Dubzaron Session 79: Vince McMaximus gets MeTooed (how to generate hooks/dungeons with Patrons)

TimeKeeping

This session was played on 11/02/22 with players adventuring for 3 days until 11/05/22 and needing rest on 11/06/22. PCs can take actions 11/07/22.

Participating PCs

Arya Sorrow (Level 1 BladeDancer) [Grade: S]

Baldwinning (Level 1 Cleric, Crusader template) [Grade: S]

Hakon (Level 1 Shaman, Runecaster template) [Grade: S]

Neutralio (Level 2 Fighter, Guard Template) [Grade: E]

Proteus (Level 4 Mage, Soothsayer Template) [Grade: E]

Henchmen

Proteus: Lykaon (L1 Fighter, Mercenary), Primus (Level 0), Secundus (Level 0), Trimus (Level 0)
Neutralio: Sophie (L1 Bladedancer)

Foreword

I'm going to break down some of the behind the scenes downtime stuff that happened and led to the hook in this session. Since the weird way in which this "story" came together is quite amazing to me.

Firstly Drakon's player, having advanced his Patron up to the high level of Prefect, has decided he will help generate hooks and world-in-motion events for Dubzaron campaign. Each week he's been making a Domain Encounter roll check similar to what Macho Mandalf does for the Trollopulous campaign in Machodor. Drakon analyzes what the encounter is, what the Reaction check is, and brainstorms (sometimes with me) what the dice are telling him. 

Recently he had an encounter that was a big lair of Gnomes and their reaction was Neutral-ish. So clearly they weren't trying to attack the Prefect. He decided the gnomes arrival on the scene would have something to do with the Curse Of Lamalla so we brainstormed up an idea that the gnomes Dug Too Deep and came across a portal to Lamalla's plane and octopus tentacles lashed out and killed a bunch of the gnomes, and there was intermittent flooding in their vault-home. So they fled the place, grabbing up as much treasure and goods as they could.

We decided the Gnomes would have copped half of their lair treasure and were offering that as a reward for anyone that could clear out the tentacles and close the evil portal. That would also allow me to explain any other treasure PCs found if they delved the place; it was the other half the gnomes couldn't grab. If you've noticed this means the PCs are taking the gnomes treasure should they cop it during a delve, you're right! Adds a nice story element.

So PCs proceeded to ignore this hook and had no interest at all. However your favorite Sports Entertainment Guru, Vince McMaximus (Patron sleazy syndicate boss, gladiator school proprietor, BROvenloft plane hopper and general) had a BROvenloft hook with the Lawful (kinda) goddess Inanna and he hoped if he could close the portal maybe she'd be impressed with his work. So he came to me and asked if HE could do the hook.

This is the first time a Patron has asked if he could tackle what I'd consider to be a session play PC hook. Because I refuse to do any prep work that will be wasted, I had done no drawing of a dungeon or the gnome's vault or the layout of their camp or anything like that. If the PCs decided they would go there in session play I was going to randomly generate the dungeon using the Random Dungeon Generator which is Appendix A in the first edition D&D Dungeon Masters Guide. 

I use this all the time when PCs throw me a curveball on where they want to go. 

So what to do when a Patron wants to handle a delve himself? Clearly I'm not going to play by post a dungeon delve that's more than a room or two. I don't have the time or interest for that. So I told Vince he could delve the dungeon and run the random generator himself. I feel this was fair since he'd have no way of knowing what's in the place since it would be getting generated randomly as he came upon the rooms and such.

I've used Appendix A in this way so I could run session play adventuring with my kids and bring a PC of my own. 

So what I did is give Vince some unique stipulations on finding the Portal and the encounters he'd meet. Firstly, all the encounters would have a sea creature template overlay. If a random encounter says "goblins" then it's instead the same stats as goblins but they're like guppy men. 

Second, each random encounter would have a 25% chance (rolled first) of being dangerous octopus arms coming from the next room, down a hallway, whatever. They'd always be hostile.

Last, the Portal could only be in a Unique room which on the Appendix A chart for rooms only hits on an 18 on a d20. So 5% chance for each room Vince comes across. THEN there was only 10% x Dungeon Level of that particular unique room being the portal portal room. So the deeper you go the more likely you'd find the portal. Also deeper = more dangerous. Vince would need to roll random encounters for travel as well. Random treasure. All that.

So I gave Vince this little mini-game to play and I told him to pause and wait when he came across the Portal room and we'd run it. So he left me alone for a couple days then came back to me and said they found it on level 2. Lucky guy! 

We ran the combat with the octopus arms coming out of the portal to the plane of elemental water and Vince killed them all. Then he realized "wait how do I close the portal and claim my prize?" Oops!

He decided holy water would be needed but he didn't have any. Oops again!

So he left the dungeon to buy some holy water in Dubzaron and come back. He informed me on 11/02/22 (the exact day of Session 79!) that he'd be going in for his second delve on that day, going straight to the portal room and tossing holy water at it. He'd get back to me if he had random encounters on the way etc etc.

Cool whatever. I forgot about it. Seems like Vince has this knocked right?

Well as usual. PCs throw a wrench in the whole affair. Read on.

Session Report

Who the h*ck are these PCs?! 

Well some of the regular PCs were trapped in TRAINING JAIL after having solid scores in recent sessions. Proteus was kind of the old salty veteran PC even though he's the second PC of Xanthos's player so he the mage doesn't get much play. So it was cool seeing him rise to the challenge and really take control of the session tone and strategy at some points. 

Neutralio is a second (or third?) PC of a player and his backstory is actually that (in his mind) Prefect Drakon (Patron) didn't pay him to pick up Stormbringer since the spaceman patron instead used a robot to do it and put it in his spaceship to toss into the sun.

The rest of that story is history. Yet there stands Neutralio without a big Drakon payout which he, Neutralio, planned to buy a mansion for his mom. So sad!

You snooze you lose, PC. Unless...

The PCs started talking on the mics about how "hey we should hit up that gnome vault hook since it's close to the city". Convenience of reaching the location was the Party's main concern. All the other hooks were so far away they didn't want to get 2nd, 3rd, or (for some players!) even 4th PCs trapped in Time Compression or training jail. 

At this point I'm muting the mic and muttering to myself "how the heck am I going to do this? Vince already found the portal. Is Vince online? Could a get a copy of his map of the dungeon?" I was freaking out. We had a weird time and story intersection with something a Patron was already on top of and the PCs wanted to go get involved. Thing is, they didn't realize Vince was involved or already started the hook. If they'd known I bet they wouldn't have tried. 

But I would never say "no pcs you can't go there because vince is there already" because that would kill player agency. So I used the concept I intended to use with Vince when he tossed the holy water in, namely that the portal would suck in every person in the party and they'd be lost forever inside the plane of elemental water if said person failed a Save Vs Paralysis. 

Additionally, so I could run my OWN random dungeon without needing access to Vinces, I decided that the Portal event also caused an earthquake and all the gnome's halls and such were caved in, reflooded, destroyed etc. Thus we could explain why my dungeon is different than Vince's. Done and done. I decided all this while the PCs were debating the hooks. That little 10 to 30 minutes of Player discussion is the perfect time to ponder what the session might actually look like based on what your players are saying they intend to do. Don't just sit there spinning your dice. Think!

Now lets get to the PCs session play.

The party left Dubzaron traveling along the road. On the first night of camp they were accosted by 2 very angry ents who seemed to be mad with the blood rain their roots had been taking in (translation: I rolled a terrible Reaction check). The treants appeared very close to the party at 20 yards so despite the party not being surprised, they would not be able to Wilderness Evade without there being a round of combat (if there were combat). The ents were open to not "break[ing] every one of the softskins in half" if the party made a tribute and buried 3,000 gp worth of valuables in the copse if trees the treants lived among where PCs had inadvertently made their camp that night. The treants were also open to allowing the "softskins" to offer gardening services for that same amount but, with each PC and hench only being worth 5 gp a day in "construction costs" as per ACKS it would take a very long time for them to garden in the amount of 3,000 gp.

Proteus was calling, didn't want to pay or garden, so he just told all the party members to "run!"

I ruled that PCs could be move to a Wilderness Evade check if they 1. beat the treants initiative or 2. did a defensive movement. If they did defensive movement they might still take attacks. Almost everyone rolled a higher initative than the treants but Neutralio, his hench Sophie and ALL of Proteus's level 0 henchmen were slower than the treants. One of the ents lurched forward and grabbed the heads of all the level 0 henchmen and squished their heads like grapes with chained cleave attacks. The other treant stepped on and killed Lykaon. Neutralio nor his hench Sophie were luckily not attacked (or got missed, I don't remember exactly) and made a fighting withdrawal. Neutralio, true to his alignment, decided to flea alone with his henchwoman and leave the somewhat slower PCs in the group to make their own retreat. The treants chased Neutralio but the Fighter succeeded on his wilderness evade, giving them the slip in the dark red mist filled night among the rolling Auran hills. 

The two split parties had no encounters during their night of hiding and evasion and both made Get Lost checks successfully and found eachother the next day.

The party trekked off the road some days later going towards where they were told the gnomes had set up to await adventurers. I made a Find Lair check for the party when they arrived and rolled a natural 20 so the PCs walked right up to the jittery gnomes. The party learned that Vince McMaximus had delved the dungeon a week previously and came out to admit he needed holy water to deal with the portal he found. He came back on 11/02/22 (the party was now a few days into the future on 11/05/22) and some hours after Vince went back inside the dungeon with his big crew and holy water, there was a massive explosion and the Gnome's vault collapsed in on itself and there was constantly ominous whooshing come from the place. At this point the PCs were talking about how they might be able to save Vince (which all admitted could be cool and maybe Vince would reward them). The gnomes offered the party 2,000 of the 4,000 gp reward if the party could find proof Vince succeeded, or was dead, or whatever. The party readily agreed.

Going into the rainbow arch into the vault (gnomes, amirite?) and came to a collapsing room with wet floors. There were hallways full of rubble going north and east. There was a fully collapsed little hallway going west. the party chose to go north and was climbing over rocks and ducking from the low gnomish ceilings. They climbed over a very large pile of rocks into a chamber where 9 guppymen ambushed them when only about half the party had finished going over the stones and entering the room, essentially splitting the party and making it difficult for them to help eachother. Neutralio got hit hard by spears but didn't fall but Sophie and Lykoan were felled during the short skirmish. After about half of the guppymen were killed Proteus used an Alter Self spell to transform himself into the visage of Lamalla. Proteous speaks Frogmen which was apparently close enough to speak with guppymen and he demanded they submit to Lamalla's will.

I made a Reaction Check for the guppymen and rolled really Friendly so they totally believed Lamalla was standing there and they prostrated and apologized for killing some of her "human servitors". They were picking and dusting Lykoan and Sophie off but Lykoan was a bloodstain on the floor. I have a dark sense of humor.

Sophie's arms were run through with spears and she reached to the Party for healing help but there was none to be had. She died. The party continued deeper into the northern part of the dungeon and pushed open a stuck door finding 5 mudcrab men who also believed Proteus was Lamalla and they swore service to her.  The crabmen and guppymen had some treasure on them which "Lamalla" demanded they turn over to "her". After exploring the northern hallway to two apparent dead ends of collapsing and flooded rooms, the party went back to the first room of the dungeon and ordered their beastmen servants to clear all the rubble from the western hallway. They trekked into the western section of the collapsing vault and found a room with the floor compeltely fallen in on the south eastern side. They set up a rope to climb down the cliff to get deeper since the guppymen told them the room Vince was in had fallen down to level 3 of the dungeon, so the PCs knew they'd have to go deeper in to find him. The guppymen claimed to know "because the portals whisper to us what's happening in the dungeon". 

Exiting the collapsed cliff room, and now on level 3 of the dungeon, the PCs found a hallway which was magically flooded up to their waists. They were moving slower but pushed forward into the dungeon and found a room with treasure chests floating on top of the water. Proteus sent the beastmen in to grab it up and they were attacked by 2 giant toads. I ruled the watery beastmen could hit the water creatures (toads) with natural attacks but not with weapons. The Curse of Lamalla makes all sea creature types immune to non-magic weapons and always hostile.

The toads were killed and no beastmen were lost. They offered the treasure to "Lamalla" who thanked them. Proteus at this point sent the beastmen away and back up to level 1 of the dungeon to chase some red herring "good cleric" he made up. He did this since his Alter Self was about to expire and he had no more spells of that level he could use today. So the party was now missing their free henchmen as they went deeper. Lucky for them they found a room with a somewhat closed portal not too much deeper trekking along level 3 of the dungeon. It was a weird purple and black pulsing portal like a lizard's eye against one wall. 

The party began to debate what they should do. Some wanted to go back to the surface and try again another day after they could heal and get spells back. But some player(s) pointed out the portal seemed to be slowly closing and might not be open much longer. Also in the room were two of Vince's henchfolk Zelda and Bruchard the barbarian. Among the room were many dead ogres and frogmen. 

While Zelda was unconcious with a Mortal Wound, Bruchard told the tale of how Vince's party tossed holy water at the portal and it closed up somewhat but not before sucking hard at all Vince's people, with most flying into the portal and not coming back out. Vince's Ogres and Frogmen did not fly in by the Frogmen apparently turned mad in service of Lamalla and killed the ogres and almost killed Zelda and Bruchard. Bruchard, for some reason, had a Mirror of Life Trapping he was hoofing around and a Wand of Magic Missiles which he let Proteus hold "just in case". The PCs pondered how to turn those resources to their advantage but didn't come up with anything actionable.

Neutralio and Baldwinning decided to enter the portal and had some rope which the party held the other end of (just DND things). On the other side of the portal the Fighter and Cleric found themselves in an infinite ocean as they had apparently crossed over into the elemental plane of water. We had to break out our recent drowning and holding your breath rules as Neutralio swam deeper into the infinite ocean looking for sign of Vince or anything really. He came upon some octopus tentacles which bid him to follow and he did, making a Save Vs Death throw successfully to allow him to swim deeper without losing his breath and drowning. 

Deep in the eternal ocean he came upon an aspect of Lamalla which looked like a woman's torso on the body of an octopus. It had Vince McMaximus all tangled up and was discussing... something... with him. In the background the PCs were private messaging with Vince who confirmed he quickly used his charming personality to get a kiss from a mermaid which allowed him to breathe in the Plane of Elemental water for a few days. He had been spending those days distracting and manosphere style gaming Lamalla into not putting a Geas on him, as all deities can as per the 1e Deities and Demigods book.

He also confirmed he did NOT want to work with Lamalla since, with only 11 Charisma, she's an uggo.

Neutralio swam up with the plan to put a looped end of the rope over Vince. I rolled a Reaction check to see if this would concern Lamalla-octopus and it didn't. (I was rolling really high Reaction checks this session).

Neutralio successfully made a Special Maneuver attack against AC 0 to loop the rope over Vince's body and gave three tugs for the PCs to PUUULLL! I ruled that one of the 3 PCs who could manage to pull the rope had to beat Lamalla-Ocotopus's own attack number and the shaman did so. Vince was pulled away from the goddess's tentacle as she screamed angrily. Neutralio swam back following the rope but failed a Save VS Death and began to drown; meaning he couldn't swim or was going to die soon. It didn't take long for Vince to pop out on the Prime Material Plane side. He quickly thanked the party and told a fast story of seducing a mermaid for a kiss to allow him to breathe underwater. I made a reaction check to see if Vince, being able to breathe underwater, would go back into the portal to Neutralio and I rolled the highest (most friendly) check so Vince dove back in and saved the Fighter. 

At this point Lamalla was angry and began to flood the dungeon profusely and shake and quake the place to collapse it. The party ran out as the halls and rooms were flooded behind them and most of the rooms fell just as they exited. One PC fell down and began to get sucked back into the dungeon by the elemental waters but Vince jumped in to save him before everyone eventually got out safetly. The gnomes were impressed and vowed to rebuild once the portals fully closed. Vince didn't ask for any of the 4000 gp reward so the party got the whole pot. They decided to stay with the gnomes in downtime to "cash out" their gold for XP right away.

Afterword

Vince was pretty bummed he lost all but one of his MANY henchmen he took into the dungeon. Zelda in particular was a big hit to the one time carnival barker. See here where Vince's right hand man (bear) Smokey the Bugbear waxes nostalgic about his time with Zelda on the Joe BROgan show. It's CRRRaaaazy. 

Grading Thoughts

Arya and Baldwinning are Lawful temple folk (Bladedancer and Cleric, respectively) who both allowed the pure evil creatures to walk without demanding they be killed or tricked into being killed. Neither also helped or demanded Lykaon and Sophie's bodies be burned and/or secured and removed from the dungeon for proper rites. Leaving a bladedancer hench's body to rot is especially egregious. So they both failed to catch E for "Excellent" or perfect grades. S is the next grade down.

Hakan the shaman failed to use an available Commune ability which likely could have helped in some way. I consider this similar to the mage grading of having spells available that could have been useful but didn't use them. If I read a book about a shaman who didn't speak to the spirits of his ancestors I'd consider it a missed pulp opportunity.  So S.

Neutralio was bold as a Fighter should be and Neutral as he is. E

Proteus the mage was extra clever with spell use and just doing mage things. his "Soothsaying" ability not being used during a session will only impact Proteus's grades if he was meh otherwise, since using it can be dangerous (making the mage insane for 1 to 9 weeks) I don't consider it the same as a "leftover spell slot" for grading penalty. Proteus seemed to use every spell he could think of to help, also. So E.

Deceased

Dama (L1 Venturer) played by RR.  Current total xp: 75. DECEASED. Poison gas in Session 3.

Darius LeVay (L1 Assassin) played by JB. Current Total XP:451. DECEASED. Poison gas in Session 3.

Donald the Guardsman (L1 Fighter) played by MP. Current Total XP:570. DECEASED. Intra-party justice in Session 3.

Felix (L1 Thief) played by Nicholas. Current Total XP:431. DECEASED. Poison gas in Session 3.

Hektor (L1 Paladin) played by Moai. DECEASED. Cause of Death: goblin warg rider throat removal surgery in Session 2

Leonidas the Inquisitor (L1 Cleric) played by RR.Current Total XP:498  DECEASED. Frozen undead blistering cold aura left his skin frostbitten and broken in Session 6. Body not recovered.

Mard the Mage (L1 Mage) played by Nicholas. DECEASED. Frozen undead blistering cold aura left his skin frostbitten and broken in Session 6. Body not recovered.

Yolo Baggins "My friends call me Swaggins" (L1 Gnomish Trickster) played by J. DECEASED. Paralyzed and eaten by ghouls in Session 12. Body not recovered.

Jack Filcher (L1 Thief) played by C. DECEASED. Shot full of arrows by Inthorn's brigands in Session 12. Body not recovered.

Swoleous Maximus (L1 Paladin). DECEASED. Captured then drawn and quartered by Inthorn the Brigand warlord in Session 12. Posthumously named "Petty Hero of Turos Tem" by Legate Valerian. Ashes offered a place of pride in the Hospital.

Damianus (L1 Cleric). DECEASED. Captured and beheaded by Inthorn the Brigand warlord in Session 12. Posthumously named "Petty Hero of Turos Tem" by Legate Valerian. Ashes offered a place of pride in the Hospital.

Bucky (L1 Barbarian). DECEASED. Became a illegal pit fighter during his downtime. Had two bouts to the death, winning the first and losing the second. Was killed by Young Jack Sparrow who sashayed into the ring, drank rum, and mogged on Bucky before putting a dagger into his ribs, killing him. This happened during downtime between Session 17 and 18.

Broll Wolf-Eater (L1 Barbarian). Current total XP: 1079. DECEASED. Carried off by harpies after falling for their enchanting song in Session 19.

Brother Franklin (L1 Cleric). DECEASED. Decapitated by a mad cultist of a Lovecraftian slime thing in Session 19.

Felix the Elder (L1 Bard). Total XP 825. DECEASED. Captured by mad cultists and fed to a Lovecraftian slime monster in Session 19.

Templar Flavius Africanus (L1 Cleric). Total XP 7. Killed by the claws and beak of mad harpies in Session 19.

Xendi (L1 Explorer). Total XP 6. DECEASED. Carried off by harpies after falling for their enchanting song in Session 19.

Yllmeeton (L3 Shaman). Total XP 4,563. Bludgeoned by the corpse of a bowmen by Rosie Odonnel hag in Session 21.

Longinus (L2 Assassin). Total XP 2,036. Had his face ripped off by Rosie Odonnel hag in Session 21.

Mandonio (L3 Fighter). Total XP 4,779. Charred to a leprous crisp by diseased Dragon breath in Session 22.

Corydon (L1 Joker). Total XP: 0. Burnt to a crisp by chimera breath so thoroughly his corpse wasn't even fit for the crows. Died with a smile on his face and a song in his heart. that's life and as funny as it seems... some people get their kicks, stomping on a dream... In Session 25.

Donny Keebler (L1 Elven Spellsword). Total XP 2,238. Had his legs burned completely off by chimera fire breath in Session 25.

Marina (L2 Fighter). Total XP: 2,204. Burnt into ash by a chimera fire breath in Session 25.

Gundro (L2 Gnomish Trickster). Total XP: 2,575. Had his mouth and tongue bitten off by a lizardman ambusher in the dank sewers below Cyfaraun in Session 26.

Polydoros (L1 Fighter). Total XP: 0. Had his legs ripped off and eaten by Akira monsters in the dark canopy of the Viaspen Forest in Session 28.

Odrum (L1 Explorer). Total XP: 287. Javelin to the heart from the hands of weird vine goblins hidden in the walls of Ferigno's lair in Session 30.

Garvin the Nutless Wonder (L1 Mage). Total XP: 0. Fell off the side of Ferigno's lair 20 feet to his death in Session 30.

Blackmoon (L1 Assassin). Total XP: 768. Choked to death by BOB from Twin Peaks while stealing treasure from Ferigno's dragon horde in Session 30.

Xanthus (L2 Cleric). Total XP: 2,364. Choked to death by BOB from Twin Peaks while hanging out on the roof of Ferigno's lair in Session 30.

Lord Zyklon (L1 Elven Spellsword). Total XP: 0. LORD ZYKLON DISEMBOWLED LORD ZYKLON upon finding himself on the losing side of the Desolation of Turos Tem.

Turin (L1 Cleric). Total XP: 0. Eaten by Wargs in Session 32.

Rat Face (L2 Thief) Total XP: 1,577. Seemingly grabbed in the dark by a Xenomorph in Session 36. In a sinkhole your party can hear you scream! 

Smarticus (L1 Mage) Total XP: 0. Captured by a Xenomorph in Session 36 for all the party to witness. Taken deep into a sinkhole.

Hearticus (L1 Cleric) Total XP: 0. Gored to death by giant horned beetles in Session 39 after projectile vomiting all over himself from the stink of sewer sludge.

Mickey Mouser (L1 Thief) Total XP: 0. Gored to death by giant horned beetles in Session 39 in the happiest place on earth: the Cyfaraun sewer!

Aenes (Level 1 Paladin) Total XP: 62. Swarmed by giant flies in the sewer beneath Cyfaraun in Session 40.

Acianus (Level 1 Mage) Total XP: 0. Chopped to pieces in Session 42 by a six armed demon statue from behind and quickly forgotten about by his compatriots who saved MadEye and lamented Hardar instead. But I'll never forget you Acinanu nanu...nanite... nananaa...

Hardar (Level 2 Mage) Total XP: 2,832. Chopped up in Session 42 by a six armed demon statue as he held his Darth Vader Choking Grip spell long enough for his compatriots to escape an unwinnable battle. His dream to become the most evil being in the universe suffers eternally the indignity of being remembered for self sacrifice and laying his life down for his friends.

Nubbs (Level 3 Thief) Total XP: 4,017. Swarmed by scarabs which bored into his ears and brain in Session 45.

Grummz (Level 1 Dwarven Vaultgard) Total XP: 0. Ripped limb from limb by a throng of skeletons and their undead golem leaders in Session 46.

Grommzs (Level 1 Dwarven Vaultguard) Total XP: 2,168. Torn to bits and eaten by trolls in session 48

Rapunzel (Level 4 Priestess) Total XP: 11,540. Torn to bits and eaten by trolls in Session 48.

Schizo (Level 1 Mage): Total XP: 0. Frozen to death by an assassin's guild ruffian bard wielding a Wand of Cold in session 54.

Marteen (Level 1 Thief): Total XP: 0. Fell to his death in Lamalla's Temple upon a pile of dragon horde gold. Corpse eaten by Sheila the Beautiful, an Ancient Blue Dragon in session 56.

Ambrose (Level 2 Cleric): Total XP: idk. Strangled to death by cursed octopi in a canoe on Lake Laman claiming the Sinister Stone of Sakkara for Law and eventual destruction in session 63.

Traiticus (Level 9 Fighter): Total XP: alot. Head split in half by Froggo's bronze magic "Fren Axe" during Operation Muscle Thunder on 08/09/22.

Alina (Level 7 Mage). Cut in half at her belt line by Froggo's bronze magic "Fren Axe" during Operation Muscle Thunder on 08/09/22.

Olgar McKenzie (Level 5ish Barbarian). Soul eaten by Stormbringer wielded by the Manson the mad assassin during Operation Muscle Thunder on 08/09/22.

Celeste (Level 7ish Witch). Soul eaten by Stormbringer wielded by the Manson the mad assassin during Operation Muscle Thunder on 08/09/22. Said Ancient Soul caused a backfire effect and blasted Manson's face off leaving him dead in the sea foam.

Allen A'Dulles (Level 1 Bard): Petrified by a basilisk in the Meniri Mountains in Session 66.

Cyfaraun (Level 1 Elven Spellsword): Eaten by basilisks in the Meniri Mountains in Session 66.

Tamryn (Level 1 Elven Spellsword):  Petrified by a basilisk in the Meniri Mountains in Session 66

Allen the Bard (Level 1 Bard): Petrified by a basilisk in the Meniri Mountains in Session 66.

UnNamed Venturer (Level 1 Venturer): Killed by astral demons and sucked into the vacuum of spacetime in Session 66.

Major Garland Briggs (Level 1 Explorer): Killed by the crossbow bolt of an angry thracian in a dormant (?) volcano dungeon called Queens Rest Mountain. Then his body was eaten by giant chameleons as the rest of the party made their escape in Session 73.

Autumn Leaves (Level 1 Elven Spellsword): Died to lizardman crossbow bolts to the tears of her adventuring compatriots who tried to revive her after absconding with her corpse just outside Queens Rest Mountain in Session 73.

Xanthos (Level 6 Cleric): Cut down by a flaming blade by a very powerful thracian lizardman below Queens Rest Mountain in Session 74. Ressurected about two weeks later.

Stormin' Norman (Level 1 Gnomish Trickster): Captured by the lizardman tribe below Queens Rest Mountain whilst trying to use illusionist tricks to steal a magic spear. Was subsequently fed to their Giant Chameleons for being an annoying gnome in Session 74.

Alexa this is so sad play "Yellow Submarine" by Ringo Starr

Dubzaron Session 78: Like Dwarves in a china Shop (first session with class grading!)

TimeKeeping

Session was played on 10/26/22 with PCs adventuring for 5 days. Needing 1 day of rest they can take actions 11/01/22.

Participating PCs: 

crazy eyes

Aghuragh (Lawful L1 Dwarven Fury)[E]

Billy Murray (L1 Bard)[S]

Edelweiss (Neutral L4 Mage, Magical Scholar)[E]

Gront Coldsky (Neutral L4 Barbarian, Housecarl)[E]

Snorri Sljepyson (Lawful L1 Dwarven Vaultguard, Axebearer)[E]

Xanthos (Lawful L6 Cleric, Mendicant)[E]

Henchmen:

Edelweiss: Lillian (Neutral L3 Venturer)[S]

Session Report

You may ask "where's the session report for Session 77, Dubs?" Well, reader last session I couldn't DM or play so my Co-DM took over and ran session 77. I don't believe he has a report up yet but I'll link it when he does. 

This session was our first major dwarf focused session because last session the party apparently trekked out to the dwarven city of Azen Radhok and ended their session there. During that session they apparently discovered a weird little mini dungeon full of magical lab equipment. They didn't take it last session because they didn't have the means to carry it all and it was defended by two gargoyles. Seems it may have had 4 gargoyle guards but the PCs had all they wanted just killing half of them so they ran off.

This session they decided to get the lab equipment for Edelweiss. Her grade was improved by the fact she convinced the PCs to go get wizardy stuff for her. Vancian wizards are like that.

The Party launched out of the dwarven vault of Azen Radhok with a few new dwarf PCs in tow. We were still discussing how the class grading might work. Check out my last session report if you're curious about my thoughts on the 1e style class grading, why I decided to institute it in an ACKS campaign, how grades work etc. 

As the session was winding up players were kind of feeling me out about the grading and how they should act or whatever. I am not trying to rule with an iron fist about all the things PCs should be doing so I just kind of pointed out the general "bad grade" guidelines from the 1e DMG. Our new dwarven Fury took this to heart, perhaps ironically? But as Jeffro said on the tw11ters the grading system makes a better campaign even when it's followed ironically.

They traveled southeast along the mountain roads as red mists climbed over the peaks. The previous day had blood rain and it was wet. 

During watch on the first night of travel Aghuragh the Dwarven Fury heard a noise in the bushes over 100 yards away and went running angrily at the sound. I can't prove it but I think the Player may have been clowning on the new class grading rules. "Oh so fighters have to be bold or they get a bad grade huh? Well I'll show you bold. I'll be idiotically bold!" If the player wanted to offend me his behavior had the opposite effect. My sides hit the moon.

Gront and Snorri were also on watch and a bit confused, having never adventured with a Fury before, but stayed back a bit to wake the other party members. For TOTM I decided running at full speed through a dark mountainous terrain would require a successful Paralyze check which Aghuragh made. This tracks with ACKS dungeon chase rules which call for such saves when taking 90 degree turns during a running dungeon chase and navigating doors. If the player merely failed the save they could only move at combat, not running speed. If they failed by 14 or more or a natural 1, they fell on their face.

Aghuragh was carrying a torch and military oil and chucked it at the 4 white apes who were the source of the sound, missing them but also not dropping the oil on a portion of the ground which was dry enough to light up and cause a wildfire. Too bad since apparently he wanted madness.  

Edelweiss summoned 4 beserkers and the other martial PCs fell in line with and behind Aghuragh to fight the apes. Xanthos summoned a flying magic weapon; the holy spear of Naurivus!

The apes charged at the PCs but two of them rolled natural 1 on their Paralyze running check and fell on their face. Two of them attacked beserkers (killing 1) and Aghuragh respectively. 1 damage done to the Fury was shook off thanks for the Class's 1 Damage Reduction (DR) at his current level. I got flashbacks of 3e barbarians but it was a cool moment for the PC to be able to laugh off the low damage.

Eventually the Party killed the 4 apes without taking any significant losses or damage. Edelweiss chopped off their heads for Science(TM), intending to use them for magic item creation or perhaps just sell. The heads rolled around in the wagon the next day preventing Gront from getting some sleep to make up for his exhaustion from staying up all night. The party asked him to stay up all night on watch since barbarians are very good at avoiding being Surprised. Having a barbarian on hand way back when could have saved Rapunzel's life. Players have taken this to heart!

I ruled a Save Vs Paralyze would be required for Gront to get proper rest in a wagon that was bumping along and had ape heads rolling around in the back and staring at him eerily. He failed the save so was Fatigued so at -1 for most checks until he got a good night's sleep.

The party hid their wagon the next day so they could set off into the mountains towards the hidden magic laboratory they discovered last session. It took them a day and a half to find where they had mapped out the location last time. My house rule on this is to use the ACKS Finding Lairs checks with a +4 to the check(s) if someone with Navigation mapped the location of the Point of Interest at the time. If you don't have a good Navigation having mapper on hand you're going to have alot of trouble finding some location on the overland map later down the line. The party had such a mapper last session which made this self generated hook even possible.

During the night searching Aghuragh ran off some weird pill bug looking vermin that wasn't particularly hostile; being hostile is apparently the Fury's job. At this point the absolutely bonkers behavior of the Dwarven Fury was defining the nature of the class for the campaign milleau. The player of the Dwarven Vaultguard started rolling his eyes and saying stuff about "that's just how Furies are, they're nuts" stuff like that. During downtime in private chat the two players even began to argue about who was braver and a better warrior due to their different approaches to combat. The Fury called the Vaultguard an "elfbeard" which is apparently a terrible insult among dwarves! As per usual we do storygaming better than storygamers. In this case, class grading was the main reason for all this fun gaming story.

The next morning the party took 4 hours to find their mapped out point of interest but I sadly rolled no random encounters during that time. The party stood back about 150 yards on a hilltop looking over the weird stone structure with its zaharan demon statues which they knew to be gargoyles. Xanthos discussed with the group maybe walking up and casting Protection from Evil, Sustained so the party could loot the place without the gargoyles attacking them. As per ACKS gargoyles are one of the creatures that can not attack those who have Protection from Evil on them.

Discussion went on and on but the creatures could clearly see the party and Xanthos isn't sneaking up on anyone so the gargoyles took to the sky and came at the party. Their sudden movement surprised the party (except for Gront) so they closed the distance within 50' before the party could take an action. The following round all the PCs went and Edelweiss cast Protection From Evil but Snorri shot an arrow thus breaking the Protection's ability to hold off summoned monsters entirely (we did a coin flip if it was before or after due to it being on same initiative).

Gront won initiative and set for charge but the Gargoyles went at the same time as Edelweiss's spell and I rolled a check to see if the gargoyles were going to charge madly and dive bomb or approach more carefully and target the middle or back ranks of the party. I did this with the 2d6 reaction check thing and the gargoyles rolled 11 meaning they weren't crazy angry/bloodthirsty. They landed in the center of the party and were able to down Snorri and Lillian in short order. No one could damage the gargoyles except Gront with his magic glaive and Xanthos with his summoned magic floating weapons. One gargoyle, realizing this, grabbed Gront's glaive away from him with a successful Disarm attack but, unfortunately for your poor (and favorite) DM, the gargoyle only had 1 hit point left and Xanthos downed him right away. 

Gront picked his glaive back up and kept hacking away. Edelweiss cleverly summoned beserkers and had them attack with Wrestling moves which hemmed up one of the gargoyles for 1 round and prevented an attack routine of the gargoyles 4 attacks, likely saving someone from some hits. I took this clever use of the spell into account for Edelweiss's grade. Eventually that last gargoyle was killed. 

I had already checked to see if some other monster wandered in and found this point of interest (magical lab) while the PCs were away and the answer was no. Fortuneatly for the PCs this area was patrolled by the dwarves of the nearby Azen Radohk so my restocking check was only one per week rather than one per day in a more wild part of the map.

So the party had free reign to go in and get all the lab equipment which was worth quite a bit. I thought they'd need to make multiple trips to carry it but sadly they had a bunch of horses they stacked up. The only thing I may have done differently is I allowed the PCs to say "well we probably would have bought saddle bags for this since it was our plan". No. You either did or you didn't in downtime or prior to setting off. Next time I will be less lenient on this but things were getting late and I didn't have the energy to press the point.

On the trek back to the wagon with horses weighed down with lab equipment, the party was attacked by 2 Tremors from the hit Kevin Bacon film "Tremors". I don't remember all the details but I believe a PC was downed. I rolled a couple natural 18s against Xanthos and was bummed they weren't natural 19 since that, as per ACKS, means the Tremors would have swallowed Xanthos whole. Next time! I also had the tremors attack the horses but they missed. Sad. I would have ruled some of the lab equipment getting broken if they'd have successfully damaged a horse carrying the equipment. It just wasn't my night!

The party killed the tremors and cut them open finding some gems and a magic shield in their bellies. Later that day the party came across a Lawful adventuring party led by a L6 Mendicant gal named Adeldottir. She was traveling with 2 clerics (L1 and L3) and 2 Craftpriests (L1 and L2) on, apparently, some scouting missions to improve relations between the Empyrean clerics and Dwarven cults. That's just the sort of things Mendicants do. They abide. Xanthos got her digits and may look her up in the Vault at a later time. Random encounters can sometimes make for some interesting stories. If the players are motivated by this NPC and the weird quest I gave her they can maybe help her with it in the future. It's on them and their player agency, which is the BROSR way.

The party made their way to their wagon and then took the road home. To my chagrin there were no more random encounters rolled.

Grading Explanation

There's not a great deal to say about the grading this session. Aghuragh caught an E (the best grade) for being a Fury who is Furious. Outstanding play since he basically defined what the class even is for the entire campaign going forward. 

Edelweiss got an E for creative spell use, not leaving spell slots unused, and for basically getting a bunch of bruisers to go fetch magic lab equipment for her. Just mage things.

Gront got an E for continuing to be the most effective PC barbarian in the campaign so far.

Snorri got an E because he was indeed bold (despite not being foolhardy or Furious like the Fury).

Xanthos continued his E streak by healing whenever possible and doing quests that align with (or at least don't offend) his deity. Xanthos, being a mendicant, will generally get graded better on overland stuff since imo mendicants are all about hitting the road.

Billy Murray had the worst grade with an S just because I felt he was too bold in the battle against the gargoyles for being a Bard. I think ACKS Bards are more like a Thief class than a Fighter subtype so, as per 1e grading rules, they should be avoiding melee combat when possible. "S" is not a terrible grade it merely indicates there was 1 or 2 times when the PC acted outside of their role. Bards will also be graded on whether or not they take the lead in a Face opportunity to talk with NPCs or whatever. That didn't really come up here since I found it fair that Xanthos would take such a lead to talk with a fellow mendicant PC when the party met one.

Deceased

Dama (L1 Venturer) played by RR.  Current total xp: 75. DECEASED. Poison gas in Session 3.

Darius LeVay (L1 Assassin) played by JB. Current Total XP:451. DECEASED. Poison gas in Session 3.

Donald the Guardsman (L1 Fighter) played by MP. Current Total XP:570. DECEASED. Intra-party justice in Session 3.

Felix (L1 Thief) played by Nicholas. Current Total XP:431. DECEASED. Poison gas in Session 3.

Hektor (L1 Paladin) played by Moai. DECEASED. Cause of Death: goblin warg rider throat removal surgery in Session 2

Leonidas the Inquisitor (L1 Cleric) played by RR.Current Total XP:498  DECEASED. Frozen undead blistering cold aura left his skin frostbitten and broken in Session 6. Body not recovered.

Mard the Mage (L1 Mage) played by Nicholas. DECEASED. Frozen undead blistering cold aura left his skin frostbitten and broken in Session 6. Body not recovered.

Yolo Baggins "My friends call me Swaggins" (L1 Gnomish Trickster) played by J. DECEASED. Paralyzed and eaten by ghouls in Session 12. Body not recovered.

Jack Filcher (L1 Thief) played by C. DECEASED. Shot full of arrows by Inthorn's brigands in Session 12. Body not recovered.

Swoleous Maximus (L1 Paladin). DECEASED. Captured then drawn and quartered by Inthorn the Brigand warlord in Session 12. Posthumously named "Petty Hero of Turos Tem" by Legate Valerian. Ashes offered a place of pride in the Hospital.

Damianus (L1 Cleric). DECEASED. Captured and beheaded by Inthorn the Brigand warlord in Session 12. Posthumously named "Petty Hero of Turos Tem" by Legate Valerian. Ashes offered a place of pride in the Hospital.

Bucky (L1 Barbarian). DECEASED. Became a illegal pit fighter during his downtime. Had two bouts to the death, winning the first and losing the second. Was killed by Young Jack Sparrow who sashayed into the ring, drank rum, and mogged on Bucky before putting a dagger into his ribs, killing him. This happened during downtime between Session 17 and 18.

Broll Wolf-Eater (L1 Barbarian). Current total XP: 1079. DECEASED. Carried off by harpies after falling for their enchanting song in Session 19.

Brother Franklin (L1 Cleric). DECEASED. Decapitated by a mad cultist of a Lovecraftian slime thing in Session 19.

Felix the Elder (L1 Bard). Total XP 825. DECEASED. Captured by mad cultists and fed to a Lovecraftian slime monster in Session 19.

Templar Flavius Africanus (L1 Cleric). Total XP 7. Killed by the claws and beak of mad harpies in Session 19.

Xendi (L1 Explorer). Total XP 6. DECEASED. Carried off by harpies after falling for their enchanting song in Session 19.

Yllmeeton (L3 Shaman). Total XP 4,563. Bludgeoned by the corpse of a bowmen by Rosie Odonnel hag in Session 21.

Longinus (L2 Assassin). Total XP 2,036. Had his face ripped off by Rosie Odonnel hag in Session 21.

Mandonio (L3 Fighter). Total XP 4,779. Charred to a leprous crisp by diseased Dragon breath in Session 22.

Corydon (L1 Joker). Total XP: 0. Burnt to a crisp by chimera breath so thoroughly his corpse wasn't even fit for the crows. Died with a smile on his face and a song in his heart. that's life and as funny as it seems... some people get their kicks, stomping on a dream... In Session 25.

Donny Keebler (L1 Elven Spellsword). Total XP 2,238. Had his legs burned completely off by chimera fire breath in Session 25.

Marina (L2 Fighter). Total XP: 2,204. Burnt into ash by a chimera fire breath in Session 25.

Gundro (L2 Gnomish Trickster). Total XP: 2,575. Had his mouth and tongue bitten off by a lizardman ambusher in the dank sewers below Cyfaraun in Session 26.

Polydoros (L1 Fighter). Total XP: 0. Had his legs ripped off and eaten by Akira monsters in the dark canopy of the Viaspen Forest in Session 28.

Odrum (L1 Explorer). Total XP: 287. Javelin to the heart from the hands of weird vine goblins hidden in the walls of Ferigno's lair in Session 30.

Garvin the Nutless Wonder (L1 Mage). Total XP: 0. Fell off the side of Ferigno's lair 20 feet to his death in Session 30.

Blackmoon (L1 Assassin). Total XP: 768. Choked to death by BOB from Twin Peaks while stealing treasure from Ferigno's dragon horde in Session 30.

Xanthus (L2 Cleric). Total XP: 2,364. Choked to death by BOB from Twin Peaks while hanging out on the roof of Ferigno's lair in Session 30.

Lord Zyklon (L1 Elven Spellsword). Total XP: 0. LORD ZYKLON DISEMBOWLED LORD ZYKLON upon finding himself on the losing side of the Desolation of Turos Tem.

Turin (L1 Cleric). Total XP: 0. Eaten by Wargs in Session 32.

Rat Face (L2 Thief) Total XP: 1,577. Seemingly grabbed in the dark by a Xenomorph in Session 36. In a sinkhole your party can hear you scream! 

Smarticus (L1 Mage) Total XP: 0. Captured by a Xenomorph in Session 36 for all the party to witness. Taken deep into a sinkhole.

Hearticus (L1 Cleric) Total XP: 0. Gored to death by giant horned beetles in Session 39 after projectile vomiting all over himself from the stink of sewer sludge.

Mickey Mouser (L1 Thief) Total XP: 0. Gored to death by giant horned beetles in Session 39 in the happiest place on earth: the Cyfaraun sewer!

Aenes (Level 1 Paladin) Total XP: 62. Swarmed by giant flies in the sewer beneath Cyfaraun in Session 40.

Acianus (Level 1 Mage) Total XP: 0. Chopped to pieces in Session 42 by a six armed demon statue from behind and quickly forgotten about by his compatriots who saved MadEye and lamented Hardar instead. But I'll never forget you Acinanu nanu...nanite... nananaa...

Hardar (Level 2 Mage) Total XP: 2,832. Chopped up in Session 42 by a six armed demon statue as he held his Darth Vader Choking Grip spell long enough for his compatriots to escape an unwinnable battle. His dream to become the most evil being in the universe suffers eternally the indignity of being remembered for self sacrifice and laying his life down for his friends.

Nubbs (Level 3 Thief) Total XP: 4,017. Swarmed by scarabs which bored into his ears and brain in Session 45.

Grummz (Level 1 Dwarven Vaultgard) Total XP: 0. Ripped limb from limb by a throng of skeletons and their undead golem leaders in Session 46.

Grommzs (Level 1 Dwarven Vaultguard) Total XP: 2,168. Torn to bits and eaten by trolls in session 48

Rapunzel (Level 4 Priestess) Total XP: 11,540. Torn to bits and eaten by trolls in Session 48.

Schizo (Level 1 Mage): Total XP: 0. Frozen to death by an assassin's guild ruffian bard wielding a Wand of Cold in session 54.

Marteen (Level 1 Thief): Total XP: 0. Fell to his death in Lamalla's Temple upon a pile of dragon horde gold. Corpse eaten by Sheila the Beautiful, an Ancient Blue Dragon in session 56.

Ambrose (Level 2 Cleric): Total XP: idk. Strangled to death by cursed octopi in a canoe on Lake Laman claiming the Sinister Stone of Sakkara for Law and eventual destruction in session 63.

Traiticus (Level 9 Fighter): Total XP: alot. Head split in half by Froggo's bronze magic "Fren Axe" during Operation Muscle Thunder on 08/09/22.

Alina (Level 7 Mage). Cut in half at her belt line by Froggo's bronze magic "Fren Axe" during Operation Muscle Thunder on 08/09/22.

Olgar McKenzie (Level 5ish Barbarian). Soul eaten by Stormbringer wielded by the Manson the mad assassin during Operation Muscle Thunder on 08/09/22.

Celeste (Level 7ish Witch). Soul eaten by Stormbringer wielded by the Manson the mad assassin during Operation Muscle Thunder on 08/09/22. Said Ancient Soul caused a backfire effect and blasted Manson's face off leaving him dead in the sea foam.

Allen A'Dulles (Level 1 Bard): Petrified by a basilisk in the Meniri Mountains in Session 66.

Cyfaraun (Level 1 Elven Spellsword): Eaten by basilisks in the Meniri Mountains in Session 66.

Tamryn (Level 1 Elven Spellsword):  Petrified by a basilisk in the Meniri Mountains in Session 66

Allen the Bard (Level 1 Bard): Petrified by a basilisk in the Meniri Mountains in Session 66.

UnNamed Venturer (Level 1 Venturer): Killed by astral demons and sucked into the vacuum of spacetime in Session 66.

Major Garland Briggs (Level 1 Explorer): Killed by the crossbow bolt of an angry thracian in a dormant (?) volcano dungeon called Queens Rest Mountain. Then his body was eaten by giant chameleons as the rest of the party made their escape in Session 73.

Autumn Leaves (Level 1 Elven Spellsword): Died to lizardman crossbow bolts to the tears of her adventuring compatriots who tried to revive her after absconding with her corpse just outside Queens Rest Mountain in Session 73.

Xanthos (Level 6 Cleric): Cut down by a flaming blade by a very powerful thracian lizardman below Queens Rest Mountain in Session 74. Ressurected about two weeks later.

Stormin' Norman (Level 1 Gnomish Trickster): Captured by the lizardman tribe below Queens Rest Mountain whilst trying to use illusionist tricks to steal a magic spear. Was subsequently fed to their Giant Chameleons for being an annoying gnome in Session 74.

Alexa this is so sad play "On The Road Again" by Willie Nelson

Dubzaron Session 76: First Strike on Lamalla (and why Class Grading is Good)

TimeKeeping

This sessions was played on 10/12/22 with 1 day of delving and 1 day of rest required. PCs can act on 10/14/22 and after.

Participating PCs

[Grades are Practice Grades as we began doing real grades on Session 78]

gary wtf is this

Billy (L5 Explorer)[E]
Edwelweiss (L4 Mage Magical Scholar)[F]
Gront Coldskey (L3 Barbarian Housecarl)[E]
Kortes (L6 Explorer)[S]
Tuck (L1 Barbarian)[E]
Xanthos (L6 Cleric of Turas)[E]

Hench:
Kortes: Ye (L1 Assassin)[F], Mugsy (L1 Thief)[S]. 
Edelweiss: Bella (L1 Assassin)[F], Lillian (L1 Venturer)[S]  

Session Report

This was the first (and so far only) session in which the PCs have used their session time to address the #BROSR multiverse-campaign event The Curse of Lamalla. Prefect Drakon (Patron) was particularly interested in ending the curse in the Dubzaron campaign as soon as possible. Knowing he (and the other campaigns) would need at least 6 good boy points in their favor to end it quickly, he did some downtime Patron play stuff like Divination, rumormongering and the like to think up some things he could do to help the cosmic forces of Law deal with the out of control Lamalla. One quest he dreamed up and ran by me for approval was the PCs delving into the sealed Temple of Lamalla beneath one of his cities of Turos Orn. This is my homebrew kilodungeon which his been a factor in the campaign since around May. The backstory for it was a lost cult of Lamalla used to control the Palatinate out of there some hundreds of years before the Auran empire but it was sealed up long ago by the Tower of Knowledge (Mage Guild). 

The PCs already delved the place about 4 times but hadn't been back since June! I was very happy the Curse of Lamalla inspired them to go back because I really enjoy running the homebrew and semi-randomized dungeon.

Drakon (Patron Prefect of Dubzaron) was offering a big payout if they could find and destroy the major altar inside, earning  Good Boy Point (GBP) against Lamalla the Lobsterlady Deity. The party arrived in Turos Orn and Kortes met with a shadowy contact of Drakon (or Acton's?) named Mr White. We riffed on him being Waltar White from Breaking Bad but in hindsight I believe Drakon intended him as Mr White from Reservoir Dogs. In Dubzaron canon he's a combination. Walter White in a black suit and tie with pressed white shirt. Dancing to "stuck in the middle with you". 

Mr White informed Kortes that level 3 is where the most powerful altar in the dungeon is located, according to his sources. What sources? Who knows! White slipped away with a nod of his bald head and resting nerd-rage face. 

The party went to the Tower of Knowledge in Turos Orn into the basement where they met with Seth Rogen the Gatekeeper of the dungeon. It's all sealed up by the Tower some centuries before, when the Auran Empire took over the spot and found it easier to seal than completely clear out the fel horrors below. Edelweiss tried to get the Tower mages to give the party free spell casting help to delve the dungeon but couldn't hit the Reaction Roll. The mages were "Neutral" to the party after hearing her out and were happy to cast spells for cash but not for free. Edelweiss chose not to press her luck. Seth Rogen said a sexist joke at her which he's since apologized for on twitter stating that "times were different then and I regret how my old humor doesn't align with current year woke doctrine please don't cancel me". He was clearly high on pineapple express.

The party delved into level 1 of the dungeon and crossed to the stairs to level 2 with no encounters. The spiral stairs in question continue down to level 3 so they simply kept descending them, coming to a square room with blue velvet curtains along all the walls. No apparent exits since they couldn't see the walls without opening the curtains...

Kortes, whom his player has said is dumb as rocks, marched up to the curtains on the north wall and pushed them open. Behind it was a super ghoul (ghast) which had a nosferatu thing going on, but it's face glowing slightly blue. Neither side was surprised so regular initiative combat began. As the fight progressed 4 ghouls came out from behind the curtains and another ghast. One ghast got a successful bite on Xanthos even as the cleric was turning away 2 of the ghouls with the power of Naurivus and his holy silver ship symbol. Gront sliced through the other two ghouls. Tuck was paraylzed by a ghast attack before the creature was laid low and the other ghast ran from Xantho's holy symbol the next round. The turned undead sprinted through the curtains on the east wall revealing a 20 foot wide hallway with the same curtains going down along either side. 

Kortes took to investigating the western wall for secret doors while some of the party guarded the other walls and others were waving their hands in front of Tuck's face to see if maybe the paralyzation would wear off. After 20 minutes it hadn't and Kortes was getting tired of looking for secret doors so the party gave him a Cure Light Wounds potion to remove the ghoul paralysis. Xanthos cast Commune and Naurivus (Xanthos' Deity of Travel, who looks like Captain Silver from Muppets Treasure Island) showed up bemused by the odd blue velvet room. He slapped Xanthos on the back and answered questions about "which was is the safest towards the altar", being told to go south. And some other questions I forget now.

Xanthos then cast Locate Object "altar" and a silver ship came from his holy symbol to fly towards where the ghouls had fled. The party decided to go with Naurivus's advice rather than the Find Object spell's direction and exited the room on a door on the south wall.

The next room to the south had blue curtains as well. On the west wall was a television with an eerie blue glow which was showing video of the past PCs' deaths with a seinfield laugh track and soundtrack. We enjoyed a nice episode of MadEye and Xanthos being thrown to some giant chameleons to be eaten up while the studio audience roared with laughter. "Who ARE these PCs?" Autumn Leaves was shot through with lizardman bolts while the crowd giggled. And on it went. The party didn't investigate the odd glowing video box at all seemingly annoyed with me for inventing a way to dunk on their past failures while I chuckled to myself.

They went east out of the only apparent exit in the room. This was a hallway that went east for a while then south coming to a temple room of some sort with lines of wooden pews. 

The pews looked out over a balcony into a massive gallery. The balcony had no railing. It seemed to be designed to view the altar which was on a walkway at the balcony's height but 10 feet away from the balcony edge. Between the balcony the PCs were on and the walkway altar was a drop of about 10 to 15 feet straight down. Below was, on the west wide of the gallery, a stone floor with geometrically carved tiles. Towards the east on the floor seemed to be weird blue water lapping along the walls. The high altar was about 30 fee away from the far west wall of the gallery, which was carved with graven images of whales eating women human sacrifices. The whales eyes glowed and moved to watch the PCs.

The PCs were certain THIS was the altar they needed to destroy and they discussed how to physically get over to it. During the discussion the Ghast and 2 ghouls which were turned came back but didn't surprise the party. Billy charged in to assure the creatures wouldn't engage with the mage/venturer etc. Gront charged in and cleaved through all three of the undead. No problem.

Some considered a rope bridge to cross to the altar and analyzed what the issues there might be. Eventually Kortes broke out a Potion of Fly and gave it to Xanthos who flew over and started beating upon the unholy altar to Lamalla. Immediately strange giant storks made of smoke and haze appeared. They had the faces of humans despite their long beaks, and their wings were the arms of men. Disconcerting! 

They surrounded Xanthos in a circle and began to squawk eerily. Xanthos was feeling weak from the sound.

Though the astral storks (or whatever) weren't attacking the party directly they decided it would be dangerous to let them continue to squawk at Xanthos so they attacked. Arrows were launched which simply were not finding the creatures' vitals as it seemed their strange fuzzy hides were uncannily strong. Three of the giant beasts flew at Xanthos and successfully pecked him once despite his crazy high AC as well. One flew over and pecked at Tuck and downed the barbarian. The creature cleaved at Edelweiss the Mage and players held their breath but she only took 3 damage and survived the single hit. 

Meanwhile Edelweiss, before being struck, had cast Summon Beserkers and ordered them to smash the altar with Xanthos. The Beserkers hemmed and hawed and wanted to kill rather than smash a dumb altar so I made a reaction check to see if they'd follow such a boring order. They did and went to smashing. Unfortunately they were all killed in a single round of cleaving by one of the crazy storks.

Xanthos for his part tried to attack the creatures once and, realizing how hard they were to hit, did a fighting withdrawal (flying withdrawl?) back to the party. He broke out a Dispel Evil scroll which he successfully cast, despite the beasts chasing and pecking at him, and a blast of holy light went out 30' radius iirc. One of the storks successfully rolled Magic Resistance (yes they had magic resistance) and two made their saving throws. The last one didn't resist OR make it's saving throw and it was blown into red dust. But even the ones that survived were forced to flee from the Dispel Magic, as per the spell and they flew deeper into the dungeon inside the massive gallery.

The party eventually tag teamed and took down the last demon stork. Someone gave Tuck a sip of a CLW potion before his mortal wound roll from the big beak peck he took. He stood up with 1 HP, shrugging the mortal wound roll off like no problem.

Xanthos carefully flew each PC and henchman over from the balcony onto the altar walkway. Kortes's automatic "check for secret doors" roll hit and he noticed a bit of treasure hidden in the smashed remains of the altar. The party bagged it up before heading east along the 10' walkway above the big drop to the weird water below. The walkway made a T intersection north and south with a ladder going down on the eastern portion. The party was still following Xanthos' Locate Object spell, gathering there must be more than one altar. Following it took them north along the walkway before it jutted into the wall and they were traveling down a loooong hallway going north. They came upon a hostile minotaur but Tuck drank a Giant Strength potion and beat the thing down. (with a bit of teamwork).

They went north then west along the hallway, passing a couple doors including a Nethercity style crypt door that Kortes was like "not no but hell no". Checking out some monk cells in one of the doors they were attacked by a weird elephant lion chimera thing. Giant Strength Tuck picked up a chair and beat the thing down easily like Macho Mandalf on a tark. There was much cheering and laughing and e-high-fives. 

Eventually the party went in a full circle coming back to the first blue velvet room and traveling down the wide blue velvet hallway, coming to an evil chapel with reverse gravity water on the ceiling. They smashed the altar there and ignored the steel door on the north wall, the only other apparent exit. They went back up to level 1, then out to the Tower basement, deciding not to push their luck with any further exploration.

Afterword

The PCs were really hyped to score a point against the Curse of Lamalla for the good guys. It didn't hurt that Drakon was offering a pretty solid payout for success as well. This newer crop of players is a bit more into the cash money that old Team A and Team B, who were always game for smashing altars even without a major treasure payout on the line. 

The Curse of Lamalla has since had some other Good Boy Points scored and Lamalla has become a bit more desperate, offering the multiverse of possible Chaotic/Evil Patrons and PCs to do something big to score her some Bad Boy Points. The Trident of Lamalla could be yours!

It was fun to get the PCs back into my homebrew dungeon and have some fun personally dreamed up ideas to riff off of with the background situation of the Curse of Lamalla. 

Grading Explanation

The grades I gave this session were just to practice doing it. To give PCs some conception of how I'm approaching the grading, prior to the houserules being live. I'm basically lifting most of the 1e class grading system whole cloth into the Dubzaron Campaign. I've screenshotted the DMG section with most of the rules here. A little High Gygaxian for your reading enjoyment. My thoughts to the players regarding their grades (in the Participating PCs section) are thus:

Most Explorers are going to have a hard time catching "E" when dungeon delving since it's really just not their thing overall (maybe there are some templates which it is). As such Kortes was about as superior as an Explorer can be on a deep delve without having some exemplary moment, Exploring around for secret doors. Billy copped an E because of his outstanding back rank coverage keeping the mage sorts from getting melee which imo Explorers would do. Explorers with Tracking will do well to keep that ability in mind for future grading since it was never used [not sure if either have it], didn't impact session 76. 

Gront caught an E for being a killing machine and bold, which aligns with a Barbarian Housecarl (though he should consider having some hench since housecarls would be into having servants). Tuck would have been S for being bold and brave (despite being level 1) but grabbed the E for the WWE giant strength steel chair attack. Xanthos was absolutely a Lawful Cleric the Empyrean all session and smashed two altars in this session, so E.  

Edelweiss caught a Fair grade since she was a bit reticent to use spells at one point and showed no interest in the intellectual, puzzle, historical, and possible arcane stuff in the dungeon (ignore a magic tv?). When the player objected to this I asked the player to name a "Magical Scholar" (Edelweiss's template) Mage/Wizard sort from Pulp Fantasy that would be disinterested in an ancient dungeon with weird magics everywhere.

I found the grading fun (even though this was practice) and I really enjoyed it a great deal when I was a PC in Trollopulous. Mine players may not enjoy it, exactly, but I have since seen at least acceptance of it and, after Session 78 where grading and training was truly instituted, some downtime story elements have come up with finding trainers and such.

Deceased

Dama (L1 Venturer) played by RR.  Current total xp: 75. DECEASED. Poison gas in Session 3.

Darius LeVay (L1 Assassin) played by JB. Current Total XP:451. DECEASED. Poison gas in Session 3.

Donald the Guardsman (L1 Fighter) played by MP. Current Total XP:570. DECEASED. Intra-party justice in Session 3.

Felix (L1 Thief) played by Nicholas. Current Total XP:431. DECEASED. Poison gas in Session 3.

Hektor (L1 Paladin) played by Moai. DECEASED. Cause of Death: goblin warg rider throat removal surgery in Session 2

Leonidas the Inquisitor (L1 Cleric) played by RR.Current Total XP:498  DECEASED. Frozen undead blistering cold aura left his skin frostbitten and broken in Session 6. Body not recovered.

Mard the Mage (L1 Mage) played by Nicholas. DECEASED. Frozen undead blistering cold aura left his skin frostbitten and broken in Session 6. Body not recovered.

Yolo Baggins "My friends call me Swaggins" (L1 Gnomish Trickster) played by J. DECEASED. Paralyzed and eaten by ghouls in Session 12. Body not recovered.

Jack Filcher (L1 Thief) played by C. DECEASED. Shot full of arrows by Inthorn's brigands in Session 12. Body not recovered.

Swoleous Maximus (L1 Paladin). DECEASED. Captured then drawn and quartered by Inthorn the Brigand warlord in Session 12. Posthumously named "Petty Hero of Turos Tem" by Legate Valerian. Ashes offered a place of pride in the Hospital.

Damianus (L1 Cleric). DECEASED. Captured and beheaded by Inthorn the Brigand warlord in Session 12. Posthumously named "Petty Hero of Turos Tem" by Legate Valerian. Ashes offered a place of pride in the Hospital.

Bucky (L1 Barbarian). DECEASED. Became a illegal pit fighter during his downtime. Had two bouts to the death, winning the first and losing the second. Was killed by Young Jack Sparrow who sashayed into the ring, drank rum, and mogged on Bucky before putting a dagger into his ribs, killing him. This happened during downtime between Session 17 and 18.

Broll Wolf-Eater (L1 Barbarian). Current total XP: 1079. DECEASED. Carried off by harpies after falling for their enchanting song in Session 19.

Brother Franklin (L1 Cleric). DECEASED. Decapitated by a mad cultist of a Lovecraftian slime thing in Session 19.

Felix the Elder (L1 Bard). Total XP 825. DECEASED. Captured by mad cultists and fed to a Lovecraftian slime monster in Session 19.

Templar Flavius Africanus (L1 Cleric). Total XP 7. Killed by the claws and beak of mad harpies in Session 19.

Xendi (L1 Explorer). Total XP 6. DECEASED. Carried off by harpies after falling for their enchanting song in Session 19.

Yllmeeton (L3 Shaman). Total XP 4,563. Bludgeoned by the corpse of a bowmen by Rosie Odonnel hag in Session 21.

Longinus (L2 Assassin). Total XP 2,036. Had his face ripped off by Rosie Odonnel hag in Session 21.

Mandonio (L3 Fighter). Total XP 4,779. Charred to a leprous crisp by diseased Dragon breath in Session 22.

Corydon (L1 Joker). Total XP: 0. Burnt to a crisp by chimera breath so thoroughly his corpse wasn't even fit for the crows. Died with a smile on his face and a song in his heart. that's life and as funny as it seems... some people get their kicks, stomping on a dream... In Session 25.

Donny Keebler (L1 Elven Spellsword). Total XP 2,238. Had his legs burned completely off by chimera fire breath in Session 25.

Marina (L2 Fighter). Total XP: 2,204. Burnt into ash by a chimera fire breath in Session 25.

Gundro (L2 Gnomish Trickster). Total XP: 2,575. Had his mouth and tongue bitten off by a lizardman ambusher in the dank sewers below Cyfaraun in Session 26.

Polydoros (L1 Fighter). Total XP: 0. Had his legs ripped off and eaten by Akira monsters in the dark canopy of the Viaspen Forest in Session 28.

Odrum (L1 Explorer). Total XP: 287. Javelin to the heart from the hands of weird vine goblins hidden in the walls of Ferigno's lair in Session 30.

Garvin the Nutless Wonder (L1 Mage). Total XP: 0. Fell off the side of Ferigno's lair 20 feet to his death in Session 30.

Blackmoon (L1 Assassin). Total XP: 768. Choked to death by BOB from Twin Peaks while stealing treasure from Ferigno's dragon horde in Session 30.

Xanthus (L2 Cleric). Total XP: 2,364. Choked to death by BOB from Twin Peaks while hanging out on the roof of Ferigno's lair in Session 30.

Lord Zyklon (L1 Elven Spellsword). Total XP: 0. LORD ZYKLON DISEMBOWLED LORD ZYKLON upon finding himself on the losing side of the Desolation of Turos Tem.

Turin (L1 Cleric). Total XP: 0. Eaten by Wargs in Session 32.

Rat Face (L2 Thief) Total XP: 1,577. Seemingly grabbed in the dark by a Xenomorph in Session 36. In a sinkhole your party can hear you scream! 

Smarticus (L1 Mage) Total XP: 0. Captured by a Xenomorph in Session 36 for all the party to witness. Taken deep into a sinkhole.

Hearticus (L1 Cleric) Total XP: 0. Gored to death by giant horned beetles in Session 39 after projectile vomiting all over himself from the stink of sewer sludge.

Mickey Mouser (L1 Thief) Total XP: 0. Gored to death by giant horned beetles in Session 39 in the happiest place on earth: the Cyfaraun sewer!

Aenes (Level 1 Paladin) Total XP: 62. Swarmed by giant flies in the sewer beneath Cyfaraun in Session 40.

Acianus (Level 1 Mage) Total XP: 0. Chopped to pieces in Session 42 by a six armed demon statue from behind and quickly forgotten about by his compatriots who saved MadEye and lamented Hardar instead. But I'll never forget you Acinanu nanu...nanite... nananaa...

Hardar (Level 2 Mage) Total XP: 2,832. Chopped up in Session 42 by a six armed demon statue as he held his Darth Vader Choking Grip spell long enough for his compatriots to escape an unwinnable battle. His dream to become the most evil being in the universe suffers eternally the indignity of being remembered for self sacrifice and laying his life down for his friends.

Nubbs (Level 3 Thief) Total XP: 4,017. Swarmed by scarabs which bored into his ears and brain in Session 45.

Grummz (Level 1 Dwarven Vaultgard) Total XP: 0. Ripped limb from limb by a throng of skeletons and their undead golem leaders in Session 46.

Grommzs (Level 1 Dwarven Vaultguard) Total XP: 2,168. Torn to bits and eaten by trolls in session 48

Rapunzel (Level 4 Priestess) Total XP: 11,540. Torn to bits and eaten by trolls in Session 48.

Schizo (Level 1 Mage): Total XP: 0. Frozen to death by an assassin's guild ruffian bard wielding a Wand of Cold in session 54.

Marteen (Level 1 Thief): Total XP: 0. Fell to his death in Lamalla's Temple upon a pile of dragon horde gold. Corpse eaten by Sheila the Beautiful, an Ancient Blue Dragon in session 56.

Ambrose (Level 2 Cleric): Total XP: idk. Strangled to death by cursed octopi in a canoe on Lake Laman claiming the Sinister Stone of Sakkara for Law and eventual destruction in session 63.

Traiticus (Level 9 Fighter): Total XP: alot. Head split in half by Froggo's bronze magic "Fren Axe" during Operation Muscle Thunder on 08/09/22.

Alina (Level 7 Mage). Cut in half at her belt line by Froggo's bronze magic "Fren Axe" during Operation Muscle Thunder on 08/09/22.

Olgar McKenzie (Level 5ish Barbarian). Soul eaten by Stormbringer wielded by the Manson the mad assassin during Operation Muscle Thunder on 08/09/22.

Celeste (Level 7ish Witch). Soul eaten by Stormbringer wielded by the Manson the mad assassin during Operation Muscle Thunder on 08/09/22. Said Ancient Soul caused a backfire effect and blasted Manson's face off leaving him dead in the sea foam.

Allen A'Dulles (Level 1 Bard): Petrified by a basilisk in the Meniri Mountains in Session 66.

Cyfaraun (Level 1 Elven Spellsword): Eaten by basilisks in the Meniri Mountains in Session 66.

Tamryn (Level 1 Elven Spellsword):  Petrified by a basilisk in the Meniri Mountains in Session 66

Allen the Bard (Level 1 Bard): Petrified by a basilisk in the Meniri Mountains in Session 66.

UnNamed Venturer (Level 1 Venturer): Killed by astral demons and sucked into the vacuum of spacetime in Session 66.

Major Garland Briggs (Level 1 Explorer): Killed by the crossbow bolt of an angry thracian in a dormant (?) volcano dungeon called Queens Rest Mountain. Then his body was eaten by giant chameleons as the rest of the party made their escape in Session 73.

Autumn Leaves (Level 1 Elven Spellsword): Died to lizardman crossbow bolts to the tears of her adventuring compatriots who tried to revive her after absconding with her corpse just outside Queens Rest Mountain in Session 73.

Xanthos (Level 6 Cleric): Cut down by a flaming blade by a very powerful thracian lizardman below Queens Rest Mountain in Session 74. Ressurected about two weeks later.

Stormin' Norman (Level 1 Gnomish Trickster): Captured by the lizardman tribe below Queens Rest Mountain whilst trying to use illusionist tricks to steal a magic spear. Was subsequently fed to their Giant Chameleons for being an annoying gnome in Session 74.

Alexa this is so sad play "Free Bird"