventually came to a door with a very nice lock indeed. I rolled to see if its contents had been previously found. "No". Ok then. So the previous items etc in that room are still there, no restocking.

Nubbs was unable to pick this lock so MadEye stepped up with a crowbar and was beating down the door, ripping the wood from the frame. This took him about 20 minutes so I rolled a random monster encounter. "No". I think at this point the party was waiting for the other shoe to drop on random encounters since they hadn't seen one since the gray ooze. There was alot of comments about "we're watching our back ranks as we go"... But nothing came.

Beyond the door was what looked like Liber Faunus's office. Jackpot!

Laru started going through Faunus's desk and paperwork and realized there were thousands of gold worth of blackmail material written down for all manner of folk in the city of Cyfaraun. 

Nubbs was checking out a chest and Rapunzel cast a spell to check and see if it was dangerous or something? The answer was "yes". The PCs have seen some serious traps in my campaign so they cleared the room of everyone except Laru (iirc) who tried to remove the trap and open the chest. Poison gas filled the room!

Laru got out of the room safely but then something crazy happened. Nubbs covered his face with a handkerchief and ran into the poison smoke filled room! The party was aghast but Nubbs made his Save Vs Poison and looted two star sapphires from the chest worth 750 gp each. Nubbs thus assured he'd gain level 2 simply from doing what thieves do: ripping people off (bravely... stupidly?). The Party was none the wiser although the other players were aware of what Nubbs did and cheered on his dedication to roleplaying a grasping, conniving thief.

I made a random encounter check to see if anything appeared during the 20 minutes the party waited for the poison gas to disperse. Nothing (damnit). The party then looted the room of about 18,000 GP worth of books, gems, and blackmail material, and left the dungeon. It was a MAJOR score and some players noted this was our session before Christmas and thus was a Christmas present to their PCs! Every single PC and Henchman who was part of Delve 2 leveled up.

Afterword

It occurs to me that I might be giving away a bit too much to my players about my methods of restocking above. But I've had a few friends ask me how I restock dungeons and I figured this information could be helpful to the brosr blogosphere. 

Additionally I have the best players, just tops. I couldn't have gotten to 40 sessions without them and I won't be able to get to 50 or beyond without them either. 

Surviving PCs Present

Hardar (10% xp bonus) Level 1 Mage. 2,767 XP gained. Total: 2,832 [LEVEL UP TO 2!]

Laru (5% XP bonus) Level 3 Thief. 2,641 XP gained. Total: 7,367 [LEVEL UP TO 4!]

Nubbs (5% XP bonus) Level 1 Thief. 2,641+1,500 xp gained. Total: 4,203 which caps at 2,499 total because PCs can't level more than once in a session. [LEVEL UP TO 2!]

MadEye (5% XP bonus) Level 1 Venturer. 2,641 XP Gained. Total: 2,977 which caps at 2,499 total because PCs can't level more than once in a session. [LEVEL UP TO 2!]

Olivier (5% XP bonus) Level 1 Paladin. 17 XP gained. Total: 17

Proteus (5% XP bonus) Level 2 Mage. 2,624 XP gained. Total: 5,405 [LEVEL UP TO 3!]

Rapunzel (10% XP bonus) Level 2 Priestess. 2,767 XP gained. Total: 6,201 [LEVEL UP TO 3!]

Henchmen

Marcia (MadEye) levels into a Level 1 Fighter and stays on to work for MadEye

Ophilia (MadEye) Levels into a level 1 Fighter and stays on to work for MadEye

Yuno (Proteus) levels into a Level 1 Fighter and stays on to work for Proteus

Deceased:

Dama (L1 Venturer) played by RR.  Current total xp: 75. DECEASED. Poison gas in Session 3.

Darius LeVay (L1 Assassin) played by JB. Current Total XP:451. DECEASED. Poison gas in Session 3.

Donald the Guardsman (L1 Fighter) played by MP. Current Total XP:570. DECEASED. Intra-party justice in Session 3.

Felix (L1 Thief) played by Nicholas. Current Total XP:431. DECEASED. Poison gas in Session 3.

Hektor (L1 Paladin) played by Moai. DECEASED. Cause of Death: goblin warg rider throat removal surgery in Session 2

Leonidas the Inquisitor (L1 Cleric) played by RR.Current Total XP:498  DECEASED. Frozen undead blistering cold aura left his skin frostbitten and broken in Session 6. Body not recovered.

Mard the Mage (L1 Mage) played by Nicholas. DECEASED. Frozen undead blistering cold aura left his skin frostbitten and broken in Session 6. Body not recovered.

Yolo Baggins "My friends call me Swaggins" (L1 Gnomish Trickster) played by J. DECEASED. Paralyzed and eaten by ghouls in Session 12. Body not recovered.

Jack Filcher (L1 Thief) played by C. DECEASED. Shot full of arrows by Inthorn's brigands in Session 12. Body not recovered.

Swoleous Maximus (L1 Paladin). DECEASED. Captured then drawn and quartered by Inthorn the Brigand warlord in Session 12. Posthumously named "Petty Hero of Turos Tem" by Legate Valerian. Ashes offered a place of pride in the Hospital.

Damianus (L1 Cleric). DECEASED. Captured and beheaded by Inthorn the Brigand warlord in Session 12. Posthumously named "Petty Hero of Turos Tem" by Legate Valerian. Ashes offered a place of pride in the Hospital.

Bucky (L1 Barbarian). DECEASED. Became a illegal pit fighter during his downtime. Had two bouts to the death, winning the first and losing the second. Was killed by Young Jack Sparrow who sashayed into the ring, drank rum, and mogged on Bucky before putting a dagger into his ribs, killing him. This happened during downtime between Session 17 and 18.

Broll Wolf-Eater (L1 Barbarian). Current total XP: 1079. DECEASED. Carried off by harpies after falling for their enchanting song in Session 19.

Brother Franklin (L1 Cleric). DECEASED. Decapitated by a mad cultist of a Lovecraftian slime thing in Session 19.

Felix the Elder (L1 Bard). Total XP 825. DECEASED. Captured by mad cultists and fed to a Lovecraftian slime monster in Session 19.

Templar Flavius Africanus (L1 Cleric). Total XP 7. Killed by the claws and beak of mad harpies in Session 19.

Xendi (L1 Explorer). Total XP 6. DECEASED. Carried off by harpies after falling for their enchanting song in Session 19.

Yllmeeton (L3 Shaman). Total XP 4,563. Bludgeoned by the corpse of a bowmen by Rosie Odonnel hag in Session 21.

Longinus (L2 Assassin). Total XP 2,036. Had his face ripped off by Rosie Odonnel hag in Session 21.

Mandonio (L3 Fighter). Total XP 4,779. Charred to a leprous crisp by diseased Dragon breath in Session 22.

Corydon (L1 Joker). Total XP: 0. Burnt to a crisp by chimera breath so thoroughly his corpse wasn't even fit for the crows. Died with a smile on his face and a song in his heart. that's life and as funny as it seems... some people get their kicks, stomping on a dream... In Session 25.

Donny Keebler (L1 Elven Spellsword). Total XP 2,238. Had his legs burned completely off by chimera fire breath in Session 25.

Marina (L2 Fighter). Total XP: 2,204. Burnt into ash by a chimera fire breath in Session 25.

Gundro (L2 Gnomish Trickster). Total XP: 2,575. Had his mouth and tongue bitten off by a lizardman ambusher in the dank sewers below Cyfaraun in Session 26.

Polydoros (L1 Fighter). Total XP: 0. Had his legs ripped off and eaten by Akira monsters in the dark canopy of the Viaspen Forest in Session 28.

Odrum (L1 Explorer). Total XP: 287. Javelin to the heart from the hands of weird vine goblins hidden in the walls of Ferigno's lair in Session 30.

Garvin the Nutless Wonder (L1 Mage). Total XP: 0. Fell off the side of Ferigno's lair 20 feet to his death in Session 30.

Blackmoon (L1 Assassin). Total XP: 768. Choked to death by BOB from Twin Peaks while stealing treasure from Ferigno's dragon horde in Session 30.

Xanthus (L2 Cleric). Total XP: 2,364. Choked to death by BOB from Twin Peaks while hanging out on the roof of Ferigno's lair in Session 30.

Lord Zyklon (L1 Elven Spellsword). Total XP: 0. LORD ZYKLON DISEMBOWLED LORD ZYKLON upon finding himself on the losing side of the Desolation of Turos Tem.

Turin (L1 Cleric). Total XP: 0. Eaten by Wargs in Session 32.

Rat Face (L2 Thief) Total XP: 1,577. Seemingly grabbed in the dark by a Xenomorph in Session 36. In a sinkhole your party can hear you scream! 

Smarticus (L1 Mage) Total XP: 0. Captured by a Xenomorph in Session 36 for all the party to witness. Taken deep into a sinkhole.

Hearticus (L1 Cleric) Total XP: 0. Gored to death by giant horned beetles in Session 39 after projectile vomiting all over himself from the stink of sewer sludge.

Mickey Mouser (L1 Thief) Total XP: 0. Gored to death by giant horned beetles in Session 39 in the happiest place on earth: the Cyfaraun sewer!

Aenes (Level 1 Paladin) Total XP: 62. Swarmed by giant flies in the sewer beneath Cyfaraun in Session 40.

Alexa this is so sad play "Money" by Pink Floyd

ACKS Session 39: Meet the Beetles!

The PCs adventured in two delves taking two days starting on 12/15/21. After one day of rest as per ACKS rules the PCs can take actions on and after 12/18/21.

Foreword

I was just talking with a friend the other day about how it doesn't seem mine players will be taking the PCs back into any dungeons any time soon. "They don't seem to be interested in delving anymore," I lamented. So of course like a day later at the start of Session 39, this session, they inform me they will be delving the sewers beneath the city. 

Real D&D is so weird. When you give your players full REAL agency you will be constantly surprised by the choices they make and the goals they set FOR THEMSELVES.

Session Report

The party gathered up and set off for a manhole cover in the Old District of Cyfaraun. I was scrambling to find my adventure book for this delve and had to research again how the rules worked with regards to the sewer sludge (the stank) which instigates the PCs to make a Save Vs Poison or feel sick and act with -1 on most checks while in the sewer. We ran around the table and about half the PCs saved. I used the honor system of PCs tracking this minor debuff for themselves since I couldn't be bothered.

The mission they gave themselves tonight was to do some mapping of the dungeon for a new Patron they are calling MapGuy, but who is actually named Rene (with a frenchy last name I can't recall). 

When this player submitted his Patron idea of being the Map Guy in Cyfaraun I was skeptical it would be any fun. But my decision regarding new Patrons coming into the game since November 2021 was to let them bring something they were passionate about. Some perspective Patron Players have asked me if I "needed" something in particular in the campaign world. Not really. My theory is the passion the Patron brings because it's HIS idea will make for a better campaign world. Whether he's helpful to the PCs or antagonistic is neither here nor there, for me. The Passion and the concept is the thing. MapGuy appears to be having fun so far.

So anyway the PCs were trekking down the sewer platform next to the nasty sludge and taking note of each room and the size of hallways and such. MapGuy was going to give them some gold pieces for each room or something like that. I don't know the details because I don't need to. 

Hearticus (PC Cleric Level 1) was in the front line with Aeneas (PC Paladin Level 1) so this was a holy rolling group indeed! Unfortunately I rolled up a random giant beetle encounter and rolled up they were Hostile. The beetles ALSO got surprise on the entire party AND were within charging distance with their horned head attack. So the beetles charged down the sewer platform and gored Hearticus unto death. His player was laughing hysterically at how ridiculous the PCs story had been. Hearticus only made 1 (one) roll in his entire PC career and it was a natural 1 on a d20 on his Save VS Poison. So Hearticus's only scenes in this campaign were him climbing down into the sewer, projectile vomitting from nausea from the sewer sickness, and then getting gored to death by beetles. Hearticus was the cousin of Smarticus (DECEASED PC Mage Level 1) who had a similarly bad single session existence. It seems that PC naming convention isn't very lucky!

Aeneas for his part held the front line very well. Despite having only 1 (one) hit point he simply never got hit. This was helped along by Rapunzel (PC Priestess Level 2) who cast the spell Sanctuary on him. I botched my reading of this spell and we were letting Aeneas attack from the Sanctuary when it's supposed to keep him from being attacked but make him unable to return attack. Live and learn!

The battle was against like 3 beetles and neither side was having much luck landing attacks after the first round. Mickey Mouser (PC Thief Level 1) waded into melee when the front line fell but then had his own face ripped off. The player began rolling up a replacement thief. Dolores (Level 1 Fighter henchman to Laru), the hero who killed BOB in Las Vegas, got hit in the Achilles heel by a beetles horns and she went down with a serious mortal wound. She'd be out of action for a week. And unable to walk since her other leg had the same Mortal Wound from some past session. Dolores has been through alot!

Eventually the PCs killed a beetle and the rest failed their morale check and fled the battle. The PCs decided not to pursue since they were pretty beat up.

The party fled back to the surface streets having only been in the dungeon about an hour of in world time and 2 hours of game time. Our sessions normally go 4 hours or so and the PCs geared up for a second delve and attempt at their sewer mapping mission.

Nubbs (PC Thief Level 1) replaced the dead Mickey Mouser and Harder (PC Mage Level 1) replaced the dead Hearticus. So both players were able to keep on playing. It was easy to explain how they joined the party since the survivors of the first delve just went back to the inn to rest. They "picked up some green horns" for delve 2.

The next day the party went back into the sewers the same direction and passed the abbatoir of the beetle battle. Beyond that was an iron door/gate thing which the party broke down by rigging up and pulling a grappling hook... or something idk. Moving north they came to a section of the dungeon which was away from the nasty sewer sludge and they all started feeling better. The player of Hardar was making jokes about how his openly chaotic (evil) mage was creeping on Rapunzel and celebrating the death and evil he saw around the dungeon. By losing Hearticus the player stumbled upon a PC he seemed to be having more fun with; an unrepentantly evil mage where the player could "embrace his id" and just make bad (good) jokes about being a PITA.

During the course of the dungeon exploration the PCs mapped out a pretty nice section of rooms and halls. During this time a swarm of creeping crawling bugs came upon the party and Rapunzel used Magical Music to put them to sleep. On review of this ACKS Proficiency it seems this does NOT effect Vermin so I was 0 for 2 on my interpretations and understanding of the Priestess's abilities this session. Live and learn!... again!

Some giant flies were randomly encountered as well but their reaction to the party was Disinterested so I ruled they bypassed the party and went to eat the swarm of sleeping bugs the Priestess knocked out. Eventually the party found a wooden ladder and trapdoor exiting out into a Small Cantina in the Old District of Cyfaraun. Laru (PC Thief Level 3) is pretty deep into the underworld of Cyfaraun so I ruled he was aware this Cantina used to be used as a legit front of Liber Faunus's (DECEASED Patron crime syndicate boss Level ???) kaput Argollean Family syndicate. 

We wrapped there.

Afterword

So you'd think the Party would be pretty unhappy about this session right? Very little treasure (they found a crate of wine worth like 200 gp and that's it) and multiple dead PCs and injured Henchman. But thanks to this end of session discovery the PCs were pretty pumped, especially Laru. 

A few of the Players began scheming how they were going to take over the Small Cantina (which they named Beetle Juice) and start running their own crime hijinks out of there. And it could be a safe entrance to do further delves into the sewer from a more private and safer entrance. Next session report you'll see how they doubled down on this plan and made a very serious score indeed!

I didn't plan any of this and the PCs certainly didn't play having a juice bar under their control at the end of the session, but that's how real emergent storytelling works in real D&D. Keep reading this blog and follow the #brosr on Tw1tterz and you can learn how to have a Real D&D campaign of your own!

Surviving PCs Present

Aeneas (5% XP Bonus): Level 1 Paladin. 62 XP gained. Total: 62

Hardar (10% XP bonus): Level 1 Mage. 65 XP gained. Total: 65

Laru (5% XP bonus): Level 3 Thief. 62 XP gained. Total: 4,726

Nubbs (5% XP bonus): Level 1 Thief. 62 XP gained. Total: 62

Rapunzel (10% XP bonus): Level 2 Priestess. 65 XP gained. Total: 3,434

Surviving Henchmen Present

Nuria (Rapunzel): Level 1 Cleric

Dorlores (Laru): Level 1 Fighter

Deceased:

Dama (L1 Venturer) played by RR.  Current total xp: 75. DECEASED. Poison gas in Session 3.

Darius LeVay (L1 Assassin) played by JB. Current Total XP:451. DECEASED. Poison gas in Session 3.

Donald the Guardsman (L1 Fighter) played by MP. Current Total XP:570. DECEASED. Intra-party justice in Session 3.

Felix (L1 Thief) played by Nicholas. Current Total XP:431. DECEASED. Poison gas in Session 3.

Hektor (L1 Paladin) played by Moai. DECEASED. Cause of Death: goblin warg rider throat removal surgery in Session 2

Leonidas the Inquisitor (L1 Cleric) played by RR.Current Total XP:498  DECEASED. Frozen undead blistering cold aura left his skin frostbitten and broken in Session 6. Body not recovered.

Mard the Mage (L1 Mage) played by Nicholas. DECEASED. Frozen undead blistering cold aura left his skin frostbitten and broken in Session 6. Body not recovered.

Yolo Baggins "My friends call me Swaggins" (L1 Gnomish Trickster) played by J. DECEASED. Paralyzed and eaten by ghouls in Session 12. Body not recovered.

Jack Filcher (L1 Thief) played by C. DECEASED. Shot full of arrows by Inthorn's brigands in Session 12. Body not recovered.

Swoleous Maximus (L1 Paladin). DECEASED. Captured then drawn and quartered by Inthorn the Brigand warlord in Session 12. Posthumously named "Petty Hero of Turos Tem" by Legate Valerian. Ashes offered a place of pride in the Hospital.

Damianus (L1 Cleric). DECEASED. Captured and beheaded by Inthorn the Brigand warlord in Session 12. Posthumously named "Petty Hero of Turos Tem" by Legate Valerian. Ashes offered a place of pride in the Hospital.

Bucky (L1 Barbarian). DECEASED. Became a illegal pit fighter during his downtime. Had two bouts to the death, winning the first and losing the second. Was killed by Young Jack Sparrow who sashayed into the ring, drank rum, and mogged on Bucky before putting a dagger into his ribs, killing him. This happened during downtime between Session 17 and 18.

Broll Wolf-Eater (L1 Barbarian). Current total XP: 1079. DECEASED. Carried off by harpies after falling for their enchanting song in Session 19.

Brother Franklin (L1 Cleric). DECEASED. Decapitated by a mad cultist of a Lovecraftian slime thing in Session 19.

Felix the Elder (L1 Bard). Total XP 825. DECEASED. Captured by mad cultists and fed to a Lovecraftian slime monster in Session 19.

Templar Flavius Africanus (L1 Cleric). Total XP 7. Killed by the claws and beak of mad harpies in Session 19.

Xendi (L1 Explorer). Total XP 6. DECEASED. Carried off by harpies after falling for their enchanting song in Session 19.

Yllmeeton (L3 Shaman). Total XP 4,563. Bludgeoned by the corpse of a bowmen by Rosie Odonnel hag in Session 21.

Longinus (L2 Assassin). Total XP 2,036. Had his face ripped off by Rosie Odonnel hag in Session 21.

Mandonio (L3 Fighter). Total XP 4,779. Charred to a leprous crisp by diseased Dragon breath in Session 22.

Corydon (L1 Joker). Total XP: 0. Burnt to a crisp by chimera breath so thoroughly his corpse wasn't even fit for the crows. Died with a smile on his face and a song in his heart. that's life and as funny as it seems... some people get their kicks, stomping on a dream... In Session 25.

Donny Keebler (L1 Elven Spellsword). Total XP 2,238. Had his legs burned completely off by chimera fire breath in Session 25.

Marina (L2 Fighter). Total XP: 2,204. Burnt into ash by a chimera fire breath in Session 25.

Gundro (L2 Gnomish Trickster). Total XP: 2,575. Had his mouth and tongue bitten off by a lizardman ambusher in the dank sewers below Cyfaraun in Session 26.

Polydoros (L1 Fighter). Total XP: 0. Had his legs ripped off and eaten by Akira monsters in the dark canopy of the Viaspen Forest in Session 28.

Odrum (L1 Explorer). Total XP: 287. Javelin to the heart from the hands of weird vine goblins hidden in the walls of Ferigno's lair in Session 30.

Garvin the Nutless Wonder (L1 Mage). Total XP: 0. Fell off the side of Ferigno's lair 20 feet to his death in Session 30.

Blackmoon (L1 Assassin). Total XP: 768. Choked to death by BOB from Twin Peaks while stealing treasure from Ferigno's dragon horde in Session 30.

Xanthus (L2 Cleric). Total XP: 2,364. Choked to death by BOB from Twin Peaks while hanging out on the roof of Ferigno's lair in Session 30.

Lord Zyklon (L1 Elven Spellsword). Total XP: 0. LORD ZYKLON DISEMBOWLED LORD ZYKLON upon finding himself on the losing side of the Desolation of Turos Tem.

Turin (L1 Cleric). Total XP: 0. Eaten by Wargs in Session 32.

Rat Face (L2 Thief) Total XP: 1,577. Seemingly grabbed in the dark by a Xenomorph in Session 36. In a sinkhole your party can hear you scream! 

Smarticus (L1 Mage) Total XP: 0. Captured by a Xenomorph in Session 36 for all the party to witness. Taken deep into a sinkhole.

Hearticus (L1 Cleric) Total XP: 0. Gored to death by giant horned beetles in Session 39 after projectile vomiting all over himself from the stink of sewer sludge.

Mickey Mouser (L1 Thief) Total XP: 0. Gored to death by giant horned beetles in Session 39 in the happiest place on earth: the Cyfaraun sewer!

Alexa this is so sad play "The Mickey Mouse Club theme"

ACKS Session 38: Wilderness Trekking [Crafting Hooks for Real D&D Play]

Players adventured for 22 days and parked in Turos Veren on 12/30/2021. Needing one day of rest as per ACKS rules, players can make downtime requests and participate in sessions on 01/01/2022 and after.

Foreword

I haven't crafted a hook for this campaign in like 30 sessions because having Patrons and real player agency for PCs leads to dozens of hooks. What's more is those hooks are going to be more interesting to players than anything I come up with. Why? Because the players would have had a hand in designing the hook just by virtue of following the threads and concepts in the campaign world that interest them. 

The hook this session was yet another Treasure Map. The map had some scribbled notes about how there were some fancy magic items at an elf mage's "backup lab". This included the "Shield of Stone", assumed to be a shield with some very good protection magic. 

Here's the thing: this treasure map was given to the PCs by a Patron (Magna Legate Drakon) on the agreement they'd bring him the Shield of Stone. Everything else at the "backup lab" was theirs to claim. 

This treasure map was in the world due to Drakon leading a campaign into the forest, randomly generated whenever he hook a Hill Giant's Lair down with his troops. 

So Patron play in downtime created a hook for Session 38; but only because the PC players interacted with a Patron and came to an agreement! This is so much more interesting, and leads to better worldbuilding, than hooks designed by a DM. 

Get Patrons into your campaign asap and you'll never need to push another boring hook on your PCs!

Session Report

Oh my how they traveled.

The party left Cyfaraun with many cavalry mercenaries and a wagon. Gaius (PC Fighter Level 4) didn't show up during the planning phase of the session and PCs were worried he might not arrive to lead his cavalry units. That's kind of his thing.

I made a house rule where allied PCs can trade mercenary units around for session play if their regular PC leader can't make a session. But it instigates a loyalty check, wherein the mercs might quit the employ of their leader. So players were loathe to risk it so Daria (PC Bladedancer Level 5) could lead them.

Thankfully Gaius showed up just before they left Cyfaraun and it didn't come to that. 

The Party traveled for some days to the town of Luseatem (where many PCs were "Parked" after tangling with a xenomorph ). They traded out some PCs notably the monk Radames (PC Mystic Level 1) decided to stay in Luseatem and Aurora (PC Priestess Level 2) joined up with her retinue of very good henchmen. 

This decision in particular may have saved the party from taking some major losses. Read on and find out how.

So anyway the travel continued and there were no hostile random encounters. It seemed no monsters wanted to risk death by taking on the Party and their 35 or so cavalrymen. The party arrived further north along the Line than they have ever been, at Turos Gundan. Players stumbled over themselves and cross-talked the mics with all various forms of jokes about giant robots and weebs. Gaius, for his part, kept the jokes in character and riffed on what a long strange trip his adventuring career has been. He's one of only two PCs that has survived since session 1 and recently got Energy Drained (Level Drained) so lost some memories.

He got drunk at the tavern and waxed nostalgic about old PC allies, putting his arm around Daria (calling her Darius, the player's assassin that died back in session three lol) and asked about where various LONG DEAD comrades were. "Don't worry Darius, with Mandonio (Deceased PC Fighter Level 3) holding the front line with me, we'll never fail!"

It was good stuff.

on the road again

The next day the party left Turos Giant Robot and a few hours into their northward travel I rolled a random encounter of 70 wild horses with a Neutral reaction (??????). The dice are weird.

The players realized this right here was a resource and Daria used Charm Animal spell on "the alpha horse". Then cast "Speak with Animals" to convince the Alpha Horse to take all of his herd with the PCs. The Players enjoy making me do the animal voices in the campaign... forcing me to do more and more outlandish animal voices and thought processes is a running joke on its own.

Alpha Horse thought Daria was just a great gal and he agree to lead his herd up to Turos Veren. Once there the party double crossed Alpha Horse and penned him and his crew up so they could be sold later at great profit. 

The next day the party took a ferry across the Krysivor River and treked into the Istrith Forest for the first time. Rumor has it the Istrith Forest is a land of elves and fey, now nomadic and angry since the beastmen and an ancient dragon claimed the city that once hid in the midst of the tall redwoods of the forest.

I was happy something finally got the PCs to go into the wilderlands of my campaign. They've been running circles around the inside of the borders since session 1, only braving the wild side of the river (and the Unbroken Line) two times. 

The travel went quite well. It took many days of in-gameworld time for PCs to trek deep into the Istrith Forest in search of the Elf Home ("backup laboratory") that was marked on their treasure map. They got lost for a day and needed to backtrack at one point. But they even stumbled upon a random treasure cache which was hidden in an old elf ruin. Big bags of coins in the floorboards just waiting to be pulled up and claimed. There was a love potion in with the treasure as well. 

They made their way to the location of the treasure map and were able to pinpoint the exact location within a few hours; which is quite amazing considering the d20 rolls they have to make to find the X on a wilderness treasure map with my house rules.

On the way back from the Elf Home to Turos Veren and civilization they came upon an Evil Altar which I improvised as being the stick figures hanging from trees from "Blair Witch Project". Spooky! But also a resource since the players blessed the location and destroyed the stick figures gaining 100 XP for every Lawful PC or Henchman of the expedition. 

There were no hostile random encounters after days and days of travel in the deep dark forest. I was shocked. Considering how profitable this trek was turning out to be, I was annoyed it was going to be so easy! My reputation as a Killer DM was hanging in the balance. Could I live this down?

On the last day before they got back to Turos Veren to cash out with their treasure and gain XP they were attacked by like 9 Hostile Werewolves who go surprise on the party. It was on. I was surely going to take some henchmen down at the very least. I was pumped!

Aurora's player stopped me with a question. "Niveeda (Henchman to Aurora, Explorer Level 1) has less chance of being surprised. Did she perhaps not get surprised?" I checked my dice. Oh no. Most groups are surprised on a 1 or 2 on a d6 but Niveeda is only surprised on a 1. I rolled a 2.

maybe next time, fellas

Because she wasn't surprised and because she had a special ability to evade wilderness encounters more effectively, Niveeda was able to get the group out of a combat with the werewolves where they'd certainly take some losses.

I was crestfallen. 

The party got out of the Istrith Forest, having been there almost two weeks, without any hostile encounters. Amazing. It was a very successful wilderness adventure for the party and, despite my jokes above, I'm proud of their success.

Surviving PCs Present

Aurora (0% XP bonus) Level 2 Priestess. 1,455 XP Gained. Total: 3,063 [LEVEL UP TO 3!]

Daria (0% XP bonus) Level 5 Bladedancer. 1,455 XP Gained. Total: 17,323

Gaius (10% XP bonus) Level 4 Fighter. 1,601 XP Gained. Total: 10,114

Marn (10% XP bonus) Level 3 Mage. 1,491 XP Gained. Total: 8,248

Timur (10% XP bonus) Level 2 Barbarian. 1,491 XP gained. Total: 3,650

Xanthos. Level 1 Cleric. 1,491 XP gained. Total: 1,958 [LEVEL UP TO 2!]

Henchmen present

Niveeda (Level 1 Explorer for Aurora)

Prajna (Level 1 Fighter for Aurora)

Akshat, Faruk, Kudret, Shems, Umashtar (Level 0 bros to Timur) 

Deceased:

Dama (L1 Venturer) played by RR.  Current total xp: 75. DECEASED. Poison gas in Session 3.

Darius LeVay (L1 Assassin) played by JB. Current Total XP:451. DECEASED. Poison gas in Session 3.

Donald the Guardsman (L1 Fighter) played by MP. Current Total XP:570. DECEASED. Intra-party justice in Session 3.

Felix (L1 Thief) played by Nicholas. Current Total XP:431. DECEASED. Poison gas in Session 3.

Hektor (L1 Paladin) played by Moai. DECEASED. Cause of Death: goblin warg rider throat removal surgery in Session 2

Leonidas the Inquisitor (L1 Cleric) played by RR.Current Total XP:498  DECEASED. Frozen undead blistering cold aura left his skin frostbitten and broken in Session 6. Body not recovered.

Mard the Mage (L1 Mage) played by Nicholas. DECEASED. Frozen undead blistering cold aura left his skin frostbitten and broken in Session 6. Body not recovered.

Yolo Baggins "My friends call me Swaggins" (L1 Gnomish Trickster) played by J. DECEASED. Paralyzed and eaten by ghouls in Session 12. Body not recovered.

Jack Filcher (L1 Thief) played by C. DECEASED. Shot full of arrows by Inthorn's brigands in Session 12. Body not recovered.

Swoleous Maximus (L1 Paladin). DECEASED. Captured then drawn and quartered by Inthorn the Brigand warlord in Session 12. Posthumously named "Petty Hero of Turos Tem" by Legate Valerian. Ashes offered a place of pride in the Hospital.

Damianus (L1 Cleric). DECEASED. Captured and beheaded by Inthorn the Brigand warlord in Session 12. Posthumously named "Petty Hero of Turos Tem" by Legate Valerian. Ashes offered a place of pride in the Hospital.

Bucky (L1 Barbarian). DECEASED. Became a illegal pit fighter during his downtime. Had two bouts to the death, winning the first and losing the second. Was killed by Young Jack Sparrow who sashayed into the ring, drank rum, and mogged on Bucky before putting a dagger into his ribs, killing him. This happened during downtime between Session 17 and 18.

Broll Wolf-Eater (L1 Barbarian). Current total XP: 1079. DECEASED. Carried off by harpies after falling for their enchanting song in Session 19.

Brother Franklin (L1 Cleric). DECEASED. Decapitated by a mad cultist of a Lovecraftian slime thing in Session 19.

Felix the Elder (L1 Bard). Total XP 825. DECEASED. Captured by mad cultists and fed to a Lovecraftian slime monster in Session 19.

Templar Flavius Africanus (L1 Cleric). Total XP 7. Killed by the claws and beak of mad harpies in Session 19.

Xendi (L1 Explorer). Total XP 6. DECEASED. Carried off by harpies after falling for their enchanting song in Session 19.

Yllmeeton (L3 Shaman). Total XP 4,563. Bludgeoned by the corpse of a bowmen by Rosie Odonnel hag in Session 21.

Longinus (L2 Assassin). Total XP 2,036. Had his face ripped off by Rosie Odonnel hag in Session 21.

Mandonio (L3 Fighter). Total XP 4,779. Charred to a leprous crisp by diseased Dragon breath in Session 22.

Corydon (L1 Joker). Total XP: 0. Burnt to a crisp by chimera breath so thoroughly his corpse wasn't even fit for the crows. Died with a smile on his face and a song in his heart. that's life and as funny as it seems... some people get their kicks, stomping on a dream... In Session 25.

Donny Keebler (L1 Elven Spellsword). Total XP 2,238. Had his legs burned completely off by chimera fire breath in Session 25.

Marina (L2 Fighter). Total XP: 2,204. Burnt into ash by a chimera fire breath in Session 25.

Gundro (L2 Gnomish Trickster). Total XP: 2,575. Had his mouth and tongue bitten off by a lizardman ambusher in the dank sewers below Cyfaraun in Session 26.

Polydoros (L1 Fighter). Total XP: 0. Had his legs ripped off and eaten by Akira monsters in the dark canopy of the Viaspen Forest in Session 28.

Odrum (L1 Explorer). Total XP: 287. Javelin to the heart from the hands of weird vine goblins hidden in the walls of Ferigno's lair in Session 30.

Garvin the Nutless Wonder (L1 Mage). Total XP: 0. Fell off the side of Ferigno's lair 20 feet to his death in Session 30.

Blackmoon (L1 Assassin). Total XP: 768. Choked to death by BOB from Twin Peaks while stealing treasure from Ferigno's dragon horde in Session 30.

Xanthus (L2 Cleric). Total XP: 2,364. Choked to death by BOB from Twin Peaks while hanging out on the roof of Ferigno's lair in Session 30.

Lord Zyklon (L1 Elven Spellsword). Total XP: 0. LORD ZYKLON DISEMBOWLED LORD ZYKLON upon finding himself on the losing side of the Desolation of Turos Tem.

Turin (L1 Cleric). Total XP: 0. Eaten by Wargs in Session 32.

Rat Face (L2 Thief) Total XP: 1,577. Seemingly grabbed in the dark by a Xenomorph in Session 36. In a sinkhole your party can hear you scream! 

Smarticus (L1 Mage) Total XP: 0. Captured by a Xenomorph in Session 36 for all the party to witness. Taken deep into a sinkhole.

Alexa this is so sad play "Holly Jolly Christmas" by Burle Ives.

ACKS Session 37: Swamp Wise! [How to Run NPCs in Real D&D]

Session was played on 11/24/21 with PCs adventuring for 5 days. Needing 1 day of rest per ACKS rules the PCs can make downtime requests and adventure on and after 11/30/21.

Foreword

Happy Advent Season!

Session Report 

Don't you love it when a plan comes together? Sure that's cool. But what about when PCs make a plan that... doesn't? Also fun! That's what happened this session.

The Party began their adventure in the elven fastness of Oakhilt. They left and traveled on to the major city of Cyfaraun as fast as they might. There they grabbed some of the PCs who had been "parked" in that city some sessions previously.

I think this is fair to the spirt of running multiple parties. Those PCs weren't available in the "town" the major portion of the party started at but if the party can get to where their friends are parked in a reasonable amount of game time then I allow them to convene and switch out PCs (if they wish) at that time. I advise other DMs running these sorts of campaigns to do the same. It helps players who may be skeptical about playing multiple PCs see the benefits of it. Now if there was only an hour left in the session I'd probably tell them they couldn't switch PCs or grab new players or whatever. 

Timothy MadEye (PC Venturer Level 1) spent quite a bit of downtime looking for boats to take the party out to an island out on Lake Laman. Some of the party were convinced that's where Dairin (Deceased Patron Mage Level ???) kept his wizard's tower. Some players are convinced they'll find a nigh empty lair with piles of gold just laying around if they can just find Dairin's abandoned demesnes. Maybe! 

However Proteus (PC Mage Level 2) hasn't been in the party for a very long time indeed. Mage's are an odd lot. They'll just disappear into libraries for months on end reading studies on frogs, film analysis, and existentialism. You know; things no one cares about. The party asked Proteus to use his insane Soothsaying ability. This is a powerful Proficiency in the Adventurer, Conqueror, King System (ACKS) rules where even a low level mage has access to the "Contact Other Plane" spell. I outline how cool the ACKS "PC Template" subsystem back in this session report where Proteus did used this same ability to great effect.

Proteus delved his mind deep into the outer planes this time. He risked a FIFTY PERCENT CHANCE of going insane for TWELVE WEEKS to be able to ask a weirding planar creature 12 questions. With real time play that would mean Proteus would be out of the game for 3 months. Go big or go home!

Well Proteus braved the astral projection of his mind deep into the furthest reaches of the Dubsian Cosmos and did not go insane. He found himself in the Mauve Zone from Twin Peaks Season 3 The Return; entreating with The Fireman. Sure you probably don't get that reference but I don't care. 

I don't recall every question Proteus asked but one was like "Is Dairin's Lair on the island and Lake Laman?" "No." The air went out of the room for the PCs. They really thought it was there and had the boats to get there! Was all their downtime planning wasted?

But they also asked the Fireman if Dairin's abandoned Lair was in the swamp and got a "yes". This is when the plan started evolving (falling apart?)

Instead of going to the island in the Lake they crossed the Lake to Turos Quelle and then commissioned some swift boats to get them out into the Viamir Marsh and start looking around.

Daria's new bff

While crossing the Lake they got a random encounter of a Giant Octopus that, for reasons unknown, was Friendly to the party (Reaction Roll maxed out in their favor). Daria (PC Bladedancer Level 5) used Charm Animal on the thing and plans to charm it every single day to keep it as a pet. It traveled with the party the rest of the session as they crossed waterways and swampways. 

But lets slow down because I promised to teach you, in the title of this report, how to Run NPCs in Real D&D. 

Short Version: NPCs just aren't that important. Accept it and you'll know how to run NPCs in real D&D. 

Long Version: NPC can be completely ignored until the NPC is needed. They don't need to be pre-rolled and you don't need to know who every blacksmith, cooper, or even who every Prince is. Players don't care so much about that sort of pre-made worldbuilding by the DM. What players care about is the worldbuilding they were involved in live. They care about the NPCs they were able to give their own input on during its creation. 

This session has an example: Leadfoot Joe.

While the Party was rumormonging around Turos Quelle about where Dairin's lair might be Radames (PC Mystic Level 1) decided to "go to the docks and check the rumor mill". He succeeded in his roll for this and I made some dumb Old Prospector type voice like "oh yeah we heard there were lizardmen getting riled up in the swamp. Leadfoot Joe can't stop talking about it." 

Where did the name come from? No idea. I think I was listening to some Leadbelly that week and it just seemed like a good name. 

Players loved the stupid name. They were enamored. They just HAD to look into this Leadfoot Joe guy. 

When they dealt with the Legate of Turos Quelle (and NPC they soundly ignored and didn't care about despite him having his own keep, ships, etc) they basically decided for me that Leadfoot Joe MUST be a ships captain, right? He's known down at the docks! 

Even more, they went and FOUND Leadfoot Joe and essentially demanded he admiral their fleet of four swift boats into the swamps. Clearly he can do this right? 

Well... who knows. I made up the name from thin air. He was nothing before the session started. His importance to the session and Players was created as we went. 

As the session went on I leaned into the absurdity of it all. He was INDEED qualified to admiral a fleet of four swift-boats (he's Leadfoot Joe for goodness sakes!). I gave him the same dumb Ol' Prospector voice I gave the unnamed NPC from before (no one noticed) and now and then I'd have him comment on how he got his name. Was he just slow or had a bad leg? NO!

He had begun to gather (very stupid) backstory. PCs made jokes that became his backstory. When we talked about how the ships might sink they of course joked that poor Leadfoot Joe would sink like a stone due to his... lead foot. 

So I had him confirm the whole tragic tale.

"Oh dag nabbit this reminds me of that time I stuck my foot in a bucket of hot lead on a bet! Worth every penny!"

Anyway as you can see NPCs are better when Players have their hand in the creation. We did something similar with The Dude.

You might say "well how can I remember all the NPCs in the world... like if I make up a shopkeep during one of the Player's shopping trips and he wants to go back to that guy... I'll forget!"

No. If the NPC is worth remembering one of the Players will remember him. Or you, the DM, will remember him. If he gets forgotten then he wasn't worthy of the campaign in the first place. Real D&D filters out the bad ideas and leaves only the good stuff for Players and DM to engage with, in this way.

So anyway back to the session report.

Leadfoot Joe led the Party into the swamp on swift boats owned by the Legate of Turos Quelle. They spent a few days in a literal a metaphorical quagmire of trying to find Dairin's lair without a very good idea of where it was (if it was in the swamp at all). The PCs had trouble rejiggering their session plan after they were certain they'd go to the Island on the Lake. So this was all being planned as they went.

During this time they got attacked multiple times by giant alligators who crashed from the mud, ate a bunch of archer mercenaries then disappeared into the mire. Players became pretty annoyed.

Session time was running out and players worried they'd make no Big Score but they lucked out on random encounters and found a Wight Lair. The party of dungeon delvers pulled up to the island crypt and marched into it. 

They easily killed the 2 Wights laired there but not before Gaius (PC Fighter Level 5) took a hit and get Energy Drained (Level Drained), losing a ton of XP and a level. It was a bummer. The Wight lair had a handful of gems and PCs did pretty well on XP gains otherwise.

When they got back in the boats and continued to the edge of the swamp they realized they had been lost the whole time. So they weren't even sure if they were searching the areas they were supposed to.

Guess who they blamed? I know you can.

Leadfoot Joe! 

He was the biggest hero and most liked NPC since The Dude but by the end of the session he was the goat. The reason for their failure. A representation of everything that went wrong that session.

But that's what happens to NPC's in Real D&D.

Surviving PCs Present

BriarWhisper (5% xp bonus): Elven Ranger Level 4. 489 XP gained. Total: 13,745

Daria (0% XP bonus): BladeDancer Level 5. 466 XP gained. Total: 15,868

Gaius (10% XP bonus): Fighter Level 4. Energy Drained from 2,189 xp down to 8,000 XP. 513 XP gained from adventure. Total: 8,513

Marn (10% XP bonus): Mage Level 3. 513 XP Gained. Total: 6,757

Proteus (5% XP bonus) Mage Level 1. 489 XP gained. Total: 2,781 [LEVED UP TO 2!]

Radames (0% XP bonus) Mystic Level 1. 466 XP gained. Total: 466

Timur (10% XP bonus) Barbarian Level 1. 513 XP gained. Total: 2,159

Zoria (5% XP bonus) Mage level 1. 489 XP gained. Total: 500

Henchmen Present

Jane the Cleric (Daria), MistWeaver the Elven Spellsword (BriarWhisper), Raven the Elven Ranger (BriarWhisper), and Yuno the anime warrior gal (Proteus) each get 233 XP.

Deceased:

Dama (L1 Venturer) played by RR.  Current total xp: 75. DECEASED. Poison gas in Session 3.

Darius LeVay (L1 Assassin) played by JB. Current Total XP:451. DECEASED. Poison gas in Session 3.

Donald the Guardsman (L1 Fighter) played by MP. Current Total XP:570. DECEASED. Intra-party justice in Session 3.

Felix (L1 Thief) played by Nicholas. Current Total XP:431. DECEASED. Poison gas in Session 3.

Hektor (L1 Paladin) played by Moai. DECEASED. Cause of Death: goblin warg rider throat removal surgery in Session 2

Leonidas the Inquisitor (L1 Cleric) played by RR.Current Total XP:498  DECEASED. Frozen undead blistering cold aura left his skin frostbitten and broken in Session 6. Body not recovered.

Mard the Mage (L1 Mage) played by Nicholas. DECEASED. Frozen undead blistering cold aura left his skin frostbitten and broken in Session 6. Body not recovered.

Yolo Baggins "My friends call me Swaggins" (L1 Gnomish Trickster) played by J. DECEASED. Paralyzed and eaten by ghouls in Session 12. Body not recovered.

Jack Filcher (L1 Thief) played by C. DECEASED. Shot full of arrows by Inthorn's brigands in Session 12. Body not recovered.

Swoleous Maximus (L1 Paladin). DECEASED. Captured then drawn and quartered by Inthorn the Brigand warlord in Session 12. Posthumously named "Petty Hero of Turos Tem" by Legate Valerian. Ashes offered a place of pride in the Hospital.

Damianus (L1 Cleric). DECEASED. Captured and beheaded by Inthorn the Brigand warlord in Session 12. Posthumously named "Petty Hero of Turos Tem" by Legate Valerian. Ashes offered a place of pride in the Hospital.

Bucky (L1 Barbarian). DECEASED. Became a illegal pit fighter during his downtime. Had two bouts to the death, winning the first and losing the second. Was killed by Young Jack Sparrow who sashayed into the ring, drank rum, and mogged on Bucky before putting a dagger into his ribs, killing him. This happened during downtime between Session 17 and 18.

Broll Wolf-Eater (L1 Barbarian). Current total XP: 1079. DECEASED. Carried off by harpies after falling for their enchanting song in Session 19.

Brother Franklin (L1 Cleric). DECEASED. Decapitated by a mad cultist of a Lovecraftian slime thing in Session 19.

Felix the Elder (L1 Bard). Total XP 825. DECEASED. Captured by mad cultists and fed to a Lovecraftian slime monster in Session 19.

Templar Flavius Africanus (L1 Cleric). Total XP 7. Killed by the claws and beak of mad harpies in Session 19.

Xendi (L1 Explorer). Total XP 6. DECEASED. Carried off by harpies after falling for their enchanting song in Session 19.

Yllmeeton (L3 Shaman). Total XP 4,563. Bludgeoned by the corpse of a bowmen by Rosie Odonnel hag in Session 21.

Longinus (L2 Assassin). Total XP 2,036. Had his face ripped off by Rosie Odonnel hag in Session 21.

Mandonio (L3 Fighter). Total XP 4,779. Charred to a leprous crisp by diseased Dragon breath in Session 22.

Corydon (L1 Joker). Total XP: 0. Burnt to a crisp by chimera breath so thoroughly his corpse wasn't even fit for the crows. Died with a smile on his face and a song in his heart. that's life and as funny as it seems... some people get their kicks, stomping on a dream... In Session 25.

Donny Keebler (L1 Elven Spellsword). Total XP 2,238. Had his legs burned completely off by chimera fire breath in Session 25.

Marina (L2 Fighter). Total XP: 2,204. Burnt into ash by a chimera fire breath in Session 25.

Gundro (L2 Gnomish Trickster). Total XP: 2,575. Had his mouth and tongue bitten off by a lizardman ambusher in the dank sewers below Cyfaraun in Session 26.

Polydoros (L1 Fighter). Total XP: 0. Had his legs ripped off and eaten by Akira monsters in the dark canopy of the Viaspen Forest in Session 28.

Odrum (L1 Explorer). Total XP: 287. Javelin to the heart from the hands of weird vine goblins hidden in the walls of Ferigno's lair in Session 30.

Garvin the Nutless Wonder (L1 Mage). Total XP: 0. Fell off the side of Ferigno's lair 20 feet to his death in Session 30.

Blackmoon (L1 Assassin). Total XP: 768. Choked to death by BOB from Twin Peaks while stealing treasure from Ferigno's dragon horde in Session 30.

Xanthus (L2 Cleric). Total XP: 2,364. Choked to death by BOB from Twin Peaks while hanging out on the roof of Ferigno's lair in Session 30.

Turin (L1 Cleric). Total XP: 0. Eaten by Wargs in Session 32.

Rat Face (L2 Thief) Total XP: 1,577. Seemingly grabbed in the dark by a Xenomorph in Session 36. In a sinkhole your party can hear you scream! 

Smarticus (L1 Mage) Total XP: 0. Captured by a Xenomorph in Session 36 for all the party to witness. Taken deep into a sinkhole.

Alexa this is so sad play "Friends in Low Places" by Hank Williams Jr.