Friday, February 11, 2022

ACKS Session 43: Going Beserk on Doors! [and why the osr is lame]

Session was played on 01/26/2022 with PCs adventuring for 2 days. Needing 1 day of rest as per ACKS rules they can adventure and make downtime requests on 01/30/2022 and after.


Repent and believe in the Gospel.

Session Report

This is going to be a short session report because I don't have much to say on the session play itself except it was very fun and we enjoyed ourselves. 

they can't break on through to 
the other side

The PCs delved the dungeon beneath the city during this session, going deep to find themselves at the Nethercity yet again. We've played the Nethercity module quite a bit lately and I will soon put up a review of the ACKS module. Short review is "it's fantastic". Longer review will go into why. Stay tuned!

The party descended the winding sewage covered steps of the Nethercity and entered the crypt chamber that they had opened months back when they saved Marn (PC Mage Level 4). When they entered this crypt back then they just grabbed him and ran, scared of all the bugs and undead in the place. But there were two crypt doors still in the room leading north to, possibly, more treasure and adventure.

Unfortunately these doors were massive stone slabs and the party was full of a bunch of low Strength weaklings (Explorer, Mage, Cleric, Thief, Priestess...). They simply could not open these doors. They tried for a bit to no avail. 

So they did what any reasonable party of adventurers would do, they had their new mage Hardar II (PC Mage Level 1) use his only spell for the day to Summon Beserkers to take on the difficult task of opening the doors.

Lets talk about Hardar II. Last session Hardar I died in dramatic fashion. His player rolled yet another Mage with Necromancer template and decided that the backstory for Hardar II was that Hardar I was an imposter. Hardar II is the TRUE evil mastermind that will become the most evil entity in the universe... by killing all the other evil creatures. That's how we do backstory in the brosr, folks

When Hardar II did not hit on Rapunzel (PC Priestess Level 3) like Hardar I used to, the priestess started calling him "Gaydar". 

So Hardar II was annoyed to use his spell for something so mundane, and the besekerkers he summoned were pretty angry to be pulled out of Valhalla for this. This assignment was neither shiny nor chrome. 

But they opened one of the doors. Beyond it was another crypt room with a bunch of skeletons that attacked. Rapunzel and Lyxanthos (PC Cleric level 1) turned them easily and the rest of the party beat them to dust. They grabbed the canoptic treasure in this room and were yet again stopped by two more large stone crypt doors.

So they did what any adventuring party would do and went back up to the surface, slept and got their spells back, and came back. This was 6 random encounter rolls. Statistically one should have hit but it didn't. Annoying. Yet 1:1 time marched on so it's fine.

The Beserkers were beyond annoyed to have been summoned yet again to open a door but they obeyed. And the stone door frame trap fell on their head and killed them all. The party wiped their tears and looted the room beyond. 

Then the party explored some of the volcanic tubes outside the crypt and came upon some ghouls. The ghouls surprised the party got a few attacks off and killed some henchmen. Kortes (PC Explorer level 3) was not surprised but he missed his shot with an arbalest at the ghouls. The party's clerics eventually  turned undead them and then killed the ghouls.

Then they took their modest treasure back up to the surface and we finished for the night. 


This was more of an exploration session for the party. Last session they had a treasure map to a nice haul but it seems they were exploring the possibility that this dungeon, right beneath the city, might have some more good hauls. Yet they'd have to look around a bit to see. 

They came back to the Nethercity in subsequent sessions so, despite this treasure haul being pretty small compared to last session, it must have been enough to fish them back.

For my part I'm very happy for this development. The downtime actions of PCs and Patrons is starting to really stack up and it's a bit stressful here and there. I've got multiple Patrons these days who are marching armies around and sending me requests and questions. I'm enjoying it fine but everything involved is so BIG and IMPORTANT that I was very happy to have a simple dungeon delve for the session proper this week.

This is one way in which Real D&D delivers all kinds of gaming; even creating a sort of break for the DM to chill out for a delve now and then. Nu-skool 6e and osr style gaming can't do this naturally.

I said a while back that the OSR is done and that the battle for the heart of True D&D is between nu-skool 6e fans and the BROSR. This last week it seems to have come to a head. Alot of former OSR dudes like rpgpund1t are aligning with the woke 6e folk. Why?

It seems the weaker dudes among the osr are mad that the BROSR refuse to take a subjective stance on gaming (or anything else). I coined the hashtag #ObjectivelyCorrrect about a a year ago because we are, in fact, objectively correct that our D&D campaigns are better. 

It's not a subjective question of aesthetics or a utilitarian question about whether or not we're having more fun or whatever (though we are) it's that we more closely align with Gygaxian campaign standards. We also are creating living fantasy worlds similarly to something Tolkien did before writing his books. Now, our worlds are stupid nonsense compared to Middle Earth but that's because it's shaped by a bunch of bros with divergent interests and/or inside jokes trying to crack eachother up.

This aspect happens in fake D&D campaigns, of course. But it's on a lower level wherein the jokes are just about the dungeon being delved that weekm, or the NPC everyone is mad at that night. The campaign concepts the players may create together then get frozen in time since they're not using real time (Jeffrogaxian) timekeeping. The ideas and milieu is stuck with those 5 or 6 PCs. It will never expand and begin to live as BROSR campaigns do. It can't do so, using yo-yo timekeeping.

Real BROSR D&D campaigns are anti-fragile. We keep throwing crazy ideas and crazy ways of interacting with the campaign that SHOULD NOT WORK but somehow they do work. Then the ideas take over and the campaign state changes not just at our table but in the actual breathing game world.

These are objective facts, not subjective claims or theory crafting (like an old dusty osr blog) about what might work or what might be fun. We have over 100 session reports proving it. My campaign alone has done dozens of things I never would have thought D&D could do. 

Subjective ethics and subjective metaphysics is a loser's game. No one truly believes in either because everyone has their opinions which they think are correct; or they wouldn't hold them at all. Fake D&D fans want to apply subjective standards on D&D because they've already ceded much more important territory in their lives to subjective ethics and metaphysics. Once you can no longer say what a man or woman are what does it matter what a game truly is?

osr and 6e be dnd be like
Enemies of the true and the beautiful browbeat good people, generations ago, into embracing subjective outlooks with the claim that hard stances were mean, unsophisticated or lacking humility. "You can be wrong, right?" Sure. No one but megalomaniacs think they can NEVER be wrong. But that got twisted into "well clearly there is no definition of truth", Pilate style. BROSR refuse to cede any ground at all.

The osr are going to continue to side with the nu-skool 6e dnd fans because that's all they can do. Sadly though ttrpgs are shrinking market. w0tc d&d economics isn't really about the books but about the merchandise and y00turb channels and such. OSR dudes can't get paid off of that stuff because no one cares about repping their merch or licensing ideas from their 6 session long campaigns. 

But nany in the osr still want to sell their gaming books and don't want to alienate any of their more moderate audience. To that I have this revamped quote from the fantastic film "A Man For All Seasons" to offer: 

"Why Richard, it profit a man nothing to give his soul for the whole world.. but for PDF sales?"

Surviving PCs Present

Hardar II (10% XP bonus) Level 1 Mage. 494 XP gained. Total: 494

Kortes (0% xp bonus) Level 2 Explorer. 448 XP gained. Total: 4,447

Lyxanthos (10% XP bonus) Level 1 Cleric. 494 xp gained. Total: 494

Nubbs (5% XP bonus) Level 2 Thief. 470 XP gained. Total: 4,017

Powerslave (5% XP bonus) Level 1 Elven Spellsword. 470 xp gained. Total: 470

Rapunzel (10% xp bonus) Level 3 Priestss. 494 XP gained. Total: 7,408


Dama (L1 Venturer) played by RR.  Current total xp: 75. DECEASED. Poison gas in Session 3.

Darius LeVay (L1 Assassin) played by JB. Current Total XP:451. DECEASED. Poison gas in Session 3.

Donald the Guardsman (L1 Fighter) played by MP. Current Total XP:570. DECEASED. Intra-party justice in Session 3.

Felix (L1 Thief) played by Nicholas. Current Total XP:431. DECEASED. Poison gas in Session 3.

Hektor (L1 Paladin) played by Moai. DECEASED. Cause of Death: goblin warg rider throat removal surgery in Session 2

Leonidas the Inquisitor (L1 Cleric) played by RR.Current Total XP:498  DECEASED. Frozen undead blistering cold aura left his skin frostbitten and broken in Session 6. Body not recovered.

Mard the Mage (L1 Mage) played by Nicholas. DECEASED. Frozen undead blistering cold aura left his skin frostbitten and broken in Session 6. Body not recovered.

Yolo Baggins "My friends call me Swaggins" (L1 Gnomish Trickster) played by J. DECEASED. Paralyzed and eaten by ghouls in Session 12. Body not recovered.

Jack Filcher (L1 Thief) played by C. DECEASED. Shot full of arrows by Inthorn's brigands in Session 12. Body not recovered.

Swoleous Maximus (L1 Paladin). DECEASED. Captured then drawn and quartered by Inthorn the Brigand warlord in Session 12. Posthumously named "Petty Hero of Turos Tem" by Legate Valerian. Ashes offered a place of pride in the Hospital.

Damianus (L1 Cleric). DECEASED. Captured and beheaded by Inthorn the Brigand warlord in Session 12. Posthumously named "Petty Hero of Turos Tem" by Legate Valerian. Ashes offered a place of pride in the Hospital.

Bucky (L1 Barbarian). DECEASED. Became a illegal pit fighter during his downtime. Had two bouts to the death, winning the first and losing the second. Was killed by Young Jack Sparrow who sashayed into the ring, drank rum, and mogged on Bucky before putting a dagger into his ribs, killing him. This happened during downtime between Session 17 and 18.

Broll Wolf-Eater (L1 Barbarian). Current total XP: 1079. DECEASED. Carried off by harpies after falling for their enchanting song in Session 19.

Brother Franklin (L1 Cleric). DECEASED. Decapitated by a mad cultist of a Lovecraftian slime thing in Session 19.

Felix the Elder (L1 Bard). Total XP 825. DECEASED. Captured by mad cultists and fed to a Lovecraftian slime monster in Session 19.

Templar Flavius Africanus (L1 Cleric). Total XP 7. Killed by the claws and beak of mad harpies in Session 19.

Xendi (L1 Explorer). Total XP 6. DECEASED. Carried off by harpies after falling for their enchanting song in Session 19.

Yllmeeton (L3 Shaman). Total XP 4,563. Bludgeoned by the corpse of a bowmen by Rosie Odonnel hag in Session 21.

Longinus (L2 Assassin). Total XP 2,036. Had his face ripped off by Rosie Odonnel hag in Session 21.

Mandonio (L3 Fighter). Total XP 4,779. Charred to a leprous crisp by diseased Dragon breath in Session 22.

Corydon (L1 Joker). Total XP: 0. Burnt to a crisp by chimera breath so thoroughly his corpse wasn't even fit for the crows. Died with a smile on his face and a song in his heart. that's life and as funny as it seems... some people get their kicks, stomping on a dream... In Session 25.

Donny Keebler (L1 Elven Spellsword). Total XP 2,238. Had his legs burned completely off by chimera fire breath in Session 25.

Marina (L2 Fighter). Total XP: 2,204. Burnt into ash by a chimera fire breath in Session 25.

Gundro (L2 Gnomish Trickster). Total XP: 2,575. Had his mouth and tongue bitten off by a lizardman ambusher in the dank sewers below Cyfaraun in Session 26.

Polydoros (L1 Fighter). Total XP: 0. Had his legs ripped off and eaten by Akira monsters in the dark canopy of the Viaspen Forest in Session 28.

Odrum (L1 Explorer). Total XP: 287. Javelin to the heart from the hands of weird vine goblins hidden in the walls of Ferigno's lair in Session 30.

Garvin the Nutless Wonder (L1 Mage). Total XP: 0. Fell off the side of Ferigno's lair 20 feet to his death in Session 30.

Blackmoon (L1 Assassin). Total XP: 768. Choked to death by BOB from Twin Peaks while stealing treasure from Ferigno's dragon horde in Session 30.

Xanthus (L2 Cleric). Total XP: 2,364. Choked to death by BOB from Twin Peaks while hanging out on the roof of Ferigno's lair in Session 30.

Lord Zyklon (L1 Elven Spellsword). Total XP: 0. LORD ZYKLON DISEMBOWLED LORD ZYKLON upon finding himself on the losing side of the Desolation of Turos Tem.

Turin (L1 Cleric). Total XP: 0. Eaten by Wargs in Session 32.

Rat Face (L2 Thief) Total XP: 1,577. Seemingly grabbed in the dark by a Xenomorph in Session 36. In a sinkhole your party can hear you scream! 

Smarticus (L1 Mage) Total XP: 0. Captured by a Xenomorph in Session 36 for all the party to witness. Taken deep into a sinkhole.

Hearticus (L1 Cleric) Total XP: 0. Gored to death by giant horned beetles in Session 39 after projectile vomiting all over himself from the stink of sewer sludge.

Mickey Mouser (L1 Thief) Total XP: 0. Gored to death by giant horned beetles in Session 39 in the happiest place on earth: the Cyfaraun sewer!

Aenes (Level 1 Paladin) Total XP: 62. Swarmed by giant flies in the sewer beneath Cyfaraun in Session 40.

Acianus (Level 1 Mage) Total XP: 0. Chopped to pieces in Session 42 by a six armed demon statue from behind and quickly forgotten about by his compatriots who saved MadEye and lamented Hardar instead. But I'll never forget you Acinanu nanu...nanite... nananaa...

Hardar (Level 2 Mage) Total XP: 2,832. Chopped up in Session 42 by a six armed demon statue as he held his Darth Vader Choking Grip spell long enough for his compatriots to escape an unwinnable battle. His dream to become the most evil being in the universe suffers eternally the indignity of being remembered for self sacrifice and laying his life down for his friends.

Alexa this is so sad play "hooker with a p333nis" by Tool

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