Introduction
So recently Jeffro Johnson decided to go full tilt against poor old Dunder Moose's time DMing the "Hel Delvers" portion of my UMBROS Total Nonstop Braunstein. And by "full tilt," I mean Jeffro produced roughly half a dozen Substack posts detailing what he perceived to be Moose's many sins against DMing and dungeon design.Before getting to the resulting JEFFRO JOHNSON OFFICIAL DUNGEON DESIGN CHALLENGE, some background is necessary.
When I call it "my UMBROS campaign," then, I don't mean that I was its sole DM. I was what I have come to think of as the Booker: the guy managing the campaign state, milieu, and interaction between its different parts. This arrangement was intentional. One thing I wanted to test was whether the UMBROS module contained enough information for other people to run a Total Nonstop Braunstein without requiring BDubs himself to sit behind every screen.
My conception of the TNB at the time also divided campaign play into three different tiers, each with its own DM.
Adventure Tier
This was Dunder Moose's territory: roughly Level 1 through Level 5 PCs mucking around in a sort of Whocaresville environment, learning AD&D while the DM himself learned AD&D.
For this I devised what I thought was an exceedingly simple megadungeon setup. A Moon Pool sat one hex from a "safe" wizard's tower where adventurers could recuperate between sorties. The Moon Pool transported them directly into Level 1 of the megadungeon.
Here Jeffro's chief criticism of Moose is basically the same as mine.
The PCs should have enjoyed easy access to Level 1 and gradually discovered routes into Levels 2, 3, and beyond. As they gained levels, confidence, information, and greed, they could decide for themselves how deeply they wished to descend. The players would choose the danger.
Moose instead placed a 6 HD creature and Grimtooth style "rocks fall, everybody dies" traps at the Moon Pool or between it and the dungeon proper. I would not have advised this. Rather than giving low level PCs a reliable entrance into the campaign's adventure environment, the entrance itself became a substantial obstacle.
Braunstein Session Tier
The Gelatinous Rube was supposed to run this weekly or biweekly. Faction Leaders could meet, scheme, threaten one another, arrange alliances, order armies across the map, attempt assassinations, and otherwise behave like Faction Leaders. Anything too complicated for an ordinary four hour Braunstein, say a massive battle, could simply be Docketed for later resolution.
The problem here was different.
UMBROS contains a chapter specifically titled "Running Your First UMBROS Braunstein." I had carefully designed and playtested that scenario to be about the easiest Braunstein Session I could imagine running while still generating maximum long term Convergence.
The premise is simple: contrive an excuse to put the Faction Leaders, and/or their important henchmen, in the same town for several days.
That's it.
Let them insult one another. Let them scheme. Let them form grudges and alliances. Adjudicate an assassination attempt or two and perhaps a D&D scale skirmish. The consequences then ripple outward into the larger campaign.
Rube instead ran something closer to the considerably more complicated situation implied in BROZER, with Faction Leaders beginning at their respective strongholds and marching armies against one another.
That's a lot.
Even figuring out army movement rates consumes DM and player energy that ought to be spent on Convergences, roleplay, and schemes. I believe that choice contributed substantially to Rube and the Faction Leader players burning out rather than continuing the weekly or biweekly Session Braunsteins I had originally envisioned.
Braunstein Downtime Tier
This one was mine, and I have continued running it since UMBROS launched.
I adjudicate Downtime Orders from both ordinary Adventure Tier PCs and Faction Leaders. It has certainly had its ups and downs, and the procedures have evolved enormously, but something like 90% of what appears in the This Week in UMBROS series originates here.
So I think we can safely call that portion of the experiment a success.
Indeed, much of my recent work with Docketing, GOSS, and SEEN has been about improving precisely this part of the Total Nonstop Braunstein.
THE DUNGEON DESIGN CHALLENGE
Which finally brings us back to Jeffro and poor old Dunder Moose.
After his days of criticism, Jeffro challenged Moose over Substack to design a new Level 1 dungeon and thereby demonstrate that he had learned something both from the shortcomings of his original UMBROS megadungeon and from Jeffro's critique of it.
And that got me thinking.
Dunder Moose's Level 1 Dungeon can be found here. I find it to be a mostly inoffensive low level dungeon. Jeffro's critique of it can be found here. Jeffro found it to be offensively bad.
Jeffro's critique hinges on the idea of getting PCs interested in engaging with the dungeon, not leaving it behind, and returning to it again and again in a Braunstein style AD&D campaign. Jeffro learned a great deal from running his Trollopulous campaign about dungeon designing for a bunch of Braunstein minded neer-do-wells. And Mount Glovermore had PCs coming back again and again.
With all this in mind, I have submitted my own Level 1 Dungeon for Jeffro's critique. I made this dungeon map in about 5 minutes (as the picture will show) and (other than room 1) I will make up the contents of the rest in the time it takes me to write this blog post. This dungeon can be used as a portion of the Helrock Megadungeon in an UMBROS campaign (with the "Start" being a hallway jutting off from a large level 1 of a megadungeon) or as the full Level 1 of a new stand alone megadungeon (with the "Start" being at the end of some steps leading down from the overworld in your own campaign).
Dungeon Lair of the Eyeless
Backstory
A bunch of grimlocks live here. The entry for Grimlocks is found on page 43 of the AD&D Fiend Folio. They've stacked all their treasure in room 1 because who cares why.
Room 1: This room glows with magic light. As such, it can be seen all the way down the hall to START. PCs will see a giant gong hanging in the center of the room with 1 Grimlock sleeping next to it on a stool. He's holding a mallet which he will use to bang the Hel out of the gong if he wakes up or notices the PCs. This will draw the grimlocks out of all the nearby rooms. All of the Grimlock's Lair Treasure glitters here to be seen from START. The bait should be obvious. PCs will want to sneak down the entire hallway but the doors along the hallway likely have other grimlocks inside who will be alert by the gong if they screw it up. Don't forget the 10 foot deep pit trap right before the room. Put a shrieker inside that who screams if a PC falls in.
Grimlocks have Lair Treasure B (Monster Manual page 105). The max Lair treasure would be as follows:
8,000 Copper Pieces (Becomes 2,000)
6,000 Silver Pieces (Becomes 1,500)
4,000 Electrum Pieces (Becomes 1,000)
3,000 Gold Pieces (keep it 3,000)
4 Gems (make these inset in the gong itself so it's valuable or the thief will want to pry them out if he gets to the room alone)
1 Jewelry that the Gong Guard wears as pride of his station. It's magic amulet of Protection From Normal Missiles and has Continual Light cast on it as well. So no sniping Mister Grimlock guard from down the hall.
1 Sword or Armor or Misc Weapon: Give this to the Grimlock leader in Room 2 instead of in this room
I will bump the treasure down from the max as we determine how many grimlocks are in the lair less than 200 (which is the maximum amount). After looking it over the grimlocks are about 17% of the max lair number so I dropped most of the treasure down to 25% of max. I kept the GP high so the score is still something that will excite the players. Keep in mind grimlocks also have individual treasure as per the MM. The amulet is also pretty valuable as Jeffro correctly points out most PCs will simply want to sell it if they can secure it back to town.
Room 2: Here like 20 Grimlocks have a bunch of old furniture set up on the east side of the room at A and at B they've hung up a bunch of silver bells at B. The bells act as an alarm for the undead (mostly skeletons) that are always coming up this large hallway from Level 2 of the dungeon. Level 2 of the dungeon is mostly undead themed. The grimlock chief is in this room usually helping with the defense.
Room 3: Here 12 grimlocks play toss the cat with a calico housecat. They laugh when it screeches. The cat belongs to what amounts to an NPC princess in your game world. Turns out grimlocks like to kidnap cats and the princess has more than a few that they have done this to.
Room 4: There's an Altar to Hel here where grimlocks who meditate with complete silence will heal up 1 HP per Turn. There are 20 Grimlocks here at any point. The altar is pure evil and actually attracts the undead from Room 2 B.
Room 5: Cell with a L3 Cleric of Hel. This dude was captured by the grimlocks and had his eyes gouged out. He used to be in control of this altar room until the grimlocks found him. If saved he'll promise about anything but will try to get down to Level 2 of the dungeon to beg Hel or Moriva for the return of his sight.
Room 6: Empty Rooms. Figure something out, you're the DM right?
Room 7: Magic Pool full of golden liquid. Just listen to the comments the PCs make about what the pool might do and then make it do that if someone chooses to swim in it or drink it.
Room 8: I can't think of anything actually. Just don't use suggestions from idiots on your twitter timeline, whatever you do!
Random Encounter Chart
I am just going to use the one I created for the Helrock MegaDungeon in my actual UMBROS campaign. If you are a PC in that game don't read this chart. It's rolled on with a 1d8+1d12. Roll to see if there's an encounter every 3 turns the PCs navigate the dungeon.
Dundermoose had access to this chart and decided to go to his twitter timeline of nincompoops instead of using my masterful work. Can you imagine? No wonder Jeffro was so mean about all this...
Random Encounter Chart (Level 1)[1d8+1d12]:6 (Rare): Caveman (MM 67)
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